Finished my first landing page could use feedback please!

So this will be a risk free trial? Or will you be collecting opt-ins with your lander?

Anyway, as you mentioned, I would try changing the background color or put a picture instead. Try a nice-looking subtle picture that won't grab their attention from the main message.

If there will be any kind of a thank you page, you can split-test with Google Website Optimizer to get higher conversion rates.

- Trev

I felt that you could really use a better font. This current font feels 'cheap' and not professional at all. I think you should also find a better background picture. The current one is heavily pixelated and once again that is not professional at all. Maybe you should feature a full face instead of just the teeth for the demo pics as they look kinda creepy by just focusing on that area.

I believe graphics play an important role here because you need to convince people to actually grab the flyer home, and type the url out on their computer for the offer. It has to look good and professional enough to make them do that, otherwise they would just ignore your flyer if it looks cheap.

I'm giving my point of views AS a consumer and that's how I feel if I were to be approached by such offers

Overall looks decent and here are some suggestions to improve:

1) Find someone on fiverr.com to create an eye popping banner. The current one is a little plain.

2) The text "For a limited time only.." is hard to read against the background. Use a different color so it's easier to read. I'm only in my 40s and having a difficult time reading it. :-)

3) Put some copyright, TOS, privacy policy links in the footer. I am very wary of sites that do not contain that basic information.

4) Get a QR code for the flyer and use that too. That way you can appeal to the more technically inclined (and lazy) amongst the population.

Good luck.

Excellent guys couldn't agree anymore!

Some very useful tips in here and I plan on using all of them. And about the letters there IS definitely something "cheap" going on but it seems that I get that effect no matter what font I use. For some reason I just think photoshop isn't that good for doing letter work cause anytime I use publisher for letters they just look so much clearer and precise. Or maybe I'm picking fonts that naturally aren't sharp idk.

Either way something definitely looks cheap I think I may have to change a lot more around than I originally planned.

Ok well maybe Im harsh and sorry to break it but it sucks..

I dont believe it will convert. Your ideas are nice it doesn concentrate everything on the idea you want to sell and you could say the site is just plain and simple.

Try searching for some templates for landing pages (if something is already made why would you reinvent the wheel?) and go from there.

Try spending 5$ on fiverr for someone to do the gfx maybe ?

Ok well maybe Im harsh and sorry to break it but it sucks..

I dont believe it will convert. Your ideas are nice it doesn concentrate everything on the idea you want to sell and you could say the site is just plain and simple.

Try searching for some templates for landing pages (if something is already made why would you reinvent the wheel?) and go from there.

Try spending 5$ on fiverr for someone to do the gfx maybe ?

Hey Red,

I agree with the comments here that other members are providing. I really like the QR code idea for the flyers

I could send you my PSD file if you need it. Let me know.

And as I said before, I'm really glad you are taking action.

Thanks guys I appreciate it a lot! And about it converting I am not doing online marketing for this offer its strictly offline so the landing page needs to be simple/basic.

About it sucking I don't think that criticism was because of it being simple I think it was because the graphics suck. I knew that when I was making it but all the alternate backgrounds I had were stretching too. So I wound up making a background from scrap with a pattern overlay and now it looks very clean and professional. I'm going to upload a new version soon and then thats it I'll be going out tommorow.

What I do know is Frankies landing page was also simple but it worked so it has to be the graphics turning people off rather than the basic format.

edit: I put the new one up then realized something is going on because it looks great in photoshop & dreamweaver but its getting stretched as I upload it to the site. So if you look at it now the entire thing will still look pixelated. I'm going to shrink everything down small so I get my high resolution back and will likely do a few more hours work on this later. It does definitely look wrong and I may wind up just grabbing frankies PSD and editing that directly. All the letters are stretched and its just not reading clear and precise + the whole thing is too large. I've been working on this page now for 3 days can't believe its still not the way I want it lol.

"Limited only" part kills my eyes. Other than that it's a damn fine effort considering it's your first try. Mine was a disaster.

/\ Thanks a lot I appreciate it.

I actually did a lot more touch up work today and its FINALLY how I hoped. Just gotta edit a couple tags but this is the layout I'm sticking with.

Now tommorow I am PROMOTING THE HELL out of this landing page. Mostly offline I'm using both targeted locations and nontargeted locations just to get out as large a volume as possible.

heres the finished version-

Untitled Document

Everything is about as clear as its gonna get so thats it I've wasted wayy too much time as it is on this page.

I would make it easy on yourself and consider getting a pro to design the template for you. You'll save a load of time and be making money quicker than if you keep trying to sort it yourself. I also think you could find better before and after pictures. The "before" doesn't look too bad and her smile is arguably nicer in that one. Also love the QR idea.

I think its a great start Redshifted there are also good points in the feedback

is it a landing page or flyer?
I am little bid confuse because reference provided by you is related to flyer and you are talking about landing page.

Its both. The flyers I did not show but I also put a lot of time into those too. The flyers are to lead people to the landing page as I'm promoting offline.