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an Ad title?

by Hypno mind
5 replies
HEllo warriors

I'm launching a campaing on the weight loss niche and I want to write an attractive persuasive Ad title, any suggestions? by the way I wrote on the ad description this :

"Start a life changing effective, easy, simple and safe 25 days weight loss program, so if you're serious and you want to work to accomplish your goal, click here now!"

All what I need is an attractive title, please any suggestions I'll be thankful
#title
  • Profile picture of the author statsman
    You can try tweaking your ad using Convertasaurus - Which phrase gets better clicks?
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  • Profile picture of the author shawnlebrun
    Originally Posted by Hypno mind View Post

    "Start a life changing effective, easy, simple and safe 25 days weight loss program, so if you're serious and you want to work to accomplish your goal, click here now!"
    You left out a few much needed adjectives... so here's what i'd use...

    "Start a powerful, proven, green, all-natural, life-changing effective, efficient, did I say proven yet, easy, simple and safe 25 days weight loss program, so if you're serious and you want to work to accomplish your goal, click here now!"

    But in all seriousness, you gotta be more pithy and specific. Write like you talk. No one talks using that many adjectives. The true mark of an amateur is how many adjectives they use... the more they use, the less effective the copy.

    You need something more like...

    Give me 25 Days and I'll Show you How to Get a Perfect Body"

    that's just off the top of my head, and winging it... but just be specific and pithy.

    an old headline i used...

    "Amazing Fat-Loss Secrets Of A Former 240-Pound Overweight Police Officer From Maine!"

    see how that has one adjective... and that one headline was the top converter for a program that sold six figures a year for many years.
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    • Profile picture of the author Hypno mind
      Originally Posted by shawnlebrun View Post

      You left out a few much needed adjectives... so here's what i'd use...

      "Start a powerful, proven, green, all-natural, life-changing effective, efficient, did I say proven yet, easy, simple and safe 25 days weight loss program, so if you're serious and you want to work to accomplish your goal, click here now!"

      But in all seriousness, you gotta be more pithy and specific. Write like you talk. No one talks using that many adjectives. The true mark of an amateur is how many adjectives they use... the more they use, the less effective the copy.

      You need something more like...

      Give me 25 Days and I'll Show you How to Get a Perfect Body"

      that's just off the top of my head, and winging it... but just be specific and pithy.

      an old headline i used...

      "Amazing Fat-Loss Secrets Of A Former 240-Pound Overweight Police Officer From Maine!"

      see how that has one adjective... and that one headline was the top converter for a program that sold six figures a year for many years.

      Thanks for teaching me a lesson in copywriting, I'm new to this, I'll try out what you've told me.
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      • Profile picture of the author shawnlebrun
        Originally Posted by Hypno mind View Post

        Thanks for teaching me a lesson in copywriting, I'm new to this, I'll try out what you've told me.
        believe me, back when I started... I used every adjective in the book. but you learn as you go... that adjectives just water down what you're trying to say.

        Totally up to you, but if you want... PM me your email address and I'll send you some copy stuff that has helped me over the years... I've made a boatload in the fitness niche, so it's one I'm familiar with.
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve The Copywriter
    "Start a life changing effective, easy, simple and safe 25 days weight loss program, so if you're serious and you want to work to accomplish your goal, click here now!"


    Lets cut it back a bit.

    Start a proven, easy and safe 25 day weight loss program


    Then say what it will do.

    Start a proven, easy and safe 25 day weight loss program

    Lose up to X Pounds - eating the food you love


    Then say what it won't do.

    Start a proven, easy and safe 25 day weight loss program

    Lose up to X Pounds - eating the food you love - without ever feeling hungry


    Then add a credibility factor

    "Start A Proven, Easy And Safe 25 Day Weight Loss Program

    Lose Up To X Pounds Eating The Food You Love Without Ever Feeling Hungry

    Guaranteed"



    Steve
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