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Ninja Skills

by Jeff Burritt Banned
14 replies
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Forget IM...get some real ninja skills

#chuck norris #ninja skills
  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Three ways guaranteed to impress a woman;

    Tell her you are in the martial arts. In fact, keep insisting that she watch you throw high kicks.

    Out of the blue, tell her that you make a lot of money. Bragging is attractive to women.

    Tease her about her looks. Women always have high self esteem and can always take a joke about the way they look. Oh, and their age...guess high...it makes them feel wiser.

    One BONUS way to impress women. They love seeing guys flex their muscles. Just keep doing poses in front of them...in public...

    Eventually, they will melt in your arms.

    This was brought to you as a public service.

    By the way, some of the funniest jokes are Chuck Norris jokes. Anybody have one?
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    One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

    “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought.” - Matsuo Basho
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    • Profile picture of the author Jeff Burritt
      Banned
      You are a true ninja master


      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      Three ways guaranteed to impress a woman;

      Tell her you are in the martial arts. In fact, keep insisting that she watch you throw high kicks.

      Out of the blue, tell her that you make a lot of money. Bragging is attractive to women.

      Tease her about her looks. Women always have high self esteem and can always take a joke about the way they look. Oh, and their age...guess high...it makes them feel wiser.

      One BONUS way to impress women. They love seeing guys flex their muscles. Just keep doing poses in front of them...in public...

      Eventually, they will melt in your arms.

      This was brought to you as a public service.

      By the way, some of the funniest jokes are Chuck Norris jokes. Anybody have one?
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8099260].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    Chuck Norris jokes are here:
    Chuck Norris Facts |

    real American ninja here:
    Stephen K. Hayes | America's Original Ninja

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  • Profile picture of the author Jeff Burritt
    Banned
    Chuck Norris has ninja skills.

    Chuck Norris has a beard.

    If I grow a beard...

    then I will have a beard.
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    • Profile picture of the author Brandon Tanner
      Rumor has it that ChuckNorris.com is the only website in the world to have never been negatively affected by any of the recent Google updates (ie Panda, Penguin, etc), despite the fact that Google themselves are well aware of the copious amounts of spam keyword stuffing and affiliate links to Viagra pills and fake Rolex watches that Chuck uses on his site in order to generate extra side income.

      In fact, if you Google ANY keyword now, on ANY subject, ChuckNorris.com will appear in the #1 spot for that keyword (if you do that and don't see his site in the #1 spot, then it probably means that Google is having a temporary technical glitch, so just wait a few minutes and try again).
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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Jeff Burritt View Post

      Chuck Norris has ninja skills.

      Chuck Norris has a beard.

      If I grow a beard...

      then I will have a beard.
      Chuck Norris has a beard. But he can use it as a fist. His beard doesn't get trimmed. Chuck Norris commands his beard to grow until he says "Enough!" and the beard stops growing.

      Meteors will never hit Chuck Norris...Professional Courtesy.

      Bullets don't bounce off Chuck Norris. They change their minds before they get too close.

      That's all I got.

      added later; Chuck Norris doesn't need a watch. HE decides what time it is.
      Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
      There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
      Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
      Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.

      Those are a few that made me laugh out loud.
      Signature
      One Call Closing book https://www.amazon.com/One-Call-Clos...=1527788418&sr

      “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; seek what they sought.” - Matsuo Basho
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      • Profile picture of the author Ken Leatherman
        Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

        Chuck Norris has a beard. But he can use it as a fist. His beard doesn't get trimmed. Chuck Norris commands his beard to grow until he says "Enough!" and the beard stops growing.

        Meteors will never hit Chuck Norris...Professional Courtesy.

        Bullets don't bounce off Chuck Norris. They change their minds before they get too close.

        That's all I got.
        Yea! that's all I can take.

        Evil Laugh



        The Old Geezer
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    • Profile picture of the author Sumit Menon
      Originally Posted by Jeff Burritt View Post

      Chuck Norris has ninja skills.
      Ninjas have Norris skill.
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  • Profile picture of the author socialentry
    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.

    There is no such thing as evolution, only a list of creatures chuck norris allows to live.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jeff Burritt
    Banned
    If I had a nickle for everytime someone compared me to Chuck Norris...
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    • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
      Originally Posted by Jeff Burritt View Post

      If I had a nickle for everytime someone compared me to Chuck Norris...
      ... you'd be broke? (C'mon, you were expecting that from someone, I just got in first ).
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      Why do garden gnomes smell so bad?
      So that blind people can hate them as well.
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  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    I just figured it didn't even needed to be said.
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  • Profile picture of the author wlasikiewicz
    Originally Posted by Jeff Burritt View Post

    Forget IM...get some real ninja skills

    LOL - that is an awesome post.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jeff Burritt
      Banned
      Only the best of the best here


      Originally Posted by wlasikiewicz View Post

      LOL - that is an awesome post.
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