Critique My Flyer Copy

One problem with the headline - on a quick glance - it might seem like a police message. To help solve a real life crime (never expect people to read all the copy).

So providing your game does have lots of similarities aim it directly at the target audience...

Cluedo fans.

I would (providing it's ok © wise ) have a pic or graphics of the box and some of the characters with copy mentioning the favourite aspects of the game.

All positioned outside on "location" to create the theme.

With a headline that calls out - Do You Love Cluedo. If So We Have Got The Best News Ever...

And talking of games what is the one thing you need?

A prize for the winner.

Somehow you need to award this.

It doesn't have to be expensive just meaningful for the players.

Maybe they could choose a very collectable mug, keyring, calculator, fridge magnet or screensaver with Miss Scarlett, Professor Plum, Mrs Peacock, Reverend Green, Colonel Mustard or Mrs White on it.

And it wouldn't do any harm to offer another discount to play again. And incentives to refer others to play.


Steve


P.S. Remember your Flyer has 2 sides - don't leave all that valuable real estate blank.

You could use it to remind people how enjoyable Cluedo is. Give a bit of "history" about it. And more detail on how you've made it work so well outdoors. With a couple of raving testimonials from delighted players who had such a great time playing it.


P.P.S. You mentioned putting Flyers in hundreds of hotels and guest houses i.e 1000's of Flyers - please don't gamble with one Flyer.Test 2 or 3 (with different tracking "codes") and you'll see which one pulls the highest response.

They'll probably be stacks of Flyers so make yours look different - maybe shaped like a magnifying glass, a question mark, a card from the game, or some kind of "clue"

There might not be enough Cluedo enthusiasts - so you need one Flyer that features the fun and benefits of the game without sounding like a possible police message.

Having last week been to my first ever murder mystery night, and having thoroughly enjoyed it, your product sounds very interesting and I bet it's great fun too.

However, most people are probably like me, I didn't have any idea what a murder mystery night would be like, and I didn't think I'd enjoy it, so I think what you need to do is:

1) Show people exactly what the event will be like - e.g. a video showcasing how it pans out. Obviously you can't do that in a flyer but I think that will sell it well for you if you putit online.
2) Show people having great fun doing it.

What you're doing also reminds me a bit of "locked in" which I also did earlier in the year, that was very good as well.

Anyone who likes puzzles and/or detective stories will love it, it's just getting that message across in my humble opinion.

I really like this.

You've got lots of information in there as well as an atractive special offer and CTA.

I grew up in Milton Keynes so I can see how this would be a great event in the area!

One thing I would change to make it a little clearer is the first quote ("What a fantastic way to explore new places") perhaps change that to be a bit more descriptive about the activity, you could even swap that and the 'Cluedo' quote around. To me, that would just be a bit more descriptive for people who had just stumbled across the site and didn't know what it was all about.

Good stuff, I hope it all goes well!