Please critique my telesales script/copy; Work in SF at tech startup
Brand new here. Copywriting seems like the appropriate forum since my script is based off of copywriting techniques/ideas.
I work at a tech startup in SF SOMA doing inside sales. I'm conducting my own A/B test. The A script is much more direct, vague, and about closing them on the spot. I'm trying a more indirect approach and measure appointments, activation, and paying clients vs A script
The goal here is to either: 1) schedule a time for an appointment to do a tutorial 2) do one on the spot.
Me: Hi my name is Anthony. I need to speak with ______________.
Me: I’m calling on behalf of your current account with _______________. You’re familiar, yes. (I realize it's a question, but I'm saying as a statement)
Them: Yes
Me: I’m reaching out to catch you up to speed. __________ just launched a new online product and I just need to show you how to access your information. This isn’t for every business and I don’t want to waste your time, so let’s see if your business is a good one for it real quick, ok.
Wait for a yes/okay
Me: You’re interested in growing and tracking your business, correct. (? made into a statement)
Them: Yes or No
Me: You have internet access at your business, correct. (same question as statement stuff)
Them: Yes or No
Me: Great, the website gives you access to account activity that you don’t currently have from ___________. I only have about 15 minutes before I have to get another client access. When would be a good time to get you access?
The goal is to get them to say yes 3 times and disqualify folks so as to not waste my or their time.
What do you guys think?
I work at a tech startup in SF SOMA doing inside sales. I'm conducting my own A/B test. The A script is much more direct, vague, and about closing them on the spot. I'm trying a more indirect approach and measure appointments, activation, and paying clients vs A script
The goal here is to either: 1) schedule a time for an appointment to do a tutorial 2) do one on the spot.
Me: Hi my name is Anthony. I need to speak with ______________.
Me: I’m calling on behalf of your current account with _______________. You’re familiar, yes. (I realize it's a question, but I'm saying as a statement)
Them: Yes
Me: I’m reaching out to catch you up to speed. __________ just launched a new online product and I just need to show you how to access your information. This isn’t for every business and I don’t want to waste your time, so let’s see if your business is a good one for it real quick, ok.
Wait for a yes/okay
Me: You’re interested in growing and tracking your business, correct. (? made into a statement)
Them: Yes or No
Me: You have internet access at your business, correct. (same question as statement stuff)
Them: Yes or No
Me: Great, the website gives you access to account activity that you don’t currently have from ___________. I only have about 15 minutes before I have to get another client access. When would be a good time to get you access?
The goal is to get them to say yes 3 times and disqualify folks so as to not waste my or their time.
What do you guys think?