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Landing Page Critique

by Lawdof009
12 replies
Hey Warriors,

I finally broke down and bought InstaBuilder 2.0 and a domain for creating landing pages. So far I am very pleased and excited about the program.

I created and launched my first landing page promoting a paleo diet cookbook and was hoping to get your feedback on it.

http://cleanliving.info/

Does it look alright? Any tips or suggestions that might help it convert better?
#critique #landing #page
  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    I would make the bullet points next to the image of the book
    a little more evident. Right now the page is graphic heavy
    and text light. You still need words to sell.

    -Ray Edwards
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  • Profile picture of the author SMworkcafe
    Originally Posted by Lawdof009 View Post

    Hey Warriors,

    I finally broke down and bought InstaBuilder 2.0 and a domain for creating landing pages. So far I am very pleased and excited about the program.

    I created and launched my first landing page promoting a paleo diet cookbook and was hoping to get your feedback on it.

    </title> <meta name="robots" content="index,follow"> <link rel="profile" href="http://gmpg.org/xfn/11" /> <link rel="pingback" href="http://cleanliving.info/xmlrpc.php" /> <link href="http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Allura|Architects+Daughter|

    Does it look alright? Any tips or suggestions that might help it convert better?
    Who is it for? What type of people?

    What can they find in this book which they cannot in a quick search?

    What makes this offer so tempting to make people buy it?
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    Cheers!

    - Sana.

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  • Profile picture of the author Rooso
    One link and that one wants my email address and I assume money after I give it to you. Even what I would think are links at the bottom don't work.

    Your date says 2014 but you just created the site. How can I know you are still in business and not just randomly sending someone $25?

    You need to make me want this book. All you say is that there are 370 recipes. I don't need that many and can probably find ones that interest me in a Google search.

    Talk to your visitor. Lure them in with your pitch. You have no pitch right now. Just a billboard.
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    <shameless self-promotion of my own website goes here>
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  • Profile picture of the author Gambino
    Viewed it on mobile. I like the design. Although I completely skipped over the part where you can buy a product because everything points to the learn more button.

    I agree with the others, it definitely needs more text and info. And I hate that I have to click 'learn more' just for an email subscription box to pop up. To me, learn more should be replaced with an email opt in or take you somewhere with more info like a longer, more descriptive landing page.

    Also, not a fan of .info domains.
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  • Profile picture of the author Tariqsal
    -The bullet points needs more bullet points. It looks plain.

    - Also why do you have points next to the book and separate bullet points still highlighting. It is like a continuation and feels weird to me. I think you should choose one or the other.

    - Just an idea, why not use this page to ONLY collect their emails and then sell the book in your follow ups? Because the "learn more" button outshines the price to me.

    Follow ups will probably convert better because you'll prove your credibility by sending a little bit of information. Before you sell the product.
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  • Profile picture of the author Highway55
    Nice design. I liked that right away. But I wouldn't try to sell from this page. Just get an opt-in - there is not enough on your page to make somebody part with $25. And to say that it's worth $39? How... you've given no real value, except to say there are 372 recipes (no examples as to what they are, or why they're perfect for your visitor)

    Below the fold I would add a few paragraphs outlining the problem - Why does somebody need the Paleo recipe book - are they overweight, can't lose weight, embarrassed about the way they look... do they feel anxiety when they have to dress up or go out in public, do they feel shamed by others...

    Then I would solve the problem by presenting your recipe book and framing it as the solution.

    Hope this helps.
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  • Profile picture of the author Copydog
    You have:

    "the Paleo Cookbook Everyone is talking about"

    But no testimonials.

    Some emotional adjectives would also spice up your copy.
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  • Profile picture of the author dmaster555
    Wording on that opt-in page is so inconsistent.

    First you call it cook book, the image says "recipe book" and then the opt-in is offering top 10 superfoods.
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  • Profile picture of the author TJoseph
    Address one major pain point that people who've either tried Paleo diets before or are experienced Paleo dieters have experienced.

    Dive a bit more on who you're looking to target and craft that major pain point in your headline.
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  • Profile picture of the author jamesperez
    Banned
    You can use free services which can be found in google.
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  • Profile picture of the author iamchrisgreen
    Am I seeing the right page? It looks really bare at the moment and I can't see the bullet points that people are talking about.
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  • Profile picture of the author Bill Essley
    I also think you need more text. Play around with different text colors bolding and unbolding. I wouuld also like to see a bigger e-cover Thanks -Bill
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    Bill Essley ----->

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