Day care Ad Critique

It's always subjective but the copy is OK.

Providing, you have "answered" every question and concern moms have.

Don't they ask about the cost?

You might not want to be specific, but should you give an indication? Or an analogy?

And always have as many great testimonials as possible.

All this can go on the other side of the Flyer.


I would expect a much better response than the 1 or 2 on the previous 5,000.

That worries me a bit because a 0.04% hit is outrageously low even if the copy is poor.

The copy would have to be truly awful to get such a low response.

It's usually due to a badly targeted distribution. And sometimes it's "we think it was 5,000 but nobody actually knows" (turns out 2,000 - 3,000 were never sent).

You're going to get some good advice on your copy *

And the best advice is, with the copy ramped up where necessary, make absolutely sure ALL your flyers are distributed directly to the moms.


Steve



P.S. Handy hint, now I don't mind, but I have noticed if the good people see "thanks" on their posts, others are more endeared to give you even more excellent advice.

It's pretty good but the headline needs work.

You might try something like this...

"If Our Government Was Doing It's Job, This Is How It Would Mandate Your Child's Daycare Be Run"

Having a hard time throwing punches at this one.

I think you did a fine job. I love the name "Amazing Kidz Academy" and the body copy is very well done.

The only thing I feel a bit hesitant about is the headline. It might flow better if you can squeeze the word "amazing" in the headline. Like "Its Finally Here... Amazing Day Care For The Working Mom".

That would jive a bit better with the name "Amazing Kidz Academy".

Or you can completely rewrite the headline.

But overall I like it.

-RS

I'd just reorder things and work up a stronger headline.

To me, no registration fee is an added bonus if I like the place. It's not what's going to sell me on housing my kid there for the better part of a day, all week long.

These caregivers are like a second (or third) parent. I want to know they'd do what I would do if I were able.

And that's -
- provide structured learning, actually teach them something other than "TV is the solution to boredom". You've got that, and it's awesome.

- give them balanced, healthy meals that they like. Don't force feed them brussel sprouts, but don't give in to their demands for candy 24/7. You've got that.

- provide them with well-rounded care, including emergency care if necessary. I'd want to know that not only can the caregiver provide CPR in an emergency, they know basic first aid and when to call me. They have an action plan in case of... in case of fire. In case of any other common thing that could happen to a building containing hoards of children.

You can do all this for my kid. AND you won't charge me a registration? As long as your monthly rate doesn't cost double my salary, we can talk.

Make sense?

Thought I'd add my "mom feedback" too --

1. I agree with the stronger head. I like the "Attention Working Moms: The Perfect Daycare for Your Children" suggestion. If I saw that flyer in the supermarket (for example), I would at least give it a look-see. To be honest, if I saw "It's Finally Here", I'd probably ignore it, assuming someone was trying to get me to lose weight!!:p

2. Is this an established program or a new one? The sub-heading of "Read Below..." makes me think it's established. If it's new, though, I'd find it slightly misleading to think other moms already love the place.

3. I like the clipboard!

4. No registration fee is awesome, I would like to know when that expires.

5. CPR certified is great to know too. I think the other safety issues brought up by another person are very valid. Safety is every parent's ultimate concern but I don't want to initially read something that makes me think of all the scary things that can happen. I want to hear all the warm and fuzzy stuff first!

6. Can things be moved around so the "Curriculum" section is not split up? My eyes for some reason were initially drawn to that middle column and I was slightly confused.

7. Love the term "white-glove". Daycare always makes me think of sticky, gooey germs and if I can hope that the place is cleaned throughout the day and not just at the end, I would be much happier!

8. A little confused about the "After-school Care" section. Does the Before Work apply to siblings as well?

9. Are the office and the Director's cell the same number? If they are, I wouldn't indicate the Director's cell separately. If they aren't, I would say something like, If you would like to speak to our Director personally, call _____. Although so many people do business via their cells, I like to imagine there's a dedicated land line!

10. I would like to see the Director's name on the flyer.

11. Are they only accepting applications from Working Moms? There might be a stay-at-home mom who needs daycare for some reason or another and might feel put off.

12. The day care must MUST have a website!

• Any time I get a flyer for any activity whether it's ballet, swimming or summer sessions, I immediately google the business. I want to know what the facility looks like--that's it's not a seedy-looking home or run-down building. And I need to know what it looks like inside, where the children will learn, play and nap.
• I also want to know what else they offer. This would be a great place to give a sample meal plan or give more examples of the safety procedures in place.
• Also, a photo of the director would be a bonus - I want to see the smiling face who will take care of my baby! At the very least, I want to have the director's name so I can google her - a LinkedIn profile would be helpful even.
• Finally, a contact form on the website would be helpful so I can ask some basic questions before making the phone call.

13. The Guided Tour is nice. But, if I even decide to make the phone call (or have the time to make the phone call), it's one more thing to try and schedule on my calendar! How about a couple of in-person Open Houses? One on a weekday evening and one on the weekend. Easier for me to check my schedule and see if I'm available, or if I can send my mom, sister or friend. Then, also offer private tours (for those who can't make the open house).

I think, too, Moms are more likely to say to each other - Hey, are you going to that open house at Amazing Kidz? Rather than - Hey, have you called that Amazing Kidz place? And if some of them go to an Open House, word of mouth will spread even more and those that missed it will call for a private tour. (BTW, don't forget to send flyers to pre-natal exercise classes!)

Hope this helps. Sounds like your client has a great place!

Yes, Melissa's critique contains all you need for a power flyer that'll probably create a waiting list of moms desperate to enrol at the daycare centre.


Steve