Dam, its a lonely life :(

You have to make sure you do not neglect or be cut off from the real world. By all means go out, go to the gym and work on your business at the same time. Do not get into a position where you have to lock yourself in a room doing IM all day.

We all make mistakes and I am sure have all worked in dead end jobs - but success will soon come your way

Hey,

Listen, you just moved to another place you are bound to feel a little different. I understand what that feeling is coz I have lived in UK, Norway and Spain..moving trying to find my place.

It's not easy I know but you have made the move and so you need to accept that this is it for now so make the best of it.
Try socializing with your cousins friends, find a hobby to occupy your mind while you find your place.

These feelings can send you into a depression and trust me you don't wanna go there. Nip this in the bud now before it escalates.

Do one thing at a time, pick an interest and stick with it for a while. When you feel a little stronger try something else, etc.

Not sure if any of this helps.

Good luck

Andy

Hey man, I agree with sparpturn, nip that real quick. Maybe even hit up Craigslist in the strictly platonic section and see whats going on in there, or hit up one of the dating sites. ( I know, only the desperate do that, right? )

Serious, you could probably meet some cool people in the area and get out and do something.

Hope that helps.

I travel with my girlfriend and friends a lot and do my online business, I was never bored and rarely feel lonely

I'm not going to make this religious. But a great place where it's easy to be social is at church. If you're completely turned off by the thought of it, then I couldn't blame you. A lot of people are. But it's definitely a great place to not only do some networking for the business, but it's one place that is over-stocked w/ the naughty but nice type of women. I met my wife at a church. Also they provide plenty of areas of volunteer work, which is good for the mind & soul.

I have a feeling that this thread is going to get a lot of replies.

I was feeling the same way 1 year back. Now I have eliminated the loneliness in the following ways:

- I go to Yoga every morning 7-8 am
- I go to Gym every evening 4-6 pm. Sometimes I skip here and there.
- Joined JCI (junior chamber international) and I socialize with people. They conduct meetings twice in a month.
- Working as a marketing consultant for 1 offline client... not for money!

Now I am planning to get married and have some kids.

Quality of relationships is more important that quantity.

I never considered outside world work to be a "social" experience. Most of the time I worked with a**holes that I didn't really like.

I work at home and it's just me. When I want to socialize, I socialize with friends and family. When I work, I work. Who needs company when you are working?

Get out and do stuff with real people regularly. If the job market is for you, keep looking for a job. No need to give up just because you didn't find one yet.

Hi,

I know what you mean - I've always traveled and lived in many places.

Here's the secret....... If you can't find things to get involved in - Start one.

I've always found that if I can't find clubs, groups or places that offer what I'm in to - if I run an ad in the local papers or even using online social methods - I've always been able to start something.

There are always others interested in the same thing that also don't have a place to go or people to talk to or do it with.

Whether it's been NLP practice groups, IM, or music related - the old saying of "be the change you want to see" seems to apply.

Andy

Don't lock yourself YOU are making it worse.

I'm sure there are lots of activites there, go out , find new friends, go to a club, go to gym, workout , run outside, and as Gary said, go to church, so many stuff.

I also think that you really don't know what you want. Sounds like you go from one thing to another, because your family or friends or society may expect you to do that. For instance, you mentioned going from this job to that, I gather you only took on those jobs because of the expectation on you from society to "earn a living" and pay your bills.

I don't suspect they were something you truly wanted to be doing. So you are going in a rat race, and it's no wonder you aren't happy then!


Then you got into IM, thinking you could choose something for yourself, maybe, and work for yourself. That is most people's thoughts at least, when they get into IM initially...how cool it would be to make money online, from home...right? But once again, you don't know what you want, so you are just sortof trying a few things out now and are testing them, but the issue is you are expecting HIGH results.


You thought your life would change and become better from each thing you tried, but once again, you didn't really know what you want, what you wanted to do or anything like that. So that's why you are feeling worse and worse all the time, with all of these un-fulfilled expectations going on around you, I'd feel like crap too, if that was my world.


