local seo postcard - design - feedback

What you're saying is too long. Stick to one message, free audit. You can sell them the rest once they sign up for the free audit.

Or is this landscape style better?

Landscape is better, but it's too wordy.

Also, either try and condense the copy into maybe 10 words at most, or come up with a great headline that stands out that is super short and tells them what your offer does for them.

I'd maybe think about changing the color of the font too. Everything else is so colorful that the gray kind of fades away and doesn't get read until last.

You've only got about 2 seconds to make an impression.


Don't forget that your postcard won't always end up facing upwards like that when the prospect sees it... so the back side needs to be attention drawing too.

FREE website audit.

Put yourself above your competition.

Gain clients with the "A" spot on major local search engines.
[where the "A" is represented by repeating the image of
the inverted teardrop marker in the same size as it appears on the map]

Flip this card now!
　
　
　
I thought the above was stronger copy, but then I looked again and realized I had misread the original offer. Apparently the result of the offer, per se, is not improved placement. Improved placement would result from your "services" beyond the audit--which is fine. But the result of this offer is a free audit which goes completely undescribed.

If I get this in the mail I read it once and it sounds pretty good, but before I sign up I read it again and think: "What will the free audit actually put in my hands? There is no indication here." Maybe it is worthless and I'm just trading my valuable contact info for nothing much. Right?

So in addition to "more about your services" on the flipside, maybe you should include some expression of what the free audit will give me. I think you have to sell me on the value of the free audit before I'll give you a crack at selling me your other services.

By the way, I am personally very interested in just such services right now. I'm not (yet, anyway) an internet marketer but a local professional here to address my SEO needs.

As it stands this piece in my postbox would definitely have caught my attention, but I almost surely would not have acted right away. Rather I would more or less "file" it while continuing my research into local SEO options. Whereas, depending on what the free audit actually consists of I might well reply there and then .

Just one opinion, but it comes from your target market.

Good luck with it!

I prefer the landscape style, and keep your message brief and to the point. Business owners are busy and you want to catch their attention right away, do not confuse them with a lengthy message like what you have now on your postcard.

Wow guys thanks for taking the time to review this, I appreciate it and I can't wait to get back to work on it. I hope I can come back with something stronger, thanks for the grammar tips too. I am not that great with grammar, but I do know how to make some OK graphics. I knew the lettering / writing was the weakest point and I am very happy you all have given me solid advice. Thank you very much!

Oh yea, one more thing .

Google places is


FREE!!


I didn't include that part tho :p

getting on first page, ranking in A slot, is very time consuming and not free :p

No problem! I think it's probably because small business owners are incredibly busy running their businesses, and have very little time or energy to care about marketing stuff. It is our duty to go in there and make them aware that we can take care of the marketing for them!

Personally instead of trying to sell the "free audit", as this just sounds like you are asking for an opportunity to pitch to them, I would try to sell the benefits. I.e. Getting top of google local will give your more business and more profit.

I'd probably have text like this:

Get top of Google and get more quality business!
- No monthly cost
- No cost for referred business
- Free analysis and report to show you how you can get #1 on the Google list and start benefitting from extra business in as little as 3 days.

Call now to arrange your free website report.

Maybe that is too wordy, but i don't like the word "audit". When someone says that to me I think of the tax man. You can make a nice report that shows some keyword analysis and backlinks pointing at them and make it into a sales pitch to get them to pay for you to tweak content, register to google local and build some backlinks and whatever other services you want to tag on as an upsell.

First, the landscape is a lot better. As far as the copy, instead of saying "this could be you" or telling them they can get business from it, Ask them if they are.

Say somehting like: "Are you in the A spot when you search for your business on Google?" If not, you should be! Flip over to find out how to be there?

This way the business owner is curious to see where they are ranked if they don't already know. Then when they check it will reinforce with them that thay need to be there and be more likely to call you up. They have already taken some action to find out, then thay may be more motivated to want to do something about it then just reading that they can be there on some postcard.

Just my 2 cents

Well I don't like the audit idea either GIM, but I need to set the bait, I need to get that initial action from the prospect. I figure if I give them something I am more likely to upsell them with my SEO services. That's where I fall short with my postcard / offer.

How about this - offer to do a free Google Places listing (not optimized, of course!) for the businesses that aren't even listed!

Yeah, I know exactly where you are coming from. I have been in the sector for almost 10 years. It's all about setting the bait and getting the upsell smooth and silky. I have taken on numerous clients who did several thousand pounds worth of business from an advert that basically said "Full website £49 - Free domain name, hosting etc.. (worth £xxx)". It cost me £150 in PPC to sell each £49 website, but I upsold 1 in 3.

