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17 years ago

...when you look in your kitchen cabinet to find niche ideas.

Originally Posted by Sven Schoene

You know you're an Internet marketer, when...

...you have to help your 11-year old son to write an essay about Abraham Lincoln for school and it ends up sounding like a sales-letter selling Abraham Lincoln.

...when you move out of your house you post a WSO to get rid of your old couch you don't want to take with you.

...you give Google AdWord-coupons as a gift to your wife at christmas.

...you have the WarriorForum as your browser's start-page.

...you are disappointed every time you buy at Walmart that you don't get a free bonus together with your purchase.

...you're best friend is asking you to help him finding a buyer for his old PC, you ask him for the affiliate link.

...instead of using Google you use the Google Keyword Research tool.

...you try to put AdSense on your Facebook-page.

...your friends have forbidden you from emailing them because you include affiliate links in your personals emails.

...you know more names of famous Internet marketers than politicians.

...you would rather spend money on good advertising than a great holiday with your family.

...you feel like people are stupid every time someone asks what you're doing for a living.

...you speak to your friends so that your sentences contain a high keyword-density for your main niche.

...everytime someone says to you "I'm interested in xxx" you answer by "Well, this isn't a profitable niche."

...your wife is mad at you because everytime you come up with a new idea for a product you instantly register ten domain-names.

...you plan your holiday like a product launch.

...you treat your friends like your email-list.

...you ask everybody you meet for their first name and email address.

...you value people by the size of their list.

...your wife gets angry at you for not helping around the house you just reply "Honey, just try to outsource it."

...you always look for a hidden membership-program every time a friend offers you help for free.

Feel free to add more!

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Joanne Greco 17 years ago

...nobody believes you when you tell them how you make money.
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- Corwinnx 17 years ago
  
  When you see the algorithms in the crossword puzzle and wonder if the key to Googles is somewhere within.
  
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BlackWaterBlog

17 years ago

Yup, I sense a legendary thread in the making. Definitely subscribing and bookmarking this thread to keep an eye on it. Was laughing so hard at the ones OP made.

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Amber Jalink

17 years ago

LOL! You guys mind if I post this on one of my sites?

I can link back to you

Here's a few I had sitting on my pc from ages ago...

.. if you take your laptop to the bathroom instead of a newspaper

... when the word "viral" is used in the offline world, you automatically think "viral marketing" rather than sickness as the person meant.

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AdamHolland 17 years ago

Originally Posted by dimeco

.. if you take your laptop to the bathroom instead of a newspaper

Omfg - I so glad someone else does this and not just me.. haha

Newspaper? what's THAT!?

Adam Holland
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stgga

17 years ago

...can't watch TV without commenting on the commercials and seeing how you could do better.

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jalamo

17 years ago

Sven---AWESOME post! I really enjoyed reading that, and the best part is we all can relate

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1 reply

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Steve Campbell 17 years ago

Originally Posted by jalamo

Sven---AWESOME post! I really enjoyed reading that, and the best part is we all can relate

Definitely 'laughed out loud' for a lot of those. So true..
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Sheryl Polomka

17 years ago

.....when you're kids ask if they can do a job to earn pocket money you tell them to build a blog.....

.....when you're husband complains that you spend more time with the laptop than with him.....

.....when the ironing starts piling up around your desk and never gets done....

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Sheryl Polomka

17 years ago

...you feel like people are stupid every time someone asks what you're doing for a living.

I love this one, I do feel stupid every time someone asks what I do, then you have to try and explain it and they really just have no idea

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~~ TOP PETZ ~~

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RobertAxelsen 17 years ago

Great thread, Sven!!! Thx a lot

Originally Posted by Sheryl Polomka

I love this one, I do feel stupid every time someone asks what I do, then you have to try and explain it and they really just have no idea

Me too. Can sooo relate to this one. I have recently just started replying "I'm in marketing"

...you get irritated that sales in off-line shops are advertised with only a simple "SALES" sign, and not "SALE: Offer Ends Today. Limited Stock."
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hangtimenino

17 years ago

when you always consider everyday stuff, as a possible niche.lol

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globalpro

17 years ago

- you jump the clerk in the store when you buy something and they don't try to upsell you.

Thanks,

John

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1 reply

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JohnMcCabe 17 years ago

... when people on other continents recognize your name, and your next-door neighbor doesn't.
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Eric Stanley

17 years ago

... when your GA fails to report your KPIs of your PPC campaign and you worry about how you spent too much time worrying about your SEM skills when you really should be concerned with your SMM skills, not to mention the lack of taking advantage of CPA and learning how to maximize your ROI with CPM and PPV campaigns...