I think you should also address this problem more specifically. You have addressed the feeling, for sure, but you are not addressing what is truly triggering all of these things, such as in: why are you doing what you are doing. Why do you choose your actions (to go from job to job, or to try IM) etc etc etc...


What are the REAL core reasons you are doing these things? And what are the REAL reasons behind these feelings you have, because I'm not sure that it's specifically because things fall through, I think it's more specifically WHY those things are falling through.


I also think you are conflicting inside and outside. Your outside world is conflicting with who you are on the inside, and that's where you get this conflict of emotions and bad feelings at times that makes you consistently feel more down as time progresses.


Your outside world may be yielding results, and may even be somewhat successful for all we know, but on the inside it's not cutting it for you, and you think that you could be doing so much more, or could be doing things differently, and maybe a few more thoughts along those lines.


So then you start feeling like crap...because while you are acting on the outside and getting things done and are trying, the inside isn't getting the same results and isn't getting the same attention.


Remember to work from the inside out, not the other way around. it sounds like right now you are going for quick fixes at times, which is the same thing as trying to work from the outside in.

You have to get out. Maybe you can even incorporate "getting out" and expanding your business? I have a wonderful life, great girl, friends, etc., but one reason I went into offline consulting is because I was tired of being cooped up on my computer all day.

Offline consulting enabled me to expand my business, as well as get out of the house. It was a win-win for me!

You're in an amazing country - plan some outings to explore the city and surrounding area. Get a copy of "In a Sunburned Country" by Bill Bryson - he traveled Australia alone and it's interesting to see how he made friends along the way. It's a great read.

Be open to meeting people wherever you go - make eye contact with people, smile, ask questions politely of strangers and before long you'll have more friends.

If you have a hobby or two look for groups in the area involved in those hobbies. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, get your IM work done in solitude and then get out of there and do something. Don't sit and wait for people to find you - go find them.

kay

Phone representative, these jobs pay $12/h on average (less than peanuts, but..) , I do not know if these types of jobs are available in your area, but if they are you might want to look into them. Phone reps are required to have computer and good communication skills, something most people do not have (do not forget to make up your resume with at least 5 years of experience in the field) It is easy to move up in the company from those kind of jobs, it only takes for somebody to listen to your great calls, and realize that you could be making them a bunch of money by working for them in a more important position. (do not look for telemarketing, look for something in the line of Phone account representative) Then do not forget to keep going with your IM business.....it might really pay off like you never imagined it could...

edit/adding: how to make up 5 years of experience in the Phone Rep field?

I give just one idea, there are several ways of doing so, e.g. Just pick up the name of a company which used to have many call centers but which is not in the business anymore, e.g. WorldCom Inc, you can say that you worked for them on the phones in any field you can think of, tech, financial, collections, retention etc, you name it they did it, they even used to do tech phone support for big projects which belonged to other companies, e.g. WebTV, if I am not mistaking WebTV was a Microsoft product. So, there you have it, "you used to work for Microsoft through WorldCom Inc", do you need better credentials than that in the Phone rep field? I do not think so. I hope this helps. it is all about making them let you put your foot in the door, then you have to show them your skills.

That's not actually true. Loneliness has nothing to do with money. I've been in some amazing places with plenty of money and still lonely, and in some isolated places alone and not lonely.

Lonely is a state of mind and it's easy to find people if you really want to.

Andy

Loneliness and boredom go hand in hand. It's your subconscious mind's way of telling you to DO something. Here are my thoughts, take what you can use and set the rest aside:

1. Take a class. It's a great way to meet people with a mutual interest in something.

2. Volunteer for something. Donate a few hours of your time each week to a good cause. You'll meet good-hearted people with a mutual interest in something AND you'll feel good about making the world a little bit better. As a bonus, volunteerism is a great boost to genuine self-esteem.