If someone is thinking to themself "I need to get on google, what do I need to do?" and they see your postcard offering an audit, they will be all over it like a rash. But it's a bit limiting if you are sending it out cold.

There are lots of angles you could try. You could offer google local registration free and make the upsell to a monthly seo package to get their listing to the top as well as working on some local keywords. This means you could put out a semi official looking postcard with something like:

Free Google Local Registration

Appear in the google search enginge whenever someone searches for "keyword" and many other related keywords. Simply call this number to get registered for free.

If you can get your printer to put the company sector and area into the postcard as the "keyword" for each one you have got a killer mailing!

In fact, I like this idea so much I am going to do it myself lol!

If your a good salesman then you just need to get the right person on the phone then you can sell them what you want. Just get a list of good opening questions to use on enquiries coming in.

** Edit **

In the sample text I was very hasty. You would still need to find a way of spelling out exactly why they want to be in google local.

Aren't you assuming people will know what the map and markers are about? If they aren't web-savvy (as the majority of people aren't), they may well be thinking "Why is this guy sending me a map?". Even if they are somewhat familiar with web usage, they still might not relate a map to a listing in Google.

I know you might not have room for it, but a 'mini-screenshot' showing a search-term typed into Google, with the results underneath featuring a map, might communicate the message in a much clearer way. If your graphics skills were up to it, you could erase the first business listed, add their details, and ask them if they'd like to see that for real (by using your services).

Tommy.

Thanks Thomas, you gave me some valuable insight. I will have to just hope that when they see google and local search they will catch on to the bubbles and the maps. I wish I had more space, I think a post card will be the most effective way next to just showing up with a brochure of some sorts.

Hope this postcard works for you - lots of great feedback above.

Why not find their email from the website, make a video of you researching their "local keyword phrase," and showing the results. Send them an initial email, with the link to the video.

In the video, show/tell the prospect exactly how you'll help them "get their phone ringing," vs. a "website audit." It's very likely that S/He's already been contacted by other SEO/website gurus with the same pitch of your postcard.

FYI - Jing is a great screen-capture tool that's easy to use, and will force you to stay under five minutes - which the business owner will appreciate. Easy to build a link to video, etc. for your emails.

Overall, it's an interactive demo/discussion, where you can portray credibility and enthusiasm to your potential client. Builds trust, etc. And you get to show them how you'll help them "increase sales" or "survive in this tough economy."

Or do the video and offer/attach a free SEO report, and drive them to your website/info with the postcard. "I've already identified five ways your competitors are getting more customers than you ..." Something along that thought process. Build the relationship from there.

Just food for thought...Best of luck!

I don't know much about rules of TM, but since you are or may use actual bing and google logos, shouldn't those be followed by TM = trade mark?


BTW, I am doing local, and I am taking pictures of store fronts and biz owners to place on individual postcards to be mailed with a small note relative to the individual.

Kelvin

I use an application called Send Out Cards ...

What I was doing as an offline marketer was ... screen capping IT co's websites ... and inserting that screen grab into a custom card - sent in my handwriting with their website on the cover - with a funny caption or note ... and inside was my story.

Twas for larger sales

I like the Google Maps, I think local business owners are going to identify with that instantly..

Keep the momentum.

I would say something like this.

Make the "A" List

Authority
Access
Attraction
bla bla

Each A needs to be the image of the Balloon A for the bullet points.

Now at the bottom of the card you need to have the "Red Carpet" like its going down off the bottom of the card.

When they flip the card the Red Carpet continues and you put the rest of your message on it with a strong call to action to call right now.

Just my 2 cents.

I don't do graphics so if you could try it and post it I'd like to see what it looks like.

PS: On the other smaller balloons don't put any letters that are remotely close to A in the alphabet. Use Q, S, T, W, Z. etc. = )

What is your offer in one SHORT sentence?

Give me the 3 biggest reasons that are good for me using your offer.

Tell me what to do now, cause I like to give you some money :-)

TK

PS: Try a emotion catching SCANDALOUS headline "You are missing out on over 100 additional new customers PER MONTH!"

Well that's a good point TK1, it is missing drama and not very captivating.

• You will be in the 10 box position for super ultra targeted keyword search phrases.

• You will be also on the front page for that specific niche, given that the competition isn't SEO'd too much. but even then I could just outsource the crap out of sites like fiver etc.

• You will also get an increase of sales leads for that particular niche as the end result

the problem is that,

this doesn't translate to a laymen, with all due respect, who really cares about SEO crap :p

As a copywriter, I'd like to see a big, bold, benefit driven headline right at the top.

