Copy critique needed

by Theodosios 2 replies
Hi Everyone,

Could I please ask you to have a look at my site, and specifically, the copy?

I plan to add an op-in section for my free report soon. the site appealing, is the message and benefits clear, etc?

I'm new to copywriting as you will see. I'm vague and wordy by nature, so I tried to clean that up.

Any feedback is greatly appreciated!

Thanks a lot,

#copywriting #critique #needed #website
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  • Profile picture of the author SARubin
    Hi Theodosios,

    I like what you're doing. I'm a big fan of self improvement.

    It looks like you're off to a good start.

    One thing I noticed right away. About 1/3 of the way down, when you start to list your bullet points they could use a little space between each point. A lot of people skim a webpage before reading the whole thing, and if it looks like too much work, they might just click away. Right now it looks like this...
    1. Completely retrain how you think, react and behave:
    • My 2 simple breathing methods, to dramatically reduce your stress and anxietyin just minutes per day!
    • My standing mindful posture to develop a grounded calmness, even in times of chaosin just minutes per day!
    • My super simple mindful action practices the REAL secret to living mindfully joyful in the present at all times!
    • A simple tweak to see everything with a renewed sense of curiosity and wonder!
    • How to reconnect withyour core valuesscientifically PROVEN to increase your well-being and sense of meaning!
    • Everything about self-confidence and self-imagecan backfireand how a simple shift in perception will correct it!
    2. Completely retrain how you live in your environment:
    • How to free yourself from the destructive effects of our competitive and status-seeking society.
    • How to completely change how you perceive eventsto radically reduce your anxiety, worry and sense of value.
    • The ONE essential habit that can help you combat anxiety and depression. Hint: its NOT therapy or anti-depressants.
    • How to stop the crazy amount of information from destroying your focus, communications and empathy!
    • Why having too much Choice (paradoxically) makes you more anxious and dissatisfied with the choices you DO make!
    • How to control your Clutter which is really a mindset of scarcity and attachmentaffecting every area of your life!
    3. Completely retrain how you connect with others:
    • How to completely eliminate the harmful delusion of statusby practicing the healthy, empowering way of Humility.
    • Why without Forgiveness, true mindful joy is impossibleand why you must practice something else criticalfirst.
    • How to live with the joyful, spontaneous quality of Gratitude free of the bonds of conditions.
    • Why over-thinking can prevent you from building real connections with others!
    • Develop a healthy, calming outlook of Impermanencethe opposite of which, causes much needless suffering.
    The ones down by the picture of your program are pretty close together, also.

    There's a couple other things I noticed. But I haven't really read your entire page yet. So far I just skimmed it and figured I'd offer you that little bit of advice to start.

    Just out of curiosity, are you targeting a particular market? (age group, gender,
    income?) because if you are, then we may also want to personalize your copy towards that market.

    "It all boils down to psychology, and numbers"
    SARubin - Direct Response Copywriter / Advertising and Marketing Aficionado
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  • Profile picture of the author Dolives
    Website needs designing, too much scrolling for content on single page does not work fine, different content pages too be made, Payment or Contact page different, Books(s) View different, About You next page, Testimonials/ Results page, etc. with other things as per your content/images.
    Your website needs good fresh layout as it deals with stress management, the content font should match with layout.
    Rest all you see on various other sites for your comparison
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