Surviving divorce without imploding...

Try to think with a clear head and do NOT leave the residence,as hard as that may sound. You need to protect your rights. While hopefully your marriage can be saved if that is what you want,you must be prepared for the worst.
Probably not the advice you wanted. Sorry.

I'd leave. (have done so) - for a couple of days at least. OF course, if you have property and kids - you need to call a lawyer first and find out how you can take a couple days at some distance without being considered legally abandoning anything...........even if it means taking your kids camping. Get away from there in any way possible without abandoning your legal rights. If she takes off with things that aren't necessarily hers, she's the one under fire not you........and things really don't count for much in the long run. I've lost a lot of things in break ups and don't really care much anymore about them even though I was furious at first.

Anyway - get away, think about it. How good is it really for you? Is it more pleasure than hassle? Is it more a habit than a passion to be with her? Think it out with some distance. Then you will know, at least, if you want to pursue reconciliation or just figure it as an experience that is over and time to look for new experiences. If it is time to go - then it is. Look forward as much as possible and back as little as possible, and immerse yourself in the moment in whatever you choose to do. It's a good time to broaden your interest and start some new stuff. It's easy to get into a routine and rut without realizing you have done so........so find something that excites you. Try anything and everything (moral and safe) until you get the one that charges you, then find other people who love to do it, too.

Sal is right,I may not have been clear enough. Getting away for a few days is a good idea,but I was mainly saying do not move out,as it can be construed as abandonment. Good Luck.

I am sorry to hear this - very sad - and although men are not supposed to cry and appear most of the time to be unfeeling, I have read that men take divorce even harder than women.

... and I see why - they always get the shaft - now if they deserve it (two timer, etc) then out they go and let the cards fall where they may - but I don't see why things are so unequal when it comes to divorce when he has not really done anything overt (like a fricking two timer).

So listen to what Kim says - he has been down the road too.

I hope you will find ways to cope with this and that you will be okay and land on your feet.

The wife has been freezing you out for a couple of weeks. Why?

I'd like to say you should have addressed the frigid temperatures when they started to happen. But then again, we can't go back and change the past.

No marriage or relationship is without its ups and downs.

Living in Vegas, I saw how easy it was to get a divorce and that's the choice that most couples chose.

And in some cases, that's exactly what should have happened.

But you made a decision.

You chose this woman for a reason.
She chose you for a reason.

We get married, get into a routine and it's easy to dismiss each other's feelings, hopes and dreams.

Please don't jump into a divorce unless there are extenuating circumstances that cannot be resolved.

Marriage is work. You have to compromise like every relationship - be it a friendship, girlfriend/boyfriend and husband and wife.

Why did you fall in love with your wife?
Why did she fall in love with you?

Is there abuse, verbal, physical? I have no tolerance for abuse on any level.

As a child of divorce, there's no doubt my parents should have divorced and they did.

Their rationale (in the 60's) for "keeping the family together" was utter bull shit. The memories I have during those times are ones I have tucked away and rarely think about because they're horrid.

But for families who have a chance to work things out, by all means, open the channels of communication. Communication is one of the first things to go by the wayside.

Ask your wife what the problems are. And LISTEN. Don't just hear her, listen to her.

Then it's your turn. Let her know what the problems are an listen.

I can tell you from experience people don't change. I spent a decade of my life trying to change someone and it doesn't work.

I don't know you.
I don't know what caused you to be at the point where you are today.

You know if you can save your marriage.

Sorry to hear about your situation.

Don't give up if your marriage is worth saving.

Thanks for the support all! I absolutely agree that a families should stay together, but I am thinking it isn't going to happen this time around. Once she decides something it usually stays decided.

The killer part is I am going to miss seeing my daughter every day. That is what I am having the hardest time dealing with.

For the most part things are amicable, that is good at least. Don't think that it will get messy.

Like Kim said, "keep a clear head".
Amicable is definitely good.
It will make things much easier.
Not sure about the leaving part.
Especially with kids.
Of course, every situation is different but, in my case, leaving made it more
difficult. At least on me.
If it comes down to it, losing custody of your daughter
is not necessarily a given.
And there's also shared custody to consider.
By all means keep communications open between you and your wife.

I can't speak for all states,but most courts where I am do shared custody.
When I was divorced, I was granted shared custody with myself having primary physical custody.

We can only try to help with generalized suggestions and advice though. As Larry said,every case is different.

You say she's been freezing you out for a couple weeks. Before that was everything fine and some big thing happened in this short time for her to have this reaction or has it been bubbling under the surface for a long time now?

Mark

If there's any way to keep fighting for your marriage, I think it's worth while... Don't give up!

As a relationships and marriage coach with a couple of online programs, a podcast and a number of ebooks (as well as a part time internet marketer), can I put out a couple of thoughts....
The most important thing is to work on your own self esteem and how you feel about yourself. It's easy to get down, but that is only going to make things worse, especially if you want to keep the marriage together (which you haven't said). To do this ask yourself the following questions:
- what's good about this situation?
- what are some of the advantages of not being with her?
- what am I grateful for that I am learning by going through this? How will it make me a better person?
Once you start seeing that there is in fact a good side to the situation (which there always is), you'll be surprised at how much better you deal with it, and you'll also find your wife responding in a different way.
Then go and have fun! What do you like to do? Who do you like to be with? What goals can you set for your life?
The more you focus on YOU and improving YOU, the more your world will change for the better. I know there is no harder time than the present to believe that, but you can do it, a little bit at a time.
If you'd like some more advice feel free to pm me.
All the best,

Liam Naden