can you critique my squeeze page?

Alex Cohen

12 years ago

Sorry to say, it's just another drop in the Sea of Sameness.

Alex

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shimshi

12 years ago

fair enough, thank you Alex

Thanks

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JohnRussell

12 years ago

What Alex said is correct - but a couple of tips to move you in the right direction...

1. Get rid of the red and yellow text - incredibly hard to read.

2. Your copy has zero proof - and therefore zero credibility.

Think of it his way...

If somebody you didn't know approached you and said - "Hey buddy, buy this whizbang thing. You'll make $104 per day. "

And when you questioned him, he just said:

"Trust me."

You'd run.

But that's exactly what you're doing in your copy.

Thanks

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RickDuris

12 years ago

Originally Posted by shimshi

hey,

i would love to hear what you think about my new squeeze page
any comment will be highly appreciated

Build a Massive Email List

thanks a lot

Ori, don't take this the wrong way but you do realize your squeeze page proves you don't know how to build a massive email list, right?

Thanks
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Raydal

12 years ago

Originally Posted by RickDuris

Ori, don't take this the wrong way but you do realize your squeeze page proves you don't know how to build a massive email list, right?

Well, not necessarily Rick. Maybe he built the list offline. There are more
than one way to build a massive list.

-Ray Edwards

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RickDuris

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Raydal

Well, not necessarily Rick. Maybe he built the list offline. There are more
than one way to build a massive list.

-Ray Edwards

Ray, as you look at the page, what gives you even the slightest hint Ori knows what he's doing? Online or offline?

- Rick Duris

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Cam Connor 12 years ago

Originally Posted by RickDuris

Ray, as you look at the page, what gives you even the slightest hint Ori knows what he's doing? Online or offline?

- Rick Duris

The WP favicon should really be changed in my humble opinion.

-Cam
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- 1 reply
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- RickDuris 12 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Cam Connor
  
  The WP favicon is a nice touch.
  
  -Cam
  
  Yeah, that favicon probably adds a couple hundred optins a day, easy.
  
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DWaters

12 years ago

Originally Posted by RickDuris

Ray, as you look at the page, what gives you even the slightest hint Ori knows what he's doing? Online or offline?
- Rick Duris

The fact that he is seeking feedback from other internet marketers and paying attention to their suggestions and advice tells me he DOES have an idea about how to do things properly.

I believe too many people proceed without a good idea of how to get things done well. Ori is apparently concerned with getting important steps done correctly.

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angiecolee

12 years ago

Originally Posted by DWaters

The fact that he is seeking feedback from other internet marketers and paying attention to their suggestions and advice tells me he DOES have an idea about how to do things properly.

I believe too many people proceed without a good idea of how to get things done well. Ori is apparently concerned with getting important steps done correctly.

If you want to do it correctly, you hire one expert whose opinions you respect and get them to work with you directly.

If you want to do it CHEAPLY, you come on to a message board where you don't know anyone from Adam and ask for advice from people at varying skill levels who may or may not actually know how to help you increase your profits.

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Cam Connor

12 years ago

Originally Posted by angiecolee

If you want to do it correctly, you hire one expert whose opinions you respect and get them to work with you directly.

If you want to do it CHEAPLY, you come on to a message board where you don't know anyone from Adam and ask for advice from people at varying skill levels who may or may not actually know how to help you increase your profits.

THIS deserves a thread of its own.

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RickDuris

12 years ago

Originally Posted by DWaters

The fact that he is seeking feedback from other internet marketers and paying attention to their suggestions and advice tells me he DOES have an idea about how to do things properly.

If he has an idea, it's not demonstrated on that page. It makes me, as a prospect looking at that page, skeptical. It makes me, as a prospect, not think his information is valuable.

The page hasn't done ANYTHING to earn my trust as a visitor.

I'm not talking about Ori personally.

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sethczerepak

12 years ago

Originally Posted by RickDuris

If he has an idea, it's not demonstrated on that page. It makes me, as a prospect looking at that page, skeptical. It makes me, as a prospect, not think his information is valuable.

The page hasn't done ANYTHING to earn my trust as a visitor.

I'm not talking about Ori personally.

And therein lies my problem too.

Okay, maybe you're a list building Ninja.

Who knows?

But I'm not in a big hurry to tell you how to convince MORE people of that when it appears you're pretty damn far down the food chain on the topic yourself.

Again, I could be wrong.

But just in case I'm not, have you considered putting together an offer for information which you're REALLY an expert in?

That's a powerful idea isn't it?

It'll make your copywriting process MUCH less taxing, believe me. It's easier to sell a box full of diamonds than a box full of hot air.

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jay walters

12 years ago

You might want to tighten your hook... suggestion to split test vs your current control:

"Generate More Than 104$ A Day In Less Than 40 Days!"

FREE: Step By Step Guide

Your text color scheme is a bit hard to read. You'll need to adjust this. Remember that "Simple is Sexy."

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Awesomeinside

12 years ago

If you want to increase conversion I agree to change the font color: use max 1-2 and only highlight the most important 2-3 words.

Plus I would change the background to something else: beach or even which represents being rich.

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MYDCOM

12 years ago

My thoughts on your squeezepage.

-Background makes text hard to see.

-Background image doesn't fit with what you're offering.

-People want things fast, telling them it takes 40 days is not gonna encourage many people to sign up.

-Overall, it's just not convincing enough for me to sign up.

That's just my opinion.

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can you critique my squeeze page?

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