Please review my offline website!

by SeanyG
24 replies
Hey Guys,

Just finished my offline website after a few days of toiling away. I spent the last two weeks talking to local businesses and figuring out what they need. This is the result!

Looking forward to getting some constructive criticism!

The optin doesn't yet work on the homepage. The 1800 number isn't yet registered either. Aside from that its pretty much done.

Does it look professional enough?

Once I get some feedback I'll start cold calling and emailing businesses! Wooo hoo.

Thanks for your feedback in advance!

#offline #review #website
  • Profile picture of the author Danielm
    While I think honesty is important, I'd probably scratch the part about not knowing how to do the technical stuff. I wouldn't even lie and say you are a tech guru but maybe just not put in the few lines that mention it.

    Maybe someone a bit more experienced will correct me, just going on my first thoughts.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dexx
    I like it! Well done
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  • Profile picture of the author f2f
    Excellent site, and yes looks professional.
    I wouldn't change a thing. Got easy navigation, can clearly see what you offer.
    Video gives personal approach and creates trust.
    Optin compelling enough to want to get more info, and placed in a great position on site
    Great stuff!
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  • Profile picture of the author SiteSmarty
    I agree. You did a great job on the site. Your optin is perfect. Good luck on your site.
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris Cho
    Testimonial on the front page would be a plus.

    I ask for name, email, website, phone number because I only want serious people to opt-in. I'm offering a free seo analysis report for their site so I need all that information. After receiving the information I call or have one of my assistant to call and ask for their keywords they want to rank. And since we already have their website we can point out how we can help better their site.

    That's just my style but who knows... maybe your email opt-in works better. Regardless, good luck bro
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris Cho
    oh and I forgot to say that I REALLLLLY like how clean it looks.

    And also love the "featured in" banner.
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  • Profile picture of the author maricelu
    Great site, however, be aware of posting your website's adress on forums. (why not make a screenshot?). Recently I got one of my sites hacked and it wass a pain in the *** to get it back. Another thing -- MAKE IT SECURE! here on WF are some posts on it.

    I have no signature.

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  • Profile picture of the author Rus Sells
    I really like the layout and crisp look of your site.

    Your video however is a little shaky in some areas. Your squinting the whole time and you have your head half turned to the side during the whole video due to the sun.

    On a subconscious level this does not send a signal of trust and credibility. The biggest thing I didn't like was that I could not see your eyes. This is one of the most IMPORTANT aspects if your going to shoot a video of yourself.

    People want to look into your eyes and see your confidence and sincerity.

    I like the setting you shot it at but the time of day didn't do you any justice, I'd try shooting it again and move in to a tighter position on yourself instead of keeping the shot as it is.

    Some of your verbal transitions are a little shaky and I'm willing to bet this is one of your first takes if not, its your first take.

    As a suggestions, tell the viewer at the beginning that you have something for free for them that they can take action immediately, instead of waiting at the end to tell them.

    There's quite a bit more I could go over to help you pitch yourself on camera but I won't go into all of it here. I think I've given you a good starting point.

    Just in case your wondering who I am or who the hell is this guy coming off like this to me!!!!

    I'm a 20+ year sales veteran in the face to face sales arena so I do know a little bit. = )

    Hope this helps and if you want further help just PM me and I will be happy to help you refine the video presentation.

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  • Profile picture of the author RentItNow
    Very very clean and simple. I like! Let us know how it performs.

    Only thing I noticed was the ocean noise in the background sort of "drowns" your voice a bit. You may try a noise filter to remove at least some of it.
    I have no agenda but to help those in the same situation. This I feel will pay the bills.
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  • Profile picture of the author DazedandConfused
    I too like the crisp clean look of the site.
    I did think the categories at the bottom could be clickable button pages.

    I'm curious though...WHO exactly is your target local offline - anyone and everyone? You mention being from BC, but then you are in Mexico?

    Russ and John had some good points about the video. Though the scenery is beautiful, it could be distracting as well. The setting, though someone not in IM may not get this - to me came off sort of "IM Guru" (I'm on a beach, and you can be too if you follow my course...?) that may just be MY impression, but subconsciously I see that. (maybe I've seen too many of those guys...)
    Perhaps a more intimate beach setting. Also, tighter shot - medium close up - you want a one-on-one feel. (if you're a person that talks with their hands, bring them into the shot.) Transition your edits, don't leave the jumpy cuts, it looks unprofessional unless it has intention. If you change the angle or shot a little on each take - the edits will look smoother. (think, "go to camera 2") -
    Or just keep doing it until you get one good take you're happy with.
    All in all, looks good! -