Something that stops them in their tracks and makes them think "That's exactly what I want!"

And a call to action that makes them pick up the phone right then and there (at the bottom of the card).

Put the rest of your message in the middle, but make sure you have those two things at the top and bottom of your piece... or else no one's going to give a %#$!

I am bumping this because dammit I want to see if Skoh make a mock of of my idea!

Working on that Rus. I have weak copy, i'm trying to make dynamite and coming up with some serious duds!

Copy is for sales letters.

This is a flyer of sort.

Bullet points communicating benefits and call to action is all you need.

What are the perceived benefits of being on the A list?

Red Carpet treatment, etc etc.

Here's the reference.
A-list - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

simply translate those benefits into your service and how Google is going to love them!

Too busy on the colors, and make the A's for the words the Balloon!

I would get rid of the Free stuff, business owners know they gonna pay money. But what they want to know is what are they paying for and what are they doing to get out of it.

They gonna get, Authority, Access, Attraction, Acceptance, Amore,

A-blitorate the competition!

Leaving those balloons blank kinda gave me the idea to put a question mark inside them instead of letters.

This is driving me crazy lol, I better put down the computer for a minute Lol

Thanks for the help Rus

now I just need the rest, it's coming close to finished. Only 8 attempts at the initial design.

I would say the simpler the better... even something like this would probably perform decently.

Maybe use a better handwriting font (or actually hand write your message and scan it in)

Would probably work better in blue handwriting (to simulate a pen).


I dunno, just throwing out some ideas since I had a couple minutes.

I like the idea of simplicity, I just want the customer to know that I stand behind my work and that I would go the extra distance to make a nice looking postcard. I'm at such a loss now what to do. I am now suffering from paralysis analysis . Thanks for all the support I get from this thread guys and gals.

I think I found my hook.


be the LOCAL authority with my local business directory DOMINATION.

A picture is worth 1000 words.

The artwork done correctly, coupled with the right verbage will illicit the response your looking for. Them picking up the phone and calling you.

You need to have both because there are people who respond to visual elements and verbal elements.

So its paramount that you have done both effectively.

As an example.

Most people fall into 1 of 3 types.

Touchy feely
Visual expression
Information or specification oriented.

My job was to find out who was what as quick as possible.

So I had to make sure I met those needs while pitching them.

The touchy feely person was the one who I gave the roofing samples to hold and touch.
The visual person was the one I made sure to take outside and let them imagine how I was going to make sure their roof job happened and actually build an image of their new roof for them, while using a lot of body language.

You need to try and address a little of each of these elements on your card so you increase your response rates.

So your graphics need to communicate the message just as well as your copy does to.

Personally that's why I like the A list angle because its easy to communicate that graphically and verbally. And in this day and age who does not know what the A list is or means? right?

Some great ideas/suggestions here. Here's my addition:

Fear of loss is always a more powerful motivator than pleasure of gain, so I would do some basic research into the amount of traffic/potential clients a business is missing out on and focus on that.

E.g.

4,500 people are searching online for 'your city dentist' every month. How many of those potential clients have you lost so far by being invisible to them?

Abdul.

This is an education in putting together an effective marketing piece! I'm learning as much here as I would from a live seminar on postcard marketing !
Thanks to all...

Sure, scarcity is a powerful motivator too, but the message on the postcard needs to be very brief but effective.
You can use other motivators once they've responded and
shown interest.
On the postcard, keep it short but powerful.

Abdul.

I suggest get a designer to have the postcard designed proffesionally. The postcard should be grabbing attention and memorable.

another idea is burning camtasia presentation to DVD and dropping that off with the postcard

Thank you, several hours went into it.

Thanks Tim, I will put into action a lot of your recommendations.

I seriously appreciate the help. I'm sure there will be plenty of more help i'll need

"audit" is such a bad word for a business owners. If I were a business owner in your area the last thing I want is an "audit", but I see that you took that out,so good.

You can make the velvet ropes more transparent to bring out the google map. For your current design.

I think your current design is too busy and confusing too understand for someone who is not an imer and who might not know about local search.

And I agreed with Tim, use an pre-recorded message ( audio sales pitch, almost like a free report, but audio) with an toll free number if possible.

I would make something bold like a bold guarantee.. >" Guaranteed Page 1 listing or you pay nothing!" < and have bullets -more leads, customers calling you -branding for your business -dominate your competitors

And a call to action "Pick up the phone and call xxx-xxx-xxxx now!" ( small print "before your competitor do)

Make sure to include a website url . the site should have a lot of testimonies of previous clients.