Just another day at the office... yawn..

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jestershaw

17 years ago

Awesome, I can't believe that I read this out loud and didn't miss a thing. Us IM'ers are the new GEEKS!!!

...when you tweet to your family that you are getting married...true story.

Originally Posted by Eric Stanley

... when your GA fails to report your KPIs of your PPC campaign and you worry about how you spent too much time worrying about your SEM skills when you really should be concerned with your SMM skills, not to mention the lack of taking advantage of CPA and learning how to maximize your ROI with CPM and PPV campaigns...

Just another day at the office... yawn..

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Gclunis

17 years ago

Originally Posted by Eric Stanley

... when your GA fails to report your KPIs of your PPC campaign and you worry about how you spent too much time worrying about your SEM skills when you really should be concerned with your SMM skills, not to mention the lack of taking advantage of CPA and learning how to maximize your ROI with CPM and PPV campaigns...

Just another day at the office... yawn..

...when you can understand that statement as easily as you understand a sentence in your main language.

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reapr 17 years ago

Your more concerned about what is on primetime ustream than primetime tv.

The thought of your computer going dead is more troublesome than the tv doing the same.

Power goes out longer than it takes to get a cup of coffee and you get shaky.

When a friend asks how many domains you have you might say a couple of dozen active ones and a few spares laying around but not sure how many.

When you think its 1am and its 6am.

Every new gadget or toy the kids bring home the conversations usually begins with how popular is that and where can you get it.
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CurtisN

17 years ago

...your social life consists of posting in the OT section instead of the main forums.

...you turn a sickly shade of green and start shivering when you're disconnected from the Internet for too long.

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genietoast 17 years ago

...when people say they hate traffic, you gasp in horror.
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- DarioMontesdeOca 17 years ago
  
  All I can say is WOW.
  
  I've been Laughing My A** Off at every other reply because I can relate!
  
  My favorites from the list so far...
  
  ...you know more names of famous Internet marketers than politicians.
  ...you plan your holiday like a product launch.
  ...you title the birthday cards you send out with "SHOCKING REPORT!".
  ...your friends ask you why you don't get a "real job" and you just reply "The ROI is not worth it."
  
  - Sven Schoene
  
  ... when the word "viral" is used in the offline world, you automatically think "viral marketing" rather than sickness as the person meant.
  (I HAVE THOUGHT THE EXACT SAME THING!)
  
  - dimeco
  
  ...when people say they hate traffic, you gasp in horror.
  
  - genietoast
  
  ...you get out of bed at 2pm, bleary eyed, and walk in a direct line from the bed to the PC.
  ...you go to bed at 4am, bleary eyed, and walk in a direct line from the PC to the bed.
  
  - ramone johnny
  
  You pick up the snail mail and wonder if you opted in or not?
  
  - Michael Mayo
  
  .. you see a billboard while driving and immediately ask yourself what the clickthrough rate and CPM could be
  
  - sbyholm
  
  ...When you actually read every single word in this thread because you find it funny.
  
  - Slyknight
  
  -When your wife wants to cuddle to sleep after lovemaking, but you just GOTTA get up and go check your stats.
  (THAT IS JUST WRONG. LOL!)
  
  - kadensnga
  
  When you 'grade' advertisements you see during the day.
  
  - Michael Motley
  
  -- When you your wife is upset and asks you a question, you think about split-testing your reply...
  
  - dave830
  
  .............. you work at all odd hours!
  
  - Poppy61
  
  Thank you Warriors for posting these. And thank you Sven Schoene for starting this thread, this post made my night!
  
  Dario
  
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- James Seward 17 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by genietoast
  
  ...when people say they hate traffic, you gasp in horror.
  
  Ok that was funny :p
  
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Ben_Curtis

17 years ago

When you gotta get out of bed to write down an idea for an ebook you thought of as you went to sleep...........

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neruos

17 years ago

... you give your spouse a timed offer for dinner at a fancy restaurant and if they do not make up their mind in 2 hours take them to Burger King instead

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Guitarnut

17 years ago

when you go to bed when everyone else is getting up.

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Jeremy Morgan 17 years ago

... you tell your friends who own brick and mortar businesses ideas on how to get more "traffic" and don't even realize it.

