Sales copy advice

15 years ago

Originally Posted by darkhazza

Hey, I've written a first pass of copy on my site.

cubetip.co.uk/cpaalert.php

Couple of questions, main one being obviously what do you think? I'm really pretty new to copywriting, and am mostly shooting at small mice dancing a salsa across the room in the dark with a blindfold on. Any pointers?

Second is, after I'd started developing the software I was advised it wasn't a useful idea. However you can't pull out of something once you've started it. How do you guys come up with great product ideas?

Thanks,

Harry

Regardless if you think it's a useful idea or not, you've already developed it and as long as your product does what your offer says it does you should still advertise the crap out of it and REAP the rewards of your hard work.

And as long as it's guaranteed to do what it's supposed to do, YOU ONLY can leverage your potential earnings with this software.

Sure if you built a list and you start offering more software in the future, and this one doesn't do well, you'll have to make a serious effort on your next one to redeem your relationship with your list.

I'd start out with a crazy guarantee, something to rivet your prospect into your offer/product.

From not reading more than the first 50 words, i'm not riveted to your offer.

If you want my help don't sleep on it. Respectfully, I'm just a very busy person lately.

Thanks

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copycashvalve

15 years ago

"The one day you don't run CPA Alert could be the day you lose hundreds of dollars or more in sales"

"Run" is a very weak action verb and is very boring.

If you don't ARM yourself with CPA Alert - etc. you see my point. I could transform you whole sales letter into a ocean of potential for you. I didn't even read past the first 50 words and see you desperately need some serious help with your copy.

Thanks

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Daniel Scott

15 years ago

You're a long, long way away from being at the point where we can help you with critiques.

My advice is get on Amazon, buy some copywriting books (check the sticky here), study the hell out of them and try again.

It's not an easy gig, and it does take a lot of work, but this may be your best option.

-Dan

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copycashvalve

15 years ago

You could buy a book and then find out you don't have the time or patients to read it.

OR

Use my secret formula that I can apply to your page and any sales page in under a couple hours, which I will go over with you and explain exactly what it is I'm doing.

I would say contact me but I'm still under 50 posts.

Thanks
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Daniel Scott

15 years ago

Originally Posted by copycashvalve

You could buy a book and then find out you don't have the time or patients to read it.

OR

Use my secret formula that I can apply to your page and any sales page in under a couple hours, which I will go over with you and explain exactly what it is I'm doing.

I would say contact me but I'm still under 50 posts.

Haha... thanks man.

Always good to find someone with a sense of humor around here.

-Dan

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copycashvalve 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Daniel Scott

Haha... thanks man.

Always good to find someone with a sense of humor around here.

-Dan

Hi Dan,

I went over your work, you've got really good copy! Hopefully someone can help this guy get that payday he is looking for.
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Aaron Riddell

15 years ago

Hi Harry,

I got a little lost with all the reading. Do you have a condensed version for those with a short attention span.

ps.
This may come in handy for your headline analysis

Advanced Marketing Institute - Headline Analyzer

Aaron Riddell

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darkhazza

15 years ago

Funny story is... I've read quite a lot of books on copywriting before I started, to give myself a good start. The unfunny story is it's not working so good 8| So not really sure where to go from here. The headline analyzer is an interesting idea. I appreciate that someone has scored other people's headlines in % terms.

Thanks
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copycashvalve

15 years ago

Originally Posted by darkhazza

Funny story is... I've read quite a lot of books on copywriting before I started, to give myself a good start. The unfunny story is it's not working so good 8| So not really sure where to go from here. The headline analyzer is an interesting idea. I appreciate that someone has scored other people's headlines in % terms.

Don't feel bad darkhazza. Frank Kern's copy converted at less than 1% before mass control, you have to give yourself some credit.

Let me know if you want to work something out. If your product is under 100$ I will turn around a converting sales page for you in just a couple hours of my work. Does at minimum 2% of your traffic converting sound good or does proving all of your naysayers wrong sound even better?

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Stephen Dean

15 years ago

Originally Posted by copycashvalve

Don't feel bad darkhazza. Frank Kern's copy converted at less than 1% before mass control, you have to give yourself some credit.

Let me know if you want to work something out. If your product is under 100$ I will turn around a converting sales page for you in just a couple hours of my work. Does at minimum 2% of your traffic converting sound good or does proving all of your naysayers wrong sound even better?

Please tell me this is a parody, because you are very funny.

Cheers,
Stephen

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copycashvalve 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Stephen Dean

Please tell me this is a parody, because you are very funny.

Cheers,
Stephen

Not so much, what's funny? Do explain.
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ARSuarez

15 years ago

Originally Posted by darkhazza

Funny story is... I've read quite a lot of books on copywriting before I started, to give myself a good start. The unfunny story is it's not working so good 8| So not really sure where to go from here. The headline analyzer is an interesting idea. I appreciate that someone has scored other people's headlines in % terms.

