Sales Page Objections?

22 replies
I'm getting ready to launch a new product and would love to get your feedback on my sales page about the following:

1. Can you tell me your objections when you read everything above the fold.
2. Would you be inclined to read all the copy, or hit the back button.
3. Would you buy the product, if not why?
4. Other general thoughts on the copy..

The Sandbox Effect – How To Avoid The Google Sandbox!

Thanks for your valuable feedback...
#objections #page #sales
  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    Originally Posted by Wesley Atkins View Post

    I'm getting ready to launch a new product and would love to get your feedback on my sales page about the following:

    1. Can you tell me your objections when you read everything above the fold.
    2. Would you be inclined to read all the copy, or hit the back button.
    3. Would you buy the product, if not why?
    4. Other general thoughts on the copy..

    The Sandbox Effect - How To Avoid The Google Sandbox!

    Thanks for your valuable feedback...
    1. Think you might want to test using "How to Avoid the Google Sandbox" as the primary headline. Or maybe as a prehead.

    For anyone who has gone through the sandbox period, it is really aggravating. So you you nail benefit almost immediately.

    2. I read all of the copy.

    3. I would buy the product.

    4. I think the copy is pretty good. You might want to include a tip or two in terms of some of the ideas you'll be sharing. You don't have to give away the store.

    - Rick Duris
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    • Profile picture of the author Paul Hooper-Kelly
      Hi Wesley,

      That's a tremendous product you have, but I fear the headline doesn't do it justice.

      What about ...

      Frustrated watching your carefully optimized site disappear without trace? Then this is for YOU ...

      "Avoid The Mythical Google 'Sandbox' And Enjoy
      Lightening Fast Indexing And Authority Listings
      In JUST 56 Days GUARANTEED!"


      Read on to discover the vital secret the SEO experts aren't telling you ...


      Beyond that, I read the copy, was sold and will be standing by at 5.00 pm tomorrow to buy it.

      Warmest regards,

      Paul
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      If you want to learn the dark arts of copywriting to increase sales or set up a prestige business
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      • Profile picture of the author ARSuarez
        Wesley,

        Rick and Paul have given you some great ideas.

        I also encourage you to give a few good tips away. I mean, real solid content. The reason is like a taste test - a sampler.

        I did this recently with several yoga videos I wrote the copy for - we included a video excerpt, demonstrating a technique the reader could practice.

        Even if they don't do it, the fact you are willing to share the information adds to your credibility.

        Gene Schwartz did the same with his "Burn Fat Right Out Of Your Body, Using Nothing But The Palm Of Your Hand" ad. He included a technique.

        Dan Kennedy, Ben Settle - it's a very useful technique that endears your to the prospect.

        The headline could use some empowerment, but I think Paul hit that nail on the head already.

        All The Best,

        Angel
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  • Profile picture of the author Wesley Atkins
    Really appreciate your thoughts on this..

    I guess I am making things too hard..

    I seem to remember John Carlton say when writing copy you need to present it with..

    1. Here's what i've got
    2. Here's what it'll do for you
    3. Here's how to get it

    ...and with my headline im just shrouding the problem and presenting a mystery for which they need to read more to understand..

    Why do I always complicate things...

    Thanks guys, appreciate it..
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    • Profile picture of the author infoman66
      Pal, at the time of today's fast life, I do not have time to read half of your page until I come to your offers ....

      I think you should start at the very attractive advertising messages (picture + moto) and below to describe briefly why I need to ...
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      If you are looking for a ride to the airport or any other occasion Palm Beach limo can be your choice.

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  • Profile picture of the author MarkWidawer
    If I'm a novice marketer, and don't know what "sandboxed" means, then you've lost me one screen down. You explain it later, but it may be too late for some people.

    Maybe stressing the "common word at the heart of your struggle for google rankings" near the top of the page would help to get people to continue readers.

