Did The Warrior Group Shit Its Way To Success?

Reported many years ago, on the old forum:

Allen Says once dropped a clanger when he revealed to the Group that he always conjures up his best ideas and concepts while sitting on the toilet!

He was subsequently taken aback by the sheer avalanche of Group members who claimed to have the same experiences and promptly instructed the Warrior R&D Department to investigate the matter further.

While some old-timers complained that they had to conclude their business fast in their outhouses for fear of spiders, snakes, and flies, most had modern, warm, and safe indoor facilities in which they could take their time.

It required only cursory investigations by the R&D people to get to the heart of the matter. In a discovery that Says himself called an “astonishing breakthrough”, it seems that the reason so many Warriors were developing killer ideas while “dropping the kids off at the pool” (as one Senior Member so eloquently phrased it) was simple:

Your mind would prefer not to concentrate on what you’re doing while on the toilet and so you develop a “far-away” look – the blank stare that people exhibit while concentrating intently. And it seems that blank stare is a direct connection to the subconscious itself. You enter a state of intense concentration because your mind is on nothing else and no one is bothering you. You start imagining all kinds of things: new books, systems, plans, ideas . . .

Laugh, if you will, but it was a profound revelation and one that hasn’t gone unnoticed. Since it was discovered in March of 2003, Warrior productivity has exploded like never before.

In the immediate aftermath alone, flurries of ideas were developed to help facilitate the widespread adoption of this extraordinarily powerful technique. Ideas like the “Lazy Boy O Boy!” a part recliner, part commode hybrid, an anti-deep vein thrombosis technique for those who spend extended periods using the technique, and even new super-hygienic coffee-makers designed for in-bathroom use!

Many Warriors have subsequently built extra rooms onto their homes that look and feel like bathrooms from which to conduct their business.

The only serious point of contention reached was the best means to record the ideas developed using the technique: While notebooks are the obvious choice, audio recorders were actually the strong favourite.

However, one Senior Warrior objected on the grounds that his wife would become suspicious about exactly who he was talking to!

The issue remains unresolved.