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  • Profile picture of the author Kristabelle
    Design is good. Simple and easy to see. My constructive criticism.
    As the others have said I will repeat: What is it that you are wanting my email address for? thats super important. Tell the person what exactly to do and why.
    The text: Get More Sales And Customers On Line - the text hits each other and thats messy. Maybe thats my firefox or not. Unsure but its there.
    The Get Access button should also have a call to action on it eg: Get Your Free Report Now. More powerful to the person.
    Put in Arrows directing people to the email and button. Ever tried to look away from an arrow without actually focusing on it - Our brains are taught to look at arrows from a very early age - its imbedded in us, so use it to your advantage.
    The 4 buttons on the Want more sales isnt in line with the NEED theme. If you have a theme of Want More Sales then best to stick to it or change it to the Need theme. But having both is a little confusing for some.
    The review section logos are fantastic but be aware that unless you are paying them for this or they have your permission you can be caught in a big legal trouble battle over profiting from their logos in your business.
    It took me 5 times at seeing your website to see a "more: button on the bottom of the front page - maybe put that directly next to the end of the last shown sentence.

    Why listen to me you ask yourself? Well thats kinda hard to tell you, I dont know why Hard Rock Cafe international listened to me when they needed my help in the Australian retail sector, or even why Oakley took a massive half-a-million-dollar per annum leasing position just because I showed them the potential of the marketing avenues they has on offer, or even why (undisclosed company but in the top 10 privately owned company in the world) wanted only to talk to me about their next steps in the Australian market. I just know they wanted me in their corner and I came up with the goods.

    So hopefully some of the tips might help you.
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  • Profile picture of the author lsudiponline
    keep rolling man. Awesome!.
    I wonder when i would be able to make such site.
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  • Profile picture of the author SUPER Louie
    Great site.

    The templates looks very clean.
    I think you should add a more compelling headline though. Just my opinion
    A superhero is someone who knows how to be quiet, shed a tear for a moment, then pick up his sword, and fight again!
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  • Profile picture of the author jedhanlin208
    I really dig it! the surf behind you though is a bit loud! Congrats and best of luck!!!
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  • Profile picture of the author eaton121
    I don't think I am really in the position to rate this because I am also a newbie but from a usual reader's point of view I think it is good.
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  • Profile picture of the author maricelu
    Originally Posted by Asad Moeen View Post

    It needs a lot of improvements.
    What specifically, "master"?

    I have no signature.

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  • Profile picture of the author DazedandConfused
    I have to agree with maricelu on that Asad -

    A statement like that is usually followed by your idea of what those improvements might be...
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    • Profile picture of the author maricelu
      Originally Posted by DazedandConfused View Post

      I have to agree with maricelu on that Asad -

      A statement like that is usually followed by your idea of what those improvements might be...
      Yeah. He just achieved 50 posts.. all like this one

      I have no signature.

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  • Profile picture of the author barache
    I love the design! The headline seeme rather boring, and not too original. Maybe if you could come up with slogan or something that relates business growth, or lead generating. Something catchy.
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  • Profile picture of the author SeanyG
    Wow. AMAZING feedback thus far!

    Thanks guys. Going to go through the feedback and leave replies 1 by 1.

    To be clear the services and the videos I created explaining them will change as I narrow down to one market and one (or a handfull) of services.

    Everything on here is temp and will be optimized as I learn more!
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  • Profile picture of the author pbdollars
    website is good. looks like you are on track.
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    • Profile picture of the author DevinRose
      I like it but is that your business name online spat or something like that
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      • Profile picture of the author SeanyG
        Originally Posted by DevinRose View Post

        I like it but is that your business name online spat or something like that
        Expat - it means someone that has left their country and lives somewhere else. Its a pretty common term.

        A lot of the business owners down here in Vallarta are Expats. They use the word expat to describe themselves and others like them. Theres whole expat communities! And to the business owners in North America I'm an expat living elsewhere.

        Its a temporary name but people seem to like it.
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  • Profile picture of the author dapirus
    First of all great job, you are on the right track.
    I would ask for the first name at least on your mail form, this will allows you to personalize future communications with the potential client.

    As far as the video goes the background noise is a little distracting. When doing videos the quality of your audio is critical. You don't want viewers straining to hear what you are saying. Find a nice quite place to shoot your videos next time.

    I would also suggest that you keep your video under two minutes. Your video is almost four minutes and the best parts are at the end where you offer a free consultation and make your call to action for the sign up form. After about two minutes most viewers are going to exit your video and they will never know about your free consultation offer. I had to force myself to watch the whole thing. Your video is a promotional video so you need to get right to the point and move on.
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