    You've got no value-build on your page. A value build helps the reader understand the costs of potentially trying other methods for getting links, hiring someone else to get links for him, or even for taking no action at all. Ultimately, it helps the reader understand what a great bargain your product is.

    I'm sure you could build up the value of your product to something over $17!

    Some of your graphics (your add to cart button, your signature) seem low-res and fuzzy. Take a look...it adds to distrust.

    One last thing I'll leave you with is...

    Don't believe a word I say...or that anyone else says.

    Instead, split test everything. You'll be much better off.

    --Mark Widawer

    p.s. If you want more feedback, try posting your page at Optimizers Club. It's a site I just put up to facilitate site critiques like the ones you're getting. URL is in my sig. Good luck!

    --M
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    --Mark Widawer
    Want more sales page critiques, headline suggestions, and optimization ideas from hundreds of marketing experts?
    www.OptimizersClub.com

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    • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
      Mark,

      I know you mean well by directing people to your website...

      ...but it's not the done thing on this forum.

      All the best,
      Ewen

      Originally Posted by MarkWidawer View Post


      p.s. If you want more feedback, try posting your page at Optimizers Club. It's a site I just put up to facilitate site critiques like the ones you're getting. URL is in my sig. Good luck!

      --M
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      • Profile picture of the author MarkWidawer
        Originally Posted by ewenmack View Post

        Mark,

        I know you mean well by directing people to your website...

        ...but it's not the done thing on this forum.

        All the best,
        Ewen
        Ewen,
        Just trying to be helpful! Even though I've been doing IM for a loooong time, it's my first time here at Warrior. Write me...You've got my addr. How'd your outsource project work out?
        -M
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        --Mark Widawer
        Want more sales page critiques, headline suggestions, and optimization ideas from hundreds of marketing experts?
        www.OptimizersClub.com

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        • Profile picture of the author Fahmod
          Hi Wesley,

          .. unfortunately, I'm becoming a bit "Sales Letter" Blind myself, so personally would click away almost instantly.

          With a theme of SEO, you would expect the people who hit your page have possibly spent already a lot of time researching that particular topic and must have seen hundreds of "One Page Sales Letters" on their journey to more success.

          So I wonder, are they as blind to these kind of Sales letters as I am?

          Personally, I don't like that PS, PPS, PPPS stuff at the end, it's getting a bit overdone.

          Just some thoughts I had looking at the page ...

          All the best and good luck!
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          • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
            Originally Posted by Fahmod View Post

            Personally, I don't like that PS, PPS, PPPS stuff at the end, it's getting a bit overdone.
            Yeah... the whole direct marketing thing is like a century old already.

            Time for something NEW... something unproven.

            To boldly go where no one has gone before...

            ..or not.

            Brian
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  • Profile picture of the author jtunkelo
    I'd break the actual store much, much earlier in the copy. Ideally, in the headline.

    That is, the aging filter and the story behind it, all that fascinating stuff you assume people don't know about. Open with that story. People think they've heard it all, so establish your credibility and engage their curiosity with what they don't yet know.

    Then you can get into the specifics, why it's important, what are the results of your method, and so on. Simple change, dramatic difference in how it will flow into the reader's mind.
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  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    Hey Mark!

    Good to see you here, pal.

    We should catch up soon on Skype.

    Best,

    Brian
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  • Profile picture of the author Bill Jeffels
    The PS, PPS, is a critical part of your sales letter.

    They should sum up the offer that your prospect is going to get , benefits, what problem that you're product is going to solve for your prospect and guarantee.

    No PS,PPS, you're losing all the people that scroll down to see what your offer is. And losing alot of money. Wesley, your PS is good.

    Bill Jeffels



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    • Profile picture of the author Fahmod
      Originally Posted by Bill Jeffels View Post

      The PS, PPS, is a critical part of your sales letter.

      They should sum up the offer that your prospect is going to get , benefits, what problem that you're product is going to solve for your prospect and guarantee.