The idea is to give them something that they can understand and relate to in a few sec. and they will go to your site to check you out. And be wow by your "great customer service" , "experience" and "proven results" .

I have send out tens of thousands of cards and most of the customers that can as a direct result of the mailing, went to look at my site first. And when asked, they said that the reason they contacted me was because of the positive feedback from previous customers.


btw, jumbo size 6 x9 post card convert better and do not cost much more. I used to send post cards with imagemedia , you should check them out for bulk pricing. And I rent my list from infousa.

Great idea for getting to folks.

This appears to be geared to "Mass Mailing."

Why not customize a postcard for each business as others have suggested?

It will have more impact. As mentioned before, if you are doing this local, go around and take pictures of local businesses and put in the FRONT of the card... Use a compelling headline that offers a KNOCK-OUT benefit...

I had a friend years ago who wanted to be booked by a certain company for a series of entertaining sales shows. He did a series of cards with funny photos of my friend doing things for the company... They bought.

You don't have to do funny things... just make an impact.

First -- This thread is really more educating and practical ! Thanks

Somehow I feel the recommendation by thomas ( in the first page of this thread) with a good design work - can make a better appeal.

Landscape is more like your monitor - Any-day has a better impact !

Personally i don't like the postcard.

Too wordy and if i was a clueless business owner (like most are when it comes to IM) i would firstly not likely understand the value of it to me and also just label it as 'another Google company'

Here is a better approach and a few ideas you may want to consider:

1) Don't have a pic of the map as you show it.

2) Target each postcard to a specific niche

3) Show a pic of the screenshot as you see it on google web search

4) In bullets tell how many searches per month for their phrase (by adding all the terms you can rank for give a total), ie show them what they are losing out on. Point out their competitors and tell them you are giving them a free audit to see if they can get in the 'A' position.

Biggest thing is to show them the value to them and how their competitors are in front of xxx number of searches.

Terms such as 'Google Places' on their own really means nothing to the majority of business owners.

Only testing will give you the real results.

Riz

EDIT:

Woops i never saw the revised version in post number 51. Will that really mean anything to business owners? In my opinion 'no'. As an ex restauranter i would put that postcard straight in the bin. It would not mean much to me and i would not understand the value to me.

As a business owner i want to know about my bottom line and how it can improve. Fancy words mean nothing to me.

Hope that helps

Riz

Wow you got some great feedback here!

I agree with most the folks who
1. don't like the word "audit"
2. Worry about biz owners having any clue about what the map and the "A" means

I like the copy guy who suggests bold, basic benefits...

If you want to use a Google screenshot, I think the search results is an ok idea if it's prints well enough at that size, but how about a headline with it more like:

"We Couldn't Find Your Website!"
or
"Your Website Is Buried" (using a die cut postcard in the shape of a coffin! lol)

Great thread, great ideas here, and good luck with your postcard...

Hope you continue posting, showing the final postcard design, but also update us with the results you get from them, etc.

Cheers
Jay

Skoh,

I think this postcard should get some attention, IE not thrown away thumbing through the mail. You gotta make sure it is not too confusing to the person who reads meaning he understands what he is reading.

Rick

I love this thread. So many good people sharing great ideas. My thanks everyone.

Anything new skoh? Or is that what your mailing out? I would really like to know how this goes.

I didn´t get it in the first eye sight, where is the headline?

SO i've been going at my landing page for some time now. I really just wanted to put something up there, i'm going back through the video again. I really need to imply some serious call to action in my video. I know it's lacking. Still updating / planning but wanted to keep this thread going!

Here is the site: http://thelocalsyndicate.org

Hmm that's strange, I am pretty new to CSS/HTML. I was editing it last night maybe you could try again. Also what browser are you using. I did use some CSS3 which isn't really fully supported by all browsers. Thanks again!

Tim! hey bud, I'm working on my email campaign still but i wanted to build a website / landing page to atleast have something. So I had to teach myself HTML/CSS all over again. Once I do that, I will then move forward Lol . It's a slow process for me but hopefully I get it right soon.

Here's my 2 cents - using the above image, I feel you'll need to capture the biz owner's attention with something like - (Name), (Biz) is ... I feel it's visually a bit much, but you can instantly focus there attention by including the personal information. Whereby, allowing the graphics a little time to be absorbed.

Why beat around the bush?

Show the targeted prospects that they're NOT on the list but their peers ARE!!!

All great points, what I have found out is that the client doesn't really care about all the "features and benefits" What they want is more clients via the Internet. I am also afraid that all your FREE, FREE is not really FREE because you are charging your client.
I would suggest something like. "Get More Clients" "Be Found Where People Are Looking For Your Business" "Don't Be Left Behind"