LET 'ER RIP! NEED YOUR CRITIQUE!

Okay lets start off. Lose the shirt, wear a real shirt with a tie or a suit. I dont trust a guy who looks like he just got back from hunting to tell me how to make money.

I agree with other dude, WAY to much highlighting

My first instinct is disbelief, you need to have a lot of proof and credibility established early on when you make big ass claims like this. The thousands of dollars claim is believable, living the life ive always dreamed of is pushing it, why should I believe you?

Its says you know it can work for me, how do you know I can start living the life ive always dreamed of?

Get rid of this, weakens the copy, slows it down. "If you want more out of your life I urge you to read this entire letter because I believe it could inspire you to take the necessary steps to drastically change your life in ways you only dream of now."

The story is good, you get a bit too promotional in the middle. I would say I think your price is to high for the quality of your copy. Maybe 39.95 would do it or $19.95 but $100 a month for a guy who makes thousands not millions and then interviews some people, I dono I just dont feel a strong enough desire to part with that much money every month.

If your going to go with that price point I think you need stronger copy. The overall copy is better than most peoples. Its just not good enough for $100 a month. There isnt enough credibility. I see no testimonials, no proof about what other people say about your product.

Your also not taking advantage of using the credibility of the people you interview to the fullest. Really play them up. The copy has a few good things going for it, passion, enthusiasm, a good story, but the rest needs to be tightened up. I dont feel like, if I dont buy this guys product i might not ever get rich. And your prospect needs to feel that before they buy. They need to feel the sword of damoclese ready to fall down on them if they dont buy, I just dont feel a strong urge to buy.

Its like, yes, its nice you did well but it sounds like you succeeded because of other peoples products not because of the product your selling. This would of been a vastly stronger piece of copy if the miracle product that changed your life was the one you were selling.

So, that is the main problem for me. Not enough desire, not enough proof your interviews are worth $100 a month, which is pretty pricey to me compared to products like John Reeses $40 a month subscription. And hes the million dollar man. You need to build more desire and have more proof as to the value of your product.

And paying $1200 a year to make thousands of dollars is not a good proposition. And it will not give me the life I want. I want to make hundreds of millions, why pay over $1000 a year for information on making thousands of dollars a year when I can purchase how to make millions of dollars a year from people who make millions for the same price?

I will say that toning it down makes the proposition believable. But I just dont see any real logical justification for purchasing your product. I dont see the ROI.