6 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
6 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Critique My Page

by christophercuna
4 replies
Hello Warriors!

I'm A Freelance Writer of two years selling his services. I've finally gotten my site up and made a Hire Me Page.

A critique would really help me out!

Site Link

I'll be waiting for you comments. You can be harsh as possible!

My site is in progress, so I apologize if it doesn't look good.
#critique #page
  • Profile picture of the author Jeffery Moss
    Bring this part of your sales copy up to the top, where it's visible as the first thing when someone sees the page.

    Complete Blogging and Business Website Content Package We Offer:
    In this way, your visitor knows instantly what you offer.

    Then be sure to give a concise list of why you are the best choice for content creation, not just prices.

    Also, format your text better, indent the words from the left margin of the page, rather than allowing them to run across the page fully from left to right. There should be formatting options available in your WYSIWYG editor for your website.
    Signature
    Transform your old PLR books to an automated cash machine that keeps paying you day in and day out!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9086585].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author jtunkelo
    - Change the difficult to read gray-on-white font to black or dark blue

    - Your opening is way too general, you might as well delete it altogether. Get to the point as early as you can.

    - The order in which you present things isn't well thought out. Present your portfolio and other authority elements *before* you tell them your prices and the offer.

    - Make your offer clear, make it easier to buy from you than "my general rates are..." Don't make them do math, do it for them!

    - Move up the testimonials, maybe even replace the weak headline with it (and use the headline as a new subheading).

    - The close is making you look very needy and trying hard to convince. Either replace it with an attractive proposition, or simply a well-crafted call to action.

    Hope this helps.
    Signature

    Need a quick, effective copy critique to boost your conversion? 24-hr turnaround:
    http://juhotunkelo.com/copy-critique/

    Want world class copy to sell your world class product? Get a free evaluation today:
    http://www.emergingonlinetrends.com/...-juho-tunkelo/

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9087516].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Samuel Adams
    The text is really small and hard to read. I had to squint to read the page and it's likely other readers would too. When publishing online, you have to make your print big and bold; varying up size and color to make the page visually appealing and instantly readable.

    Create bullet points that draw the eye.

    And, use a strong opening, a call to action as your headline, that demands instant attention from anyone. Maybe you could use a question or provocative statement to draw a reaction.
    Signature

    Would you like to learn how I make $2000/month from a super easy listbuilding system?

    Click here to get my listbuilding report for FREE!

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9093532].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author christophercuna
      The information you guys gave were awesome! I've made changes on the page and I really appreciate the insight.

      I'm not sure if it's amazing right now but I definitely saw some great changes because of the advice you guys gave.
      Signature
      Fix Content Problems In Just A Snap
      Tasty And Profitable Content
      Click here for more info
      I also own a freelance blog
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9120244].message }}

Trending Topics