... you can't watch TV without running over to google and checking keywords for something you saw on tv

... your IM buddy list is empty until noon

Great idea!
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T.I.M.

17 years ago

When you tell everyone you're signing up for/just signed up for an online coaching program and the first words out of everyones mouth are "Is it a scam"?

Originally Posted by Sven Schoene

You know you're an Internet marketer, when...

...your friends have forbidden you from emailing them because you include affiliate links in your personals emails.

Funny because I was trying to help a friend sign up for hosting and sent him a hosting company w/ aff link and when he texted I told him to check in the spam.... there it was LOL

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taberdude2 17 years ago

When you try to explain to your spouse/significant other (who is a non im'er) what you do all day on the computer and his or her eyes glaze over.
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Doug McIsaac

17 years ago

...when you've done five figure launches with people you've never met
...when you're planning a 7 figure launch with people you've never met face to face and you don't think it's THAT unusual :-)

Doug

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Pete223

17 years ago

... when your wife creates a Warrior profile to PM you

Thanks for the laugh guys!!!

Cheers, Pete

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thegamesonline.com

17 years ago

when you feel no life, your eyes tired, your low back pain, but you don't need to worry about money.

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Clayton Jolin

17 years ago

...When you BUMP your local classifieds as soon as they hit the Page 3.

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zuberr

17 years ago

... when you start to have fat accumulating at the tummy area because you spend too many hours in front of the 2 big screens (TV and PC)

... when you wake up in the morning, brush your teeth, have your breakfast and then go for another one hour nap

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John Taylor

17 years ago

- When you try to pay for your goceries with your Paypal account.

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BlackWaterBlog 17 years ago

Originally Posted by John Taylor

- When you try to pay for your goceries with your Paypal account.

I actually think this one is possible. I've heard about online grocery stores that you can pay for and have the food delivered right to your door. Not sure if Paypal is a method of payment, but could be!
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George Wright 17 years ago

John,

I haven't used anything but my paypal account (paypal debit card) to pay for groceries in years.

George Wright

Originally Posted by John Taylor

- When you try to pay for your goceries with your Paypal account.
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Igor Kheifets

17 years ago

LMAO!

This one is going to my blog!!! LOL!

Igor

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Joeman

Banned 17 years ago

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aneel90

17 years ago

Originally Posted by Joeman

... when you get up in the morning and turn on your laptop before you clean your teeth.

... you spend the hottest day of the year locked away in your house glued to your PC.

... people wearing suits look at your oddly as you wander about in t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops in the middle of the day.

... everyone in your neighbourhood assumes you're unemployed as they never see you going to work

... you spend more per month on hosting your websites than you do on food!

^^ all from personal experience...

wow I can so relate especially with this post... lol!

thanx guys!

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John Boyd

17 years ago

Originally Posted by Joeman

... when you get up in the morning and turn on your laptop before you clean your teeth.

... you spend the hottest day of the year locked away in your house glued to your PC.

... people wearing suits look at your oddly as you wander about in t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops in the middle of the day.

... everyone in your neighbourhood assumes you're unemployed as they never see you going to work

... you spend more per month on hosting your websites than you do on food!

^^ all from personal experience...

Good one Joeman!

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shirland

17 years ago

Originally Posted by Joeman

... when you get up in the morning and turn on your laptop before you clean your teeth.

... you spend the hottest day of the year locked away in your house glued to your PC.

... people wearing suits look at your oddly as you wander about in t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops in the middle of the day.

... everyone in your neighbourhood assumes you're unemployed as they never see you going to work

... you spend more per month on hosting your websites than you do on food!

^^ all from personal experience...

All of my neighbors do give me strange looks when I am running in the morning everyday and my car hardly ever move from it spot in front of the house.

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wbakhos

17 years ago

Originally Posted by Joeman

... people wearing suits look at your oddly as you wander about in t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops in the middle of the day.

... everyone in your neighbourhood assumes you're unemployed as they never see you going to work

This is me!! so funny I saw myself in this post

great stuff

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Michael Tracey

17 years ago

When you skype your wife whose computer is a short passage away

Michael

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Chris_Willow

17 years ago

...you've got a bunch of unused domains laying around

...you've started blogging about internet marketing (if you aren't you're not an IMer

)

...your friends think you've got super powers when you're getting "payment received" notifications on your blackberry while sitting at a bar.

