Need Help Please!!!

Hi Maggie,

Welcome to the forum...

You need to be more specific in your ads. If I was an entrepreneur looking for a small business opportunity...I would immediately look for the following info:

1. How much time and money I would need to invest in the project
2. the earning potential
3. What kind of skills do I need to undertake the project
4. Guarantees/ social proof....etc

Try adding that kind of info in your headline, as well as in the body copy.

A bit of scarcity..(eg; offer limited to 4 agents only..)...etc might also help get many applications.

All the best,

Zina

Hey Maggie...based on your ad, I honestly wouldn't even both to reply to it. It looks like one of those ads that people just throw out and are possible scam-ish.

I don't run a lot of CL ads anymore, but when I did, the ads I had the best success with were the personal ones. I mentioned specific landmarks in the city (more obscure than what you'd find on Google). I mentioned places where I could be found. I made the ad read like I was writing to the person who was reading it.

For example, I did this a lot when I lived in Durham, NC, and I ran a cellular accessories business from 2005-2009:

You're trying to get people interested enough to contact you, not enter the Federal Witness Relocation Program. Name your company and be proud of it!

-- j

I will keep those suggestions in mind. I do not want to make my company sound like a scam at all. It has an outstanding reputation and I do not want to be the one that gives them a bad name. With it being a home based business it is kinda hard to tell them where to find me cause I really do not want people coming to my home. Could I say I can meet you somewhere? Would that help?

I am not sure about putting money in the headline cause me personally that always is something that is cheesy so I do not even look at those ads...I know I am not everyone but you said to pretend it is me skimming.

Ok maybe Unlimited Earning potential? Or does that sound chessy?

hmmm maybe
Entrepreneurs Wanted!
Sales People Needed Now

Like you said I want to grab them by the eyeballs ...But trying to figure out how to do that is the tough part.

Thank you for your input I will study on that and see what I can come up with.

Sigh. I've been lurking around the forums for a week and I feel I had to register just to comment in this thread.

Maggie66, maybe you are not like most people, I don't think I'm like most people either. But the one truth that cannot be changed is that people are attracted to GOOD DEALS.

If you see something for $5 at a store when you know that another store sells the same product for a $20, wouldn't you be interested? Wouldn't you want to know why? Whether you actually buy it or not doesn't matter but it did get your attention didn't it?

I think that's what those guys are trying to say. Make something that appeals to the masses. I don't think it's really hard to think in other people's shoes. Start thinking like an entrepreneur who's thinking of investing their time and money.

Would this give profit?
Do I have to do anything?
How does it work?
What are the risks involved?
Is there an overhead price?
Are there any hidden prices?
Is this worth my time?
Is this worth my hard earned money?

Just keep asking yourself questions and answer them, when you have all the answers you can think of, make it neat and tidy. Compact it and make it appealing. When I say 'appealing' it means to highlight the aspects that will attract the viewers attention.

Here's some quick example for headlines:

Booming Company Investment with 300% ROI
Fast Growing Unique Business seeking for Leaders.
No-Risk with profit returns 101% Guarantee!

I know they may sound silly but they are not to be underestimated. The secret behind it is that people can't ignore bold opportunities, in their head they will always second guess themselves and think "What if this really true?"

Same principles behind Hitler's propaganda campaigns: "The bigger the lie, the more believable it is."

Now, I'm not saying you're going to lie but you just got to push out the words that makes it true. Let's examine the headline:

Fast Growing Unique Business seeking for Bright Leaders.

*If the company has gained people in a week, that's pretty fast.
*If your company has its own name, that makes it unique. Even better if you services that others don't.
*Most people like to think of themselves as leaders but this is more of subjective matter.

Why would it catch attention?
*Entreps are interested in small business with huge potential = Fast Growing
*Keeping it interesting yet vague perks their curiosity so they'll click to learn more. = Unique Business
*It sets up that this post is looking for quality not quantity = Bright Leaders

I hope this explains sort of explains a lot and I'm pretty sure there are people here who can write up way better headlines than I did but if you're still stuck on figuring out what to write maybe you can just hire a copywriter.

sorry for long post. peace out lol.

Ok so you all know that I have taken your recommendations and am trying to use them I will show you what I have come up with and maybe get some critiques...please

Example 2

Rapidly Expanding Company in Search of Entrepreneurs
15 Year old telecom leader has launched a new wireless division – backed by the nation’s largest most reliable wireless network and we are seeking motivated driven entrepreneurs to help lead our expansion in this area. Your earning potential and residual income are only limited by you.

There is a small investment to join our fantastic team. Everything is spelled out to you so you know what you are getting into before you join. There are no hidden fees for anything in our program. There is absolutely no risk that you will be left spinning your wheels. We have a wonderful support system that is there for you all the way to the top. I have the personal phone numbers of my top team leaders and even the VP of the company. We offer you 100% support from the day you join. You can talk to me personally and if I do not have the answers you need I will put you in touch with the people that have the answers.

Do be aware that you will have to work at this it is not a get rich quick scheme. You will be held to a high standard due to the company’s outstanding reputation. The company is able to bring better deals to the customers because it does not waste money on advertising. We work strictly from word of mouth that is why we want ethical hard working people that want to start their own business.

Please contact me at ....myemail...or call me at .....my phone number.... to find out more information or you can go my website .....mywebsite....



any other ideas...or would this work?

I do want to thank all of you for your help

Sorry but example 2, personally I would keep moving, nothing to make me stop first up.
Some great suggestions above, it can be very difficult, but again I would not look at that ad.

The forum has a Copywriting section which you can go poke around in for ideas, too.

Copywriting is not an easy skill to learn and nobody is going to write your copy for you; however, you can pick up tips by watching what the experts do and recommend.

Watch for The Copy Nazi, Mark Andrews, Ken_Caudill, Mark Pescetti and others (the kings will stand out to you after while, of course).