Please, Beat Me Senseless.

I watched the first 23 seconds, then turned it off. I have no idea what you are selling, offering, etc. Make it clear, and don't use business speak.

I agree with draede. There's a very standard way to deliver a message. It works for articles, speeches, books, you name it. It's simple:

Introduction (tell 'em what you're gonna tell 'em)
Body (tell 'em)
Conclusion (tell 'em you've told 'em)

The problem with your piece is it has no introduction. I didn't even watch 23 seconds because there was nothing I can relate to. One more thing. Don't toss acronyms around without first explaining what they mean. Tell your viewers that JV means joint venture right up front. Good luck.

Watched 1 minute 23 and had no idea what the video was about either.

Too many messages and not enough focus.

OK, so in the video, as I pitch to Angel and Venture capitalists, I address the stats first. I will change that.

The heart of what this new social media site does starts at about 1:30.

Thanks for the whippings.

The video is too long and kinda boring. Where is the glitz and glamor? Investors want to invest in something fun, exciting, cutting edge. A sexy woman's voice would do better than your monotone narration. And get rid of the cheesy stock photos, brighten up the colors a bit.

Also, you should address how you are going to target professionals, the Linkdn crowd, and how this helps against spammers and scamers in the industry.

Hope this helps.

Aside from the glamor that Christian said, I think everyone would agree with me that you need to go directly to the point. People are now only interested in your answer to their never-ending question, "What's in it for me?"

If I were your target customer, that would be my first question and I will only care to know about it. If I don't get an answer to that question within 10 to 30 seconds, there's an 80% probability that I'll close the video and move to the next.

Next, after answering that question, I need to get the steps on how will I achieve your promises to "What's in it for me?" If it's applicable to your product or service, I would need to know those steps.

I hope that helps my friend.

I think the video is poorly made, Fiverr gig?

Dude, you come here to ask for our opinion - not to counteract with explanations on this forum such as "It's in there. Watch from about 1:30"

If you are looking for advice, take it and use it wisely. It's futile for you to further try to explain something that you are asking advice on.

Is your true motive to get feedback or try to convince us and sell us on something??

Best of luck.

An advice: Keep it simple.

Good luck!

I can tell you honestly that I could give a damn what anyone else says about anything on this forum if I disagree with it. I'm definitely not a follower and if I have a different opinion, I give it.

This is probably the first time I agree completely with everyone. This video is a confusing MESS.

Take the advice of Frank Kern (love him or hate him, I don't care [actually, Frank got this from John Carlton]:

"Tell them what you got"
"Tell them what it will do for them"
"Tell them what to do next"

It's not clear what you got.

I really have no idea (and I watched it to the end) what it will do for me (like I said, it's a jumbled MESS of blah, blah information).

What you want me to do next? I kinda get that one, but uh...you need what - 1 million? Well, I'll be seeing you...goodbye.

Very poor graphics, looks cheap.. Sorry, you asked for unfiltered feedback.

draede is KIND of right. But your video is based on a lot of false premises!!!!!!!

1. Most that know will NOT use Google for this! So that is pretty worthless.
2. There ARE "social media" sites made for this. Linkedin is one.
3. Key words DO NOT WORK!!!! if it were as simple as you seem to claim, we would have reached perfection like 15 years ago.
4. Such free communication DOES lead to spam! Linkedin limits it based on affiliations, rules, payment, etc....

And the whole way your video looks, etc.... is just going to turn people off.

BTW this is a paradox! The ONLY way to properly give access to everyone is to deny access to everyone to everyone ELSE! The more you deviate from that, the less access anyone gets to anyone else. Sorry, but it is TRUE! THAT is why TV programs and radio shows and forums, etc... allow only ONE person to talk! It is why spam is so hated and problematic.

Everyone sees email and figures "WOW, if I get everyone's address, I can communicate with everyone in the WORLD!!!!" Well YEAH, that is RIGHT as long as 1. you are the ONLY one with that idea! and 2. You don't alienate people by denying them access to others. too bad that they are both pipedreams!

Steve

Read Venture Deals... it's great and will help you a ton

Now a days people have a short attention span. What demographics have you researched? Target market and Trends? Seasonal vs. evergreen? You could make this available to many different consumers. Congratulations! YOU TOOK ACTION!

+1 for not knowing what your selling and even with you here explaining it I still don't know what your selling. Some kind of social network where people sign up to get pitched products or ads? Hopefully I read that wrong because that is a terrible idea.