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quick critique

by Devan Koshal
4 replies
quick critique please if you have time.

Double Your Conversions In The Next 4 Minutes

thanks
#critique #quick
  • Profile picture of the author Topgunb
    Hi,

    Difficult read, felt like I had seen it before. Include more white space.

    Check font size

    4 minutes - 6 minutes ???

    billet list add a line between

    Thats all for now.

    pm me if you want more

    Brian
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    swdcomputers@gmail.com For the best real deal in town!
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  • Profile picture of the author Captcha
    There are some spelling errors:

    Pretty adverage response...chances are he might just close it straight away.
    Also, I think on the second example it would be better if it was:

    Shhh! This offer is just for you, John!
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    Make Money Online ~ HQHow
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  • Profile picture of the author Bruce NewMedia
    Quick Critique
    just spelling/grammar issues for now:

    "Gaurenteed" (in headline)
    - "THE most eye opening and potentially profitable productS"
    "You wouldn't shot Hey YOU" ???
    "Potential Customers React HIGHLY to Personalization" ???
    "rarely you will learn" should be "rarely will you..."
    "recieve" should be receive
    "Subscriber In Your List" should be ON your list
    "big effect physiologically" don't you mean psychologically?

    ....and so on thruout the letter.

    Other issues would be NO PROOF, NO testimonials, No credentials of author.
    Conflicted Guarantee etc.

    It does sound like a good product despite all this. Hope this helps!
    ______
    Bruce
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    Get Offline Clients With NO Resistance!-CLICK HERE
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  • Profile picture of the author maximus242
    There is one reason why I didnt buy this product -- it did not tell me how much the conversion rate is going to be increased by.

    Oh and im skeptical a few minutes of google searching wont tell me how to do it myself and save me the $17 bucks
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    xResponsive Advertising Agency | Direct Marketing | Online Advertising | Create Breakthrough Campaigns for Your Business http://xresponsive.com

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