need sales page critique

Write more copy. You have to put some effort into it. What
you have here is no more than an outline of your product.

Writing effective copy is not easy. If you want copy that sells,
you'll either have to work hard at it or hire a copywriter to
work hard at it for you.

The design is not going to work for you. You need to
punch it up by an order of magnitude.

Sales message:

Project the reader into the experience of creating beats
and getting paid for it. Paint the visual image.

Help them imagine themselves in a killer home studio
tricked out with all of their dream gear surrounding them,
all the toys they ever wanted to own... paid for by their beats.

Proof:

I'm guessing you don't have many/any testimonials yet.

In the interim...

Case studies of successful artists and producers who've
gone from their bedroom with a MPC to raking in big $.

Demonstrate the demand for beats by people and companies
that will pay - show them the money.

In terms of Copy:

There is none yet... just a few random thoughts and a buy button.

Hope this helps,

Brian

As a non copywriter take my advice with a pinch of salt, but take the info in this link with everything you have. http://www.warriorforum.com/copywrit...-critique.html

I believe if you can tick off 80% of the points in the thread you will have a decent non proffessional sales page.

This is more of a rough draft outline than a sales letter.

1st - You need a headline. There just plain isn't one there, or possibly there are 4 of them. YOu need to make your headline stand out; both for what it says and how it is formatted. Try a larger font, maybe some quotes, and possibly a contrasting color, such as red.

"Revealed! The Underground Secrets to Making Huge Money Selling Beats - and It's SO Easy, Once You Know How It's Done"
"Revealed! - How a Wet Behind the Ears Kid Went From Dead Broke to Making Thousands a Month Online...Almost Overnight, With Nothing But the Clothes on His Back!"
"Are You Sick and Tired of Not Getting the Money and Fame You Want for Your Beats? Those Days Are Over!"
"Tired of Banging Your Head Against the Wall, Trying to Sell Your Beats, Only to Be Ignored or Even Ridiculed? Ready to Finally Turn Things Around and Have the Money and Fame You've Dreamed Of? Your Old Friends Will Beg You to Let Them In On Your Secret, Once They Can Get Past All Your New Friends!"

2nd - Try some formatting and bolding your subheads so they stand out a bit. Some of the subheads could be your headline.

3rd - Right now it is just a table of contents. You need create benefits from the features and add some emotional pull to your benefits. Remember, benefits sell, and people buy from emotion.
Instead of "Negotiating With Artists" use something like "Does negotiating with artists make you feel like a babe in the woods? You'll finally have the upper hand with the negotiating secrets that are revealed in this special, insider's report. They'll be no more feeling like you should be lucky to get anything. You'll be the one with the seat at the head of the table now!"

You get the picture.