Critique request: book title + subtitle

by vaidab
11 replies
Hi all,
I'm in the process of writing my second book and I'd appreciate your feedback for the title and subtitle:

1) Apply the 4 DISC Personality Profiles
In leadership, sales, relationships and your own self!

2) DISCover your strengths and tackle your weaknesses
Using the 4 DISC Personality Profiles

3) Boost your strengths and tackle your weaknesses
In leadership, sales, relationships and your own self!

4) Personality Boost
Develop your strengths and tackle your weaknesses using a world renowned behavior test

Which one do you prefer? If you have other ideas I'd appreciate an explanation on why the new idea is better .. I'm new to copywriting and wish to learn.
#book #copywriting #critique #request #subtitle #title
  • Profile picture of the author Cam Connor
    I like #2 personally, given those 4 options only...
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  • Profile picture of the author tdanz
    IMO it depends whether your readers know the meaning of "DISC".
    If they have no idea (like me) then I would go with #4.
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  • Profile picture of the author Cam Connor
    Good call. Good call. I'm going to agree with your reasoning in this scenario. Well played, and I'm going to thank that post.
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  • Profile picture of the author vaidab
    Thank you for your answers. Should I rephrase it to include DISC (to also get the people that know the test?)

    a)
    Personality Boost
    Develop your strengths and tackle your weaknesses using a world renowned behavior test

    or

    b)
    Personality Boost
    Develop your strengths and tackle your weaknesses using DISC, a world renowned behavior test

    What do you say?
    Also .. any ideas on how to improve the title?
    Signature

    "I teach students how to become their own teachers!" - www.vaidabogdan.com

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    • Profile picture of the author Cam Connor
      Originally Posted by vaidab View Post

      Thank you for your answers. Should I rephrase it to include DISC (to also get the people that know the test?)

      a)
      Personality Boost
      Develop your strengths and tackle your weaknesses using a world renowned behavior test

      or

      b)
      Personality Boost
      Develop your strengths and tackle your weaknesses using DISC, a world renowned behavior test

      What do you say?
      Also .. any ideas on how to improve the title?
      Who's your target market? Are the vast majority of them going to already know what DISC means? I don't know that, you probably do. If the answer's yes, go head and include it. If it's no, I'd maybe only put it in the sub-title if it's key to the book's content.

      Hope that helps.
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    • Profile picture of the author GforceSage
      Originally Posted by vaidab View Post

      Thank you for your answers. Should I rephrase it to include DISC (to also get the people that know the test?)

      a)
      Personality Boost
      Develop your strengths and tackle your weaknesses using a world renowned behavior test

      or

      b)
      Personality Boost
      Develop your strengths and tackle your weaknesses using DISC, a world renowned behavior test

      What do you say?
      Also .. any ideas on how to improve the title?

      Now that we know what DISC is, I think Choice B is a good one. You have a title that is not overly generic and have informed the potential reader that a known test will be used in the process. People are often curious to see how they rank on such a test. The "Boost" would have to be how you hope to help those who score low in certain areas of the mentioned test.
      Best of Luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author tdanz
    Yes b) makes sense in this case.
    Perhaps you could add some hypnotic phrases like "Unleash your potential".
    Here could be some inspiration.
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  • Profile picture of the author vaidab
    Thank you for the ideas all.
    The unleash your potential is already used as a book name (it would have been great) but I'll check the link for other ideas.
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    "I teach students how to become their own teachers!" - www.vaidabogdan.com

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  • Profile picture of the author italk
    Subtitles are good - and they go well with
    your current titles.

    BUT...

    Sorry to be "that" guy. I found all the
    titles extremely generic.

    It probably has to do with me reading lots
    and lots of ads.

    If I were you, I would take all the
    generic terms out and replace them
    with something more powerful.

    I'd also "future pace" my title.

    "Personality Boost" can be something
    like this: "Personality Redefined"

    (Can prefix "your" if that's your thing)

    Even the word "breakthrough" would
    fit in perfectly: Your Personality Breakthrough.

    In the "Apply the 4 DISC Personality
    Profiles" you can replace "apply the"
    with "magical" or "master."

    The one I don't like has to be the #3.

    It tells me how to boost my strength
    and tackle my weakness. How do you
    really know me... or my weaknesses? :-)

    Presupposition is good, but it can be
    dangerous as well. This is one perfect
    example that you assumed something
    extreme about your readers.
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  • Profile picture of the author vaidab
    Thank you all
    Signature

    "I teach students how to become their own teachers!" - www.vaidabogdan.com

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  • Profile picture of the author pewpewpewmonkeys
    You know where I would go to get some targeted inspiration for this sort of thing?

    FedEx.

    I spent a lot of time in FedEx this past month. They always have a shelf of overly priced books that revolve around business, leadership, self improvement, management, etc. They also have limited space and need to make the biggest bang for the buck so you can bet that the books there sell better than others. When you're waiting in line for 15-30 minutes and bored out of your mind you'll look at anything for entrainment... and those books easily catch the eye. Every single one of them makes you want to pick them up and at least look to see what they're about. Which is the REAL purpose of a title.

    Your titles... I'd never pick up that book. And neither would bored customers standing in line.
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    Some cause-oriented hackers recently hacked one of my websites. So I researched what they're about and then donated a large sum of money to the entity they hate the most.

    The next time they hack one of my websites I'm going to donate DOUBLE.
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