3. Take advantage of the free time you have. Modern society is filled with noise. It's makes it harder to get to know ourselves at a deep level. The journey within isn't as valued today as it once was, and that's part of the reason people feel lost, they never really get to know what's in their heart of hearts. Too many people only know who they are at a superficial level today. They seldom, if ever, step outside of their programming.

4. Bars aren't a very good place to meet people. While some people occasionally go to bars to have a place to socialize with friends, too many people are regulars trying to drink away their problems, unwilling to face the pain in their lives. They desperately seek the company of others so they can avoid themselves. They believe they are avoiding more pain by not finishing the journey through it, but don't realize they are only adding more pain to what they are already bearing. It's easy to spot a dysfunctional alcoholic, but it's not so easy to spot a functional alcoholic. The friendliest faces often hide the most troubled souls.

In case you don't know this, a person can feel lonely in a crowd of people or in a marriage, as well as when they are alone. Loneliness is more about what's going on inside of you than what's going on externally. Hope that helps a little.

If you feel lonely, maybe you're just not connecting with other people around you (like you're an outcast!), so hang around people who have similar interests to you.

maybe share for free what you know

Strange-
At the end of each day while you're laying in bed - count 5 things you are grateful about. No matter how small. It's called counting your blessings. Example: 1) You might be grateful for your good health 2) You might be grateful for the roof over your head 3) You might be grateful for the lady at the market who smiled at you today. 4) You might be grateful for the good food you ate today. 5) You might be grateful for the funny joke you heard that made you laugh.

Always count your blessings.

Myself and 2 of my friends all decided to start working from home this year doing freelance stuff and we've all said that the isolation is one of the few downsides.

However, it still beats a regular day job and I personally combat the isolation by getting myself out of the house for a nice long lunch break, either down at the local pub for some social interaction with the regulars or a walk in the park.

Playing billiards at a pool hall is a good way to get out of the chair or sofa and be around people. I also go to bookstores in the evening and get an ice coffee just to get out.

Don't allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself. Get out and do something. Don't just sit moping about how lonely you are. If you can't get a paid job at present, why not volunteer to do something you like. There are many organizations where you can volunteer.

Plan your day and allow yourself some free time. Go for a walk , get some exercise and fresh air. Get out and meet and greet people while you are walking. Most of all enjoy what you are doing and maintain a positive attitude.

Worry when you get to this stage....

http://www.layoutlocator.com/graphic...yzamblowup.jpg

It can be a lonely business but you need to create some social opportunities in your life. Go to the gym, spark up a few conversations. Do you go out socializing with your cousin? Does he / she have friends who you could all go out with.

I think it's just a case of 'that first hurdle'. You need to push your self to create these circumstances. Once you have a more 'satisfying' lifestyle, the rest will follow.

You said you moved to Sydney, meaning you do not originate from Sidney. You are between some people that are different than the people where you came from. Like in a football game where you are in the part of the stadion where the supportes of the opposite team are. And you want them to be your friends. You want to be one with them.

Supporters from one club usually don´t like supporters from other clubs. To become one of them, so there is no barrier between them and you, you have to give up your own club and cheer for there´s. Can you do this? Can you give up yourself or do can you really kiss ass?

What´s left besides the moral majority? Social outcast that don´t give a sh´´t about their "club" and therefore will not reject you for that reason. Do you want to belong to the damned?

People that are too stupid to understand that and just want to be happy. Do you want to be one of them?

Or some freaks or artistic people who somehow also live outside the main stream. But in order to become one of them you need to have something they call "cool".

Or you have to keep paying. Do things for them for nothing so they will say: "I don´t like the others, but this is a good guy."

I assume you are a man so you cannot take advice from a woman on this subject. For women it´s different. Women can change easy, men can not.

It´s up to you which option to choose.

try some free online dating sites like plenty of fish or ok cupid. I have so many crazy adventures from online dating it is insane

Think of it this way... you could be stuck driving an hour or more each way to work... all the while thinking about how much you are dreading the day because you hate your job so much. That used to be my life. So it can get better. Hang in there and don't ever give up.