The books are a good start. I still re-read mine (I've got all the "necessary" books).

But, and this is an important but... They won't do it. The books fill your head with the know-how and the theory. However, they are still just books, still just information in your head.

You have to learn the practical applications.

I've said this a few times, but I would sit down and dissect some advertisements. When you 'see' everything you've read about in action, it really helps you move forward and improve.

Go to www.hardtofindads.com. Get some of Brian Keith Voiles, Gary Halbert, so on. Print out some ads and study them. I am not saying handwrite them. The handwritting each is good and should be done.

You need to study the flow. And studying the flow is hard to do when you're focused on copying the letters and words.

Judging by the copy on your website, you really don't understand how copy is suppose to move.

With the information you have in your head (if you've REALLY been reading these books intently), you'll be able to pick out where the writer is implementing the strategies.

"Wow, that's where he used credibility. And man, look at that hook! I bet he used that hook because this market has moved to this stage of awareness, and if he focused on this instead there would be issues with market place acceptance... Look how he uses the prime real estate of his PS's. And goddamn, look at the subtle way he plays off the theme throughout the whole copy!"

It's a good study. Helped me out a lot.

You don't have to be the best copywriter in the world to make a profit.

Best of luck,

Angel

Thanks

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Aaron Riddell

15 years ago

Originally Posted by darkhazza

Funny story is... I've read quite a lot of books on copywriting before I started, to give myself a good start. The unfunny story is it's not working so good 8| So not really sure where to go from here.

You could model yourself on what others are doing. My only comment on that approach is many others are doing exactly the same.

Is there a way you can insert your own "unique style" into your sales copy? Something that gets your message across, but brings across your USP.

Soldier on...

Aaron Riddell

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copycashvalve

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Aaron Riddell

You could model yourself on what others are doing. My only comment on that approach is many others are doing exactly the same.

Is there a way you can insert your own "unique style" into your sales copy? Something that gets your message across, but brings across your USP.

Soldier on...

Aaron Riddell

Now before anyone tries to jam their jelly down my throat here is what I think will work well with what Aaron pointed out. Some people say that 80% of your conversions comes from the offer itself and the rest is from your writing style, etc. Create an irresistible offer with a strong guarantee add three good bonuses relevant to your product (audio, visual, more software) combined with what Aaron said above and that will set you apart from basing your copy structure off of what is already working.

Again, take this with a grain of salt. I know a lot of gurus and master copywriters will get extra salty over me making such statements without reading 10 recommended books by Halbert first.

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FloridaKash 15 years ago

STOP LOSING OUT ON HUGE WALLET BURSTING COMMISSIONS DUE TO BROKEN OR EXPIRED AFFILIATE LINKS!

Thought I would take a stab at rewriting your headline for you. I too am new at this.
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copycashvalve

15 years ago

I do have a formula, Ken. It is amazing when you think unconventionally.

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copycashvalve

15 years ago

I remember hearing that before mass control Kerns conversion success was abysmal. Was that what you were referring to? Or my complete greenness in the copywriting field?

Thanks

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jtunkelo

15 years ago

You're spending about 2 screenfuls on aggravating the problem, and 1 screenful on solving the problem. In fact, even in the solving part you still talk about why the prospect needs the software.

So you're either selling the problem too hard, or it doesn't exist. Seeing as you've already done the the software for it, I'm guessing the former is true.

When you have something big to tell to your ideal prospect, just come out with it. Early, and with a bang. Don't make them hunt for it.

Thanks

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chapdaddy

15 years ago

Originally Posted by darkhazza

Second is, after I'd started developing the software I was advised it wasn't a useful idea. However you can't pull out of something once you've started it. How do you guys come up with great product ideas?

Market keyword research.

Find out what people are looking for on the googles and create a product for them to buy.

Thanks

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WickedWally

15 years ago

Looks like a legit software.

And I know of famous CPA marketers who complain about Expired Offers too.

So.

Good job.

Fix the graphics... get an eCover... Make your offer jump out of the page and most importantly... INCREASE THE PRICE.

Thanks

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Dean Jackson

15 years ago

Isn't there a rule against soliciting on the forum ?

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copycashvalve 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Dean Jackson

Isn't there a rule against soliciting on the forum ?

What do you mean?
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BrianMcLeod 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Dean Jackson

Isn't there a rule against soliciting on the forum ?

Sometimes the cruel whip of public ridicule is the best teacher...

Originally Posted by copycashvalve

What do you mean?

Nothing is ever a complete failure - it can always serve as a bad example.
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Brian McLeod

Direct Response Copywriting
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copycashvalve

15 years ago

...ah-ha moment.

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Sales copy advice

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