critique my lead page

For me everything looks quite nice.

I am not expert, but maybe having your photo as an expert would help conversions?

What is your conversion rate?

i honestly dont have the data set up to answer that.

it all started with an idea but the ins and outs of IM have me dragging my feet. i dont have all my tools in place to answer conversion rates yet. in order to get conversion rates, i need traffic....in order to get traffic i need to spend more time or more money in driving the traffic...before i spend the money to drive the traffic, i want to make sure it looks appealing to people who have done lead pages in the past...

i have my facebook page and before this week is out i am running promos for FB likes and Website promotions.

The page looks good but I would consider adding a short video around 2 minutes long or under that explains exactly what you are offering.

Hi Roscoe, I just reviewed your landing page ... and I like it. You have the most important info up big and people can sign up straight away or scroll down to get a bit more info. You got a phone number making your site look more legit.
On mobile, the distance between the second block (grey background) and the third block (Blue background) is too wide.
Personally I'd prefer to have the main headline on a more neutral dark background - I'd move the image of the cellphone to the left or right. Just my taste, makes the headline stand out more and easier to read.

I'd use an exit pop to try and capture more leads.

I'd also use some redirect on opt in to get people to a page where they learn more about your offer at once. A video where you explain the thing in a bit more detail. For instance. Get them engaged and eager to start. Presell them - outline the advantages, make the hungry for your offer. Show them how easy it is to make money with this.

I'd not put the video on the landing page directly, better to have a simple landing page that gets you opt ins and then give out more info. Don't overwhelm people, keep landings simple. You got that.

Change the title tags on the page put the company name last " <keywords> | Company Name"

Add a Meta Description tag.

You're H1 tag keywords is not in alignment with you title tag keywords "line them up" and then use those keywords a few more times.

alt="image" is not the description you want to use for alt tags.

Think SEO when you design the page.

I like it Roscoe,

What I would add as a big bump in your conversion rates, is a redirect as soon as they opt in. Either to a thank you page explaining that you'll be in touch, some more info on the product (some subheadings with a small paragraph in each).

Another suggestion might be to offer something for free in exchange for their email. possibly a small part of your audio course to entice their appetite to buy the rest of your products? A lot of good lead magnets do this. Because once you have their email, you have complete access to a prospect. You can send further follow-ups, offers etc.

Good job on the lead page, here are some things that I would do:

1. Remove some white space if possible, make it look a little more compact
2. Use appealing fonts
3. Add links to privacy policy and disclaimer in footer

Cheers,
Zuberr

The site is nice but there is no strong call to action to get an email address, eg a video or a decent headline.

If this is for the MMO niche then it needs to be something like..."How I made $1999 using text message"

Don't like it.

Who is it for? How do they get to your site?

Why would they believe that you can deliver what you promise?

Plus: the first thing I noticed was "enter your email" and said No. Then noticed the text above that explained why I should enter my email.

Plus "Cellwerds enables a system that will generate a recurring revenue stream with passive efforts." is a really odd sentence that hints at things; doesn't state clearly.

Plus, where's the YOU in your stuff. By YOU, I mean the prospect.

Cellwers enables you to generate a stream of income without you working your ass off, appeals to me.

Cellwers enables the generating of streams of incomes that require no hard word, does not appeal to me.

Because it's general, not about me. Yes, it's a stupid 'you' but it makes a difference.

This comes too late, in letters that are too small:
Cellwerds will explain. Cellwerds will direct. Cellwerds will watch. YOU will earn.

That I like. (Assuming I believe that Cellwerds can do.).

So, me, I'd start with
Something that screams this is an offer to create a passive stream of income

then, I'd follow up with how (and how easy it is)

and, on the side, instead of the big cell phone with stats, I'd have testimonials and/or other trust building thingies.

By the way,

The mobile phone with the stats makes me think that you're trying to convince people that mobile phone income systems are viable. I'd skip those people and address my offer to people who're already convinced of it, have decided that they want such a system, they just don't know which system to acquire.

Really you are asking all the wrong people to review your page. Unless the people responding to this thread are in the market for a MMO they have no idea what should be on the page.

What drives people to take action is an emotional push (their pain), give them a reason to opt in that helps them solve their problem, and yes - you have to point out their problems of being broke.

Hit their emotional triggers on the opt in page letting them know you have a solution waiting on the other side. Once they opt in, now you can fill them in on your solution.

Most of the time ugly landing pages will far outperform pretty ones, and when you go to split test, test the stuff that screams, not whispers... IE headlines, subheads, video, no video. The people telling you to change colors or move an image 2 inches left or right are wasting your time.

Hope this helps

Later

Shawn Andrew Walker

The first issue is believability and proof. Your headline says... work two hours a day and earn $3500 each month sending text messages. Than asks for an email address.

No where after that does it show me any information to what your claiming is true through testimonials or bank statements or anything.

Through out your page you continue to make claims and ask for an email address with no proof of anything or any real reason for anyone to give you their email address except you are giving them a free guide.

It may be a "Free Guide" but you still have to sell it like you are giving away some secret you've discovered in text message marketing and you just can't wait to share your new secret you discovered with people and it's limited to the first 250 people that enter their email address.

Throw in some curiosity for a reason they should get your free guide. People love to get things when there is curiosity involved.

Bill


.

I don't think anyone answered you about the exit pop.

It's when you try to leave a page and when you close the tab or go to close the tab a pop up comes up. You have properly seen one on a sales page before.