please, I need help finishing ( editing) my minisite and sales copy

9 replies
  • WEB DESIGN
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Hello! I'm sort of new here, but I love this community.

Please comment or pm me if you can help...

I recently started building a sales funnel in the hypnosis niche, and paid a firm to design me a jam-up mini site


secret-hypno.com/specialoffer

the problem is i'm not a web wizard or a copywriter - I need HELP!!

I've bought a truck load of PLR ebooks to go into this deal, and am working on my own rewritten hypnosis ebook to go with the deal..

I need someone to help me finish the formatting and to write the copy for this thing, I have tried using coffee cup or kompozer and just can't get it to work for me.

i have all the ebook covers and copy for them written, does anyone here do that sort of work or could refer me? I am very anxious to get this mini site working so i can start driving traffic to it. THank you very much,

David

p.s. Anyone also know a good software to generate a decent optin page? Mine quit working properly yesterday ( geez )
#copy #copywriting #editing #finishing #minisite #sales
  • Profile picture of the author DarrenHill
    Hi TheAttraction,

    and welcome! There are a whole host of talents at this forum and many of us who will devote our time to help newbies and veterans alike. I could probably help you with your formatting but I couldn't help you with your sales copy unfortunately BUT there is a section here in the forums labelled Warriors For Hire ... I'm not sure if you can see it if you are not a War Room member ... just checked yes you can

    Here you can search for copywriters or content writers and you may find someone who can do the sales copy for you for a decent price. And can I just say that there are very good copywriters here just check out some of there testimonials from other warriors.

    As for Opt In pages, I suggest again searching the forum for relevant posts on the subject. Lots of warriors have been in similar situations and have come up with solutions to those problems and also recommended many products to help with these kind of problems.

    I hope this helps

    Darren
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    • Profile picture of the author TheAttraction
      Thanks for the offer to help me with the formatting - actually maybe you can teach me what i'm doing wrong

      I am using both coffeecup and kompozer to try to do things - what seems to be screwing up my formatting is the css style sheets! i can get the images to look decent on the wysisyg editors, but when i upload them, the style sheets screw them up,

      how do you correctly edit html with one of these editors and make it look the same online?

      and if it's more complicated than that, could you help me get the formatting correct? I'm sooo ready to get this website published and creating sales - i've spent allmy cash on this thing and i need it out there crankin man! ha

      here's the website again -

      secret-hypno.com/specialoffer

      thanks,
      David
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      • Profile picture of the author DarrenHill
        Hi David

        Without knowing exactly what you want to do it is hard to give specific advice.

        I am not 100% familiar with coffeecup or Kompozer but I guess they are like the many HTML editors out there. They are fine but it helps to know a bit about how things work behind the scenes. I am an old school designer (hand coding and all that )

        I have updated my details to include my skype details so you can contact me. It's probably better to talk with you on this to see what you need doing and what can be done to make it easier for you to do it in the future.

        I must admit I'm pretty busy during the week but not totally uncontactable. Just leave me a message if I'm not there and I can arrange a time when I will be.

        Regards

        Darren
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  • Profile picture of the author miked
    David:

    I use Coffee Cup, EditPlus, Dreamweaver, Homesite and a few others.... Be careful with using the Coffee Cup HTML visual editor - sometimes it really screws up the code.

    I think I see one problem - you are using both divs and tables to design. Which is ok, but your first table comes after several div tags. And I don't see a container div tag. The div tag that the table is in doesn't have an id. There isn't any formating for the div tag and thus the table.

    You could use a table to contain everything... but nested tables become a nightmare after a while.

    You just need to cleanup the code, use a table to contain everything, and move on.

    Regarding your copy, yeah, it really needs help.

    You should provide a powerful irrestiable offer in the headling... with a huge benefit. And the sub head should not be a bunch of ebooks for $$. I don't want ebooks, I want a solution to my problem....

    Your video is a little long... but you and Rachel have a great stick going! You two are funny together... and you are selling with a little humor. Fun to see in IM. You may have something there... it makes you different then all the others.

    Regarding the ebooks... don't sell ebooks... sell solutions... the solutions just happen to come in an ebook.

    And you don't have to sell all those ebooks to bump up the price. Your are trying to add quantity to increase value and thus increase price.

    Suggestion. To increase value and price, take one of the PLR products and make a video. You've got video ability. Create a Powerpoint, and then talk your way through it and video that. Have a transcript made of your video. More value.

    Add an mp3 or two that people can listen to anytime anywhere -- that automatically increases value and price.

