it is closed

The layout and graphics are very appealing to the eye. I think you need introduce yourself up front, not 20+ paragraphs down the page.

The page is loaded with grammatical and punctuation errors. This hurts the flow. In fact, I stopped reading because of all the mistakes. A decent proofreader (better yet, an editor) would do you a lot of good.

As for the copy itself, it didn't move me much - at least not enough to pull out my credit card and fork over $97 - not even close. Of course, I used to buy electronics and other stuff from Craigslist and sell them on eBay for some very nice money, so perhaps I'm harder to impress than most. One other thing, maybe I'm getting skeptical but the testimonials sound a bit canned, making them suspicious. Good luck!

#1- You IMHO make the all too common mistake of talking about yourself at the start of the letter instead of talking about fixing the pain of the customer. This instantly makes people lose interest because they want to know what's in it for them (WIIFM)

#2 As you scroll down the subheads get lost in the letter causing readers to lose interest since it's not easy to read the letter

#3 Sounds like you have a good product here and your off to a great start above the fold

#4 You need social proof

Best of Luck!

I think it's a good site and the graphic very good..

It's quite good imho

I was told some time ago if someone compliments you about your ad. Throw it out and start again.But if after reading it they pull out their CC then you know you did good. Has anyone who reviewed it bought? Their's your review.

Hopefully this won't offend you:

The page is lacking in almost all respects.

The graphics tend to compete against the headlines.
You appear to have 2 headlines actually, since the upper and lower Head are the same size and font color (red). (rather than a head and subhead).

With the large arrows and yellow highlighting, the words and message themselves is almost drowned out. Not completely, but its not helpful.
As mentioned in other posts your grammar and spelling is not up to par and will almost immediately make prospects question your professionalism. (particularly for a $700 offer)

Here are just a few grammar examples:
"You should see now an incredible value that you will receive in this coaching." (grammar)
"Dramatiacally (spelling) speed up process of learning posting ads on Craigslist"
"In this way you have full touch with me and you will see literally 'behind my shoulder' every move I do. (you mean OVER my shoulder - BEHIND your shoulder is probably a wall!

There are mistakes like that in virtually every paragraph.

Main Head is not backed up with any proof. What makes you the "Craigslist Guy"?
....who says so? Customer testimonials here would be very important.

There's no samples of your winning CL ads or anything related to CL.

Sales figures shown are meaningless. They only show a list of numbers. Where are they from? Where is the connection to Craigslist? How would anyone know you earned those amounts from CL? ...or that it is even YOU?

Many other issues, but one that jumps out at me is the price of your offer ($700) teaching how to use a FREE SERVICE!!....there's a real disconnect there.

CL is used frequented by marketers with no money. To sell them a $700 PROGRAM is quite a challenge. I would not approach it the way you have but, here's a suggestion:

Try offering the first Coaching module for FREE and let the prospect decide whether to continue and pay for it. This way you could at least demonstrate your abilities and win people over.....good luck!
_____
Bruce

Agreed.. the pop up that you can't close will annoy 99% of people.

For your first attempt I think you did a good job. Hey, it's all a learning curve, one that goes on forever.

Yes, there are grammatical mistakes - too many and they show that you have written the testimonials, or some of them, because the spelling mistakes are the same.

Not only is there a pop up but it comes up so quick it almost feels like it hits you in the face and the close button is very hard to see.

I am not a great lover of long sales letters but tolerate them because I know other people need convincing whereas I make my mind up fairly quickly. Your solid text section needs breaking up, perhaps with some bullet points or small graphics, but definitely basic methods like headings, bold, italics, color.

Here is a "one time offer" . I am a copywriter and I will proof your text for you for free. Even do a little laying out but will not get involved in rewriting, because to be honest I have a ton of things to do for my own new sites.

Thanks for all coments, yes i think that free coaching would be a much better idea to try to sell it. I didnt really re-read it after writing but It seems i have a lot of grammar errors, etc. THanks for all tips, very appreciate!