Critique of Copy Needed

6 replies
I have some copy that needs improving but I'm not sure where to start. I've touched it up a bit but it still needs a bit of work:

How to Get Traffic to Your Website PLR Report

Discover how To get Google rankings and a Ton of Website Traffic For Free- in the Time Span of One Month
.

Traffic is the critical life source of any site because without it your site ceases to exist. But you don't want just anyone and everyone coming to your site you want targeted traffic that will take your desired action. And you want to get that traffic for free.

Now getting 1000-2000 visitors in a month isn't as good as getting 10,000 visitors in a month but how would you feel if a quarter of those visitors signed up to your list? Or half of those targeted visitors signed up and a quarter bought your product or service? Wouldn't you have made more money than if you went after general traffic?

Targeted visitors can turn into long term customers, not here and gone visitors.

This is a method that I've been using for the past couple of years to get a steady flow of traffic to my sites. Here's a recent screen shot of Google Analytics statistics from one of my websites that shows how many visitors I'm getting everyday- and I haven't even started targeting traffic from other countries yet.

What would you do if you got 100 or more targeted visitors everyday? How would you utilize 1,000 or more targeted visitors to your site? Would your sales and sign-ups increase?

Whether you're new or experienced to internet marketing you know you need targeted traffic but you may not be sure how to get it or what the best ways to get targeted traffic are.

Here's a look at what's inside this step-by-step 12 page report:

-Find out two simple yet effective methods of getting traffic that most marketers know about but few are doing correctly.

-Discover the secrets of keyword research that will allow you to get traffic more effectively and it's not the way you think

-How to not get distracted by the hype around "trendy" traffics sources and focus on things that actually bring in consistent results

-Over 1000 websites that will give you 1,000 or more visitors- in a month

-The best places to get targeted traffic are revealed because you don't want to rely on Google and put your all eggs in one basket

Embarrassingly bad, I know.
#copy #critique #needed
  • Profile picture of the author 247Copywriter
    Originally Posted by Ehanson View Post

    Embarrassingly bad, I know.
    I'm glad you tacked that last comment onto the end.

    Yes it is.

    And if you knew that as someone who couldn't write a sales letter to save his bacon... why are you posting it up here asking for a critique?

    What do you think the answer is going to be?

    When you write a sales letter, try to put yourself into the mindset of your target buyers. Now, honestly, tell me, if you came across someone else with this kind of sales copy... would you buy the product?

    Would you buy into the 'pitch'? No, I thought not.

    Tell me, what would go though your mind? Would you think, "My goodness me, this sounds like a right crock of sh*te." Very highly likely or something along those veins.

    Why not try a different approach to this blinkin' old boring method?

    Why not try and weave a story into your pitch to make it unique and at the very least, a little bit interesting?

    Seriously, this looks like it's been copied and pasted from somewhere else or written out in precisely 5 minutes at most. Or simply spun using article spinning crap software.

    At least give the professional copywriters here a little bit of credit. Value their time. Value their input. Appreciate what they do. And put in some bloomin' effort!

    And stick a Please on the end of your thread title.

    It's more embarrassing for you, having the gall to post up something as bad as this to request a serious critique here.

    Do yourself a favor and go back, work on it properly and when you've got something 100x better in a weeks time... then come back and ask for a critique and you'll likely get a lot better responses.

    Believe it or not... I'm saying this for your own good.

    Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

    http://www.warriorforum.com/copywrit...-critique.html
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    • Profile picture of the author OutOfThisWord
      This is your headline...

      Discover how To get Google rankings and a Ton of Website Traffic For Free
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  • Profile picture of the author Collette
    Originally Posted by Ehanson View Post

    I have some copy that needs improving but I'm not sure where to start. ....

    Start by telling us what, and who, this copy is supposed to be used for. Sales letter? Squeeze? email? What?

    And are you talking to newbies? Intermediates? Article marketers? Who?
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  • Profile picture of the author ProfWriter
    The first step is always to write an outline. This is especially important if you aren't an experienced writer. You need to be clear, concise and organized. Or you could hire a writer to do it for you (shameless plug).
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  • Profile picture of the author Jake Gray
    Personally,

    I find this atrocious.

    Take 247Copywriter's advice. Make sure you read that checklist.

    To Your Success,
    Jake
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    • Profile picture of the author Ehanson
      Thanks all for taking time to give advice. I read 24/7's checklist, that list alone should lead to improvement over time.
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