...you've spent more than $1000 on various IM courses and ebooks

...you work late and sleep till noon

Chris

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ghyphena

17 years ago

...you've had to define "e-book" over 500 times

...you're shocked when people you talk to don't know what Google Adwords is ("you know, the little ones at the side...")

...you have to explain, over and over, that copywriting has nothing to do with intellectual property protection

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cypherslock

17 years ago

You know you're an Internet marketer when you've made your first money online, can show the proof and yet people still ask when you're going to get a "real J-O-B?"

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Brad Gosse

17 years ago

-- your neighbor asks you if your "webmastr" license plate is a spiderman reference

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TorontoCarol

17 years ago

your kids want you to babysit or go out with them every day since you're at home and seem to be doing nothing.

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Killer Joe 17 years ago

When all your email subject lines to your freinds start with "Bad News".

You pay your kids' allowances with your PayPal account.

They ask you "Paper or plastic?" and think "No download?".

You just Tweeted "What's for dinner?"

You get back from a restaurant and immediately file a chargeback.

The sperm guard on your keyboard hasn't been used in months.

KJ
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Susan Hope 17 years ago

Originally Posted by TorontoCarol

your kids want you to babysit or go out with them every day since you're at home and seem to be doing nothing.

I can so relate to this one (well most of the others as well LOL) but this one, wow, I have had to say to my daughter on a few occasions "If I held down a 9 to 5 job outside of the home, you wouldn't be able to ask me to do that, and that and that and that etc.." she still doesn't really get it, I can tell "yeah but Mum, it will only take you 30 minutes to run that "whatever item" over to me"..

OK I am too much of a soft touch I think..

Sue
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ken_p

17 years ago

if you spend at least 2 hours in the computer everyday.:-)

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CDarklock

17 years ago

...you get more email from opt-in lists than you get in your spam folder.

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xohaibx

17 years ago

Absolutely hilarious! lol

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yves

17 years ago

When you develop a strange ability to bring ANY conversation topic back to IM.

When your friends and family know this is a certainty and are through with being polite

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Michael Mayo 17 years ago

You know you're an Internet marketer, when...

you successfully stop your children from crying with a One Time Offer.

You purchase something in a brick and motor store and leave it thinking you can download it later.

Your wife tells you the grass needs to be cut and you outsource the job.

You receive a call from a salesman and end up selling them something.

You pick up the snail mail and wonder if you opted in or not?

Have a Great Day!
Michael
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brendgard 17 years ago

.... When GoDaddy sends you birthday, and Christmas cards

.... When you get them you think "wtf, when did they start making paper ones?"

Ouch, a little too close to home there, not funny, seriously, not funny guys! Why are you laughing and pointing at me?
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anth.elias 17 years ago

When consider regular everyday conversation with people as content and want to put it on you Word Press Blog.
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michelle0804 17 years ago

An internet marketer must know how IM really works.The basic,strategy,sales and get earnings from working hard online.
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- Lisa Gergets 17 years ago
  
  ...your husband begins giving the netbook dirty looks.
  
  ...your son hides said netbook to get some time with you.
  
  ...you begin to think that insuring your netbook with Lloyds of London is maybe not so extreme.
  
  ...you get butterflies in your stomach not from your mate, but from finding the perfect niche phrase.
  
  ...your netbook is at your bedside so that you can check stats upon waking or look up a niche you dreamed about.
  
  ...you have to physically step away from the computer while looking at WSO's.
  
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- George Wright 17 years ago
  
  When you see someone posting oneliners that don't fit the thread but you don't hit the report this thread button because you're just having too much fun reading this thread.
  
  Originally Posted by michelle0804
  
  An internet marketer must know how IM really works.The basic,strategy,sales and get earnings from working hard online.
  
  EDIT: When you go back to notice they have gone from 7 posts to 10 posts in the time it took you to make this post, and you start to get annoyed because ther post average is 10 posts per day and they only have 10 posts. And you think WOW at this rate they will be banned form here in about 5 minutes.
  
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crissanteiro

17 years ago

you don't leave your house and your computer for 3 days in a row...

you discover an IM secret and feel like you "cracked the code"...

you wonder why people still want to have other jobs...

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John Romaine

17 years ago

...you get out of bed at 2pm, bleary eyed, and walk in a direct line from the bed to the PC.

...you go to bed at 4am, bleary eyed, and walk in a direct line from the PC to the bed.

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metaphors

17 years ago

Can't visit a website without seeing how it is being monetized.

you have to explain to your friends that if they click on that link someone makes 50 cents to 3 dollars.

you have more than 10 email addresses.