      No PS,PPS, you're losing all the people that scroll down to see what your offer is. And losing alot of money. Wesley, your PS is good.

      Bill Jeffels



      .
      It's interesting to see the various different opinions on the PS, PPS ... ;-)

      Does anyone have any hard-proven statistics or studies on this?

      PPS .. .I would love to see that
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      • Profile picture of the author Bill Jeffels
        Originally Posted by Fahmod View Post

        It's interesting to see the various different opinions on the PS, PPS ... ;-)

        Does anyone have any hard-proven statistics or studies on this?

        PPS .. .I would love to see that

        " Professional sales letters contain a PS. Research has discovered that is what readers recall most, on average in a letter. That's because they look to see who has written to them.

        The PS should say something important-generally it should reemphasize the basic proposition of the offer and under line the need for urgency."
        --- Drayton Bird " How To Write Sales Letters That Sell "

        " Every sales letter needs a PS--- do not consider your efforts complete until you have composed one. The PS can make or break your letter! "
        -- Dan Kennedy " The Ultimate Sale Letter "
         
        " Always use a P.S. on every letter you write. If people scan a letter they will usually read the P.S if nothing else. The P.S. should re-emphasize the strongest benefits and restate your offer. "
        -- Ted Nicholas " Billion Dollar Copywriter "



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  • Profile picture of the author Wesley Atkins
    Thanks again everyone for your feedback. I'm split testing your suggestions now ;-)
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  • Profile picture of the author burnbebe
    I'd read the copy.
    I think that you should highlight the low price. At $17 here are the benefits you could get... then move this up ... before anybody loses interest.
    Great product.
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  • Profile picture of the author Matt MacPherson
    Found a small error:

    That’s why I want to let try out my proven SEO promotion strategies - completely and totally risk-free!…

    Should be a "you" in there.

    Cheers,
    Matt
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    https://edabit.com :: Learn to code with interactive challenges.
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  • Profile picture of the author MarkWidawer
    Hi Brian!
    Great to be here. I'm finding a LOT of old friends here.

    As for PS vs NO PS...

    ...SPLIT TEST THE DARN THING.

    It's generally well known that the PS is the second most often read piece of copy. Whether that's accurate or not, the point is that it is VERY OFTEN read. The question is whether it helps conversion or not.

    And that depends on what you say in your PS.

    So, do a split test, like maybe with Jim Stone's Split Test Accelerator (splittestfaster.com) or with Google's Website Optimizer (slow, but still effective). You'll know, without a doubt, whether it helps you or not.

    In another thread today, I wrote about the difference between "liking" something on a web page, and whether that thing works to actually help you sell more stuff.

    Clearly, whether you like it doesn't matter nearly as much. It's what works that counts.

    Go to this post and search for my name:
    /copywriting-forum/278206-sales-letter-vs-sales-video-who-will-conquor.html

    (I can't post a link yet. I guess I'm not trustworthy).

    I said it more eloquently over there.

    --Mark
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    --Mark Widawer
    Want more sales page critiques, headline suggestions, and optimization ideas from hundreds of marketing experts?
    www.OptimizersClub.com

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  • Profile picture of the author Matt MacPherson
    By the way, read the copy and I think it's good. I actually bought it!

    I agree with others who suggested changing the headline. At least split test a few headlines before settling on the current one.

    Cheers,
    Matt
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    https://edabit.com :: Learn to code with interactive challenges.
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  • Profile picture of the author Wesley Atkins
    Hey Matt, thanks for buying a copy of my book.

    Hope you liked it, would love to get your feedback on it...

    Cheers..
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  • Profile picture of the author MarkWidawer
    Matt,
    We're all waitin' to hear, man!
    ...How was the book?
    --Mark
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    --Mark Widawer
    Want more sales page critiques, headline suggestions, and optimization ideas from hundreds of marketing experts?
    www.OptimizersClub.com

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