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These headlines are a big improvement on all of your previous ones.

I like this one out of all of them:

With the addition of the word "Too" in the 3rd line.

Hi Richard,

You're obviously not a rookie copywriter.

I like the 3rd headline best, because it's more specific (11.2%, 27 minutes) and the benefits are more clear (more conversion, faster).

Maybe it's just me, but I stumbled on the first part of the sentence though. Maybe something about the W's and the and H's... This one might be more readable:

Discover The PSYCHOLOGY Behind
Your Customer’s Decisions
So You Can Write Sales Letters
That Convert at Up to 11.2%
in Under 27 Minutes, Every Time.
(Even if You Flunked English at School)

By the way, where's that product? If you want advanced testimonials or something, I'm your man. Just email me at carljuneau@sixpackabsexercises.com.

Thanks,

Carl

There: I made it look good, because I like headlines that look good =)

Another vote for option three. I would tighten the language though - there's the slightest bit of fluff messing with the flow (i.e. "even if you flunked English at school". Where else would one have flunked English? The coffee shop? The grocery store?)

Good luck with the course.

Number 2 draws me in the most. very powerful.

I like: Discover The Science Behind Why Your Customers Do What They Do So You Can Write Sales Letters That Convert at Up to 11.2% in Under 27 Minutes, Every Time. (Even if You Flunked English at School) Because it gives actual numbers and specifics/facts in it. It uses that multiple of '7' that just seems to work for sum odd reason, and I like how you bring it full circle by telling the reader that anyone can do this (even if you flunked...) it peaks interest for sure. I'd continue to read on. 8-)

Good try at a hook, but psychology and science sound like work. Your target market is already overwhelmed, and now you want to add to their burden.

Still nothing there that differentiates your course from others, sorry to say.

VL

I like number 2....It has an interesting draw to it...

Actually, I don't think you should put the course out.

I can just imagine what your chapter on writing headlines is.

Since the headline is about 80 percent of profit...

I think you should pack it in and quit trying to pretend to be a copywriter.

My main question is: Are you for real?

You're doing a copywriting course and you can't even figure out a headline?

I'm a copywriter/marketer and have been for most of my life...people like you that are just looking to make a quick buck off of internet marketing...all I have to say is.....

You know if I could let it rip I would.

#3 for the win. It's states the value you prepare to bestow and sparks interest. Immediately when I read 11.2% and under 27 minutes I think about what that will do for my products. The previous two didn't really have anything to get my imagination going.

The last one attract me most, as its clearly shows about the result, which most sellers want from their sales letter. CONVERSIONS

My vote is for this one
You can also add a money back guarantee to this

I like them all but I must say that the first one brings out the curiosity in me. It almost made my hair stand up. Headline 3 comes in a close second. Again, it is something about knowing what your customers are thing that makes you feel like you have an edge on your competition. And who doesn't want an edge?

Hi Richard,
Here is a rework for the headline

Easily Learn"PsychoProfits"Proven Psychology Triggers and Be Able To Write In Only 27 Minutes - Successful- High Converting (11.2%) Sales letters


Attached is some follow up copy that you might consider to go with the headline.

Best, John

I will go with number three also. It tells me what you are selling and gives specific benefits. I would leave out the 'flunking English' line.

Hello,

I like the number 2 and last one those are great....

LOL I take your point. I wanted to stress that it's a very easy-to-understand course with lots of examples etc. so beginners and the inexperienced can also get a lot out of it. Please tell me your thoughts or give another example

I found the first 2 to be uninteresting and the 3rd to be very unbelievable.

Clayton Makepeace, the highest paid copywriter in the world, is thrilled with a 4% conversion rate and your talking about 11% conversion like they can be whipped up anytime you choose. Perhaps for red hot buyer lists or small markets yes, but I am very skeptical about the feasability of this without autoresponder sequences or a strong existing relationship.

Quite simply I dont believe your headline

While its perfectly possible to get 11% and higher conversion rates online, especially with a strong offer to a targetted market - this often has less to do with copy and more to do with other factors. So I am skeptical when I hear this and think, theres probably a lot more than just the copy that is driving those kinds of numbers.

For example I was able to get conversion rates of 5% quite easily in some markets not because the copy was so brilliant but because the offer was much better than my competitors

And theres a lot to do with keyword selection, the same piece of copy may convert at 11% to a house list or to highly targetted keywords but then when you try to expand your traffic universe the rates can drop like a rock.

This is where the niche/specialization strategy became so popular online, its easier to raise your profits by having very narrow niches but this does not mean they are pulling in exceptionally large numbers.

Also for other things like a product launch 11% is chump change, so I would like to see where, and how you are getting these numbers.

Or for example WSO's you can easily do 5-20% conversion rates if the product is popular. A quick look at the stats for WSO's confirms this very easily.

"Discover The Science Behind
Why Your Customers Do What They Do
So You Too Can Write Sales Letters
That Convert at Over 11.2%
in Under 27 Minutes, Every Time"
(Even if Your Old Copy Bombed)

Its good but looks unbelievable

For the second one, I would phrase it as follows :-

The PSYCHOLOGY Behind
Your Customer’s Decisions
(and How to Profit From It)
NOWREVEALED

I prefer #2 with a slight rewrite: