Critique Requested

Below is some copy I've churned out for a little venture I'm considering trying. I'd love to get some feedback on the copy.

What I'm struggling with is how much detail to provide about some of the technical things. Considering I'm giving the website away for free, I don't feel like there's a huge need to over educate in the sales letter. And I'm sending the report will be a really detailed report on a bunch of stuff (related to services I can sell in the future).

Anyway, If you fine folks have a few minutes please give a quick read and provide some feedback.

Thanks,
Paul




Time is money. I know you're busy, so I'll get right to the point. I'm offering a free website for your business. Unbelievable, right? Well I'm not going to insult your intelligence. The website is free, but you will have to pay a monthly fee to host it with me. But you'd have to pay this fee regardless, so I really am giving you a free website.

If I've done my homework, you don't have a website for your business. (After all it would be kind of silly to offer this to a business that has one). You've probably got a good reason for not having a site... Maybe you've got all the business you can handle... Maybe you don't think this "internet thing" is going to take off... Maybe no one has explained how to use a website to attract more customers and get more sales. Well if you'll give me 5 minutes of your time, I'll tell you exactly how to use this free website to get more customers.

Lead Generation

There's nothing more powerful than capturing the contact information of a potential customer, when you know what to do with it... Luckily the internet makes it insanely easy to communicate. All you need to do is get their permission to email them, typically by giving away something beneficial (as simple as a coupon), and you can now get them into your sales process via email.

Why is that important? Because you can easily email them automatically, whenever you want, with whatever message you want them to hear, for almost no cost. Think it's all to complicated? Believe me, it isn't. In fact, I'll explain in detail, via video, for FREE... but more on that later.

So how do you get these leads to your website? There's a bunch of different ways. You can direct them there via your advertising (print, radio, TV, or internet). You can rank highly on search engines, like Google, for keywords related to your business. Then people will click on your website and discover you. (This is called Search Engine Optimization, or SEO for short). Just remember, getting the lead is critical, and there's no easier way to do it than with a website.

Direct Sales

While getting a lead is awesome, what about making direct sales via the internet? Whether you sell a service or physical products, the internet is a powerful way to sell. The great thing is it's automatic. It literally sells while you sleep. It's like direct mail on steroids.

Credibility

Nowadays you really have to have a website to be relevant. Did you know that more than 70% of people will search the internet prior to making a buying decision. If they don't find you, it's kind of hard for them to buy from you, isn't it?

I said 5 minutes and I know my time is almost up... So it's time tell you how you can get this free website.

All you need to do is fill out the form below with your name, address, email address and you'll be sent the instructions. Don't worry, it's super simple.

Oh, I almost forgot. You'll also get an awesome report detailing 6 ways to boost profits with a website. And remember that video I told you about earlier, well you'll get that too.

So fill out the form below and I'll be in touch shortly with the next steps.