    Looking at who buys this... I am confused. Is it someone who wants to be a hypnotist? Or someone who wants to stop smoking? Or someone who wants to take control of their life (control what)?

    If the answer is yes, then your market is too broad.

    The person who wants to stop smoking isn't interested in building confidence or increasing their memory.

    How about creating a product just for someone who wants to quit smoking?

    How about creating a product just for a guy who wants greater confidence around women so he can get a date instead of feeling like a loser and renting another video on Friday night? Thirty years ago, I just might have bought that!

    So, don't try to sell to everyone. Sell a training course, video, mp3, transcript, for $47 to specific niches.

    It would be fun! I love your YouTube video - have you and Rachel do your thing for each niche product, you could really have fun with this an create something different.

    Regarding the code, I think that I might be able to help you if Darren can't for some reason.

    And you can always find help in the Warrior products and Services section of this forum.

    I will send you a PM.

    Good Luck.

    Mike D.
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    • Profile picture of the author TheAttraction
      Hey Mike, sorry about that post, I cannot PM yet, they limit us new people that we cannot PM until we've posted 50 times! but again, that was careless my apologies, thanks so much again for your suggestions and everyone else's
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    Hi,

    I just comment on the copy (and the video):

    I don't find the headline believable, I really don't think I could learn hypnosis in one evening. If your claim is genuinely true then you want to present it later on. (This does depend on your market though, maybe people in it believe they could?)

    Your deck copy immediately alerts me to the fact you're selling something, if the traffic isn't already aware of this you will lose a lot of readers right there.

    Test it without the video, I couldn't make it through to the end. If you really want a video then scrap the music, don't show physical products when you're not selling them, and again, don't alert people that they're listening to a sales pitch. And you don't really want to use YouTube to host.

    Your body copy starts off well but it's almost irrelevant, I know you're selling, I'm probably not even going to read it.

    And again you're bringing up that you're selling something. If you want to take this route then you need to put some order buttons in straightaway. And this approach usually doesn't work on products much over $27.

    Your story's good but needs fleshing out.

    Don't ever have a link that takes them off your site.

    Don't use the word testimonial in your copy. Try something like 'What others say...'.

    The colorful 'Learn Hypnosis Now' cover stands out too much.

    Get rid of ALL the links.

    Don't know whether it's there intentionally but you don't want to try for a name squeeze on your sales page.

    Hope some of this helps.
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    Andrew Gould

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    • Profile picture of the author TheAttraction
      Andy, thanks so much i got a little carried away with trying to sell, i think it's a train wreck now that i look at it, but its my first attempt at building a mini site and all. I do appreciate your feedback very much. Thanks for spending the time to look through it and give me honest and constructive feedback. I appreciate it!

      Have a great rest of the weekend,
      David
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      • Profile picture of the author miked
        Originally Posted by TheAttraction View Post

        Andy, thanks so much i got a little carried away with trying to sell, i think it's a train wreck now that i look at it, but its my first attempt at building a mini site and all. I do appreciate your feedback very much. Thanks for spending the time to look through it and give me honest and constructive feedback. I appreciate it!

        Have a great rest of the weekend,
        David
        David:

        Don't beat yourself up too much. You said it is a train wreck (well, a couple of cars did fall off the track)...

        BUT you did something!

        You did more than probably 95% of the people who wish they could make money on-line, but never do anything. You had an idea, did some research, created a website, created a video, and put it up on-line.

        Congratulations!

        And think about what you learned. And think about what you discovered you need to learn.

        Keep plugged into this forum. Be careful about buying stuff and getting into a permanant "student" mode (always learning never doing).

        Learn some html so you can fix your html websites.

        Keep building websites.

        Learn how to write copy. Study great copy.

        Learn what your customers want in the marketplace (not what you want to sell, find out what they are already buying).

        Keep building websites.

        My biggest mistakes starting out was 1) learning way too much and not doing, and 2) camping on a single website.

        Keep building websites.

        You just got to keep focused and keep building website after website. Out of 10, most will do little to nothing. 2 or 3 will actually make you real money.

        Just don't give up. Keep focused, keep moving forward.

        And keep building websites.

        Mike D.
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  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    People don't want to pay $67 for a bunch of ebooks. And they
    won't.

    You're going down the wrong path throwing a bunch of crap
    on top of your offer to sweeten the deal.

    It's a start, as others have said, but a far cry from ready for
    prime time. Offer lacks focus and the letter is just kind of
    thrown together and incomplete. The graphics aren't bad,
    but your bonus books aren't in the same style and the effect
    is jarring.
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