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George Wright

17 years ago

When you tell your friend that the simple solution to his immediate financial dilemma is to write an ebook and sell it online. ("Just write about your passion.")

When you can't understand why the GREAT website you put up to wish your friend Happy Anniversary wasn't clicked on more than once. (Don't they show it to EVERYONE)

When you fall asleep at the keyboard and wake up to see a complete 450 page article on your latest "passion."

When you finally let a URL expire after not using it for 4 years and still feel like you've lost a child. And, when you feel bitter toward the terrible person who registered that URL you let expire. (Kidnapper)

When you HAVE to have the Internet and email feature on your cell phone.

When you wake up in the middle of the night and register the GREAT URL that popped up in a dream, and later wonder what it means. Just two of mine, long since expired, were xoflax.com and investingurl.com ..... what the heck is a xoflax?

When your host goes down for 5 minutes and you think it's the end of your world as you know it.

When it's time to pay for hosting and it's either hosting or eating. Paying the hosting is a no brainer.

When you could set and type answers to this thread and others can come up with more answers and there is very little Dupe Content.

George Wright

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Mike Hill

17 years ago

Originally Posted by Sven Schoene

You know you're an Internet marketer, when...

...you have to help your 11-year old son to write an essay about Abraham Lincoln for school and it ends up sounding like a sales-letter selling Abraham Lincoln.

...when you move out of your house you post a WSO to get rid of your old couch you don't want to take with you.

...you give Google AdWord-coupons as a gift to your wife at christmas.

...you have the WarriorForum as your browser's start-page.

...you are disappointed every time you buy at Walmart that you don't get a free bonus together with your purchase.

...you're best friend is asking you to help him finding a buyer for his old PC, you ask him for the affiliate link.

...instead of using Google you use the Google Keyword Research tool.

...you try to put AdSense on your Facebook-page.

...your friends have forbidden you from emailing them because you include affiliate links in your personals emails.

...you know more names of famous Internet marketers than politicians.

...you would rather spend money on good advertising than a great holiday with your family.

...you feel like people are stupid every time someone asks what you're doing for a living.

...you speak to your friends so that your sentences contain a high keyword-density for your main niche.

...everytime someone says to you "I'm interested in xxx" you answer by "Well, this isn't a profitable niche."

...your wife is mad at you because everytime you come up with a new idea for a product you instantly register ten domain-names.

...you plan your holiday like a product launch.

...you treat your friends like your email-list.

...you ask everybody you meet for their first name and email address.

...you value people by the size of their list.

...your wife gets angry at you for not helping around the house you just reply "Honey, just try to outsource it."

...you always look for a hidden membership-program every time a friend offers you help for free.

Feel free to add more!

Ha... this is classic

I remember helping my 12 year old son with a few projects and all of them sounded like sales letters... Then he came home one day and had to develop an infomercial - I was in heaven and together we created a dam good infomercial.

Needless to say he got an A+

I find my internet marketing skills are used every day in everything I do anywhere at any time... LOL

Mike Hill

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1 reply

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brucemcc

17 years ago

Originally Posted by Mike Hill

Ha... this is classic

I remember helping my 12 year old son with a few projects and all of them sounded like sales letters... Then he came home one day and had to develop an infomercial - I was in heaven and together we created a dam good infomercial.

Needless to say he got an A+

I find my internet marketing skills are used every day in everything I do anywhere at any time... LOL

Mike Hill

I can relate to this one. My son had to do a report on Winston Churchill. He said he could put the report on a website instead of turning in a printed copy. I was in heaven.
20thCenturyHero dot com

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Gclunis

17 years ago

..when you start reading books on business and IM and actually find the interesting.

..when you can sit and read a 200 page report on how to improve your traffic and actually take something away from it.

..when you have dreams about what you should be doing next to improve your business.

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visiontodream

17 years ago

ha! That is great!

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hipnol

17 years ago

never ending awesome laughter list... thanks everyone

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jayguy

17 years ago

You don´t shave for a week!

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sbyholm

17 years ago

.. when someone in the marketing dept (at your day job) has a new product idea and you immediately use the Google keyword tool to see of there is a market for it.
.. when you make a website ranking well on Google to sell your car
.. you get snail mail from a local business and you almost call them to suggest using a bigger font and a clear call to action.
.. you can't visit a website without asking yourself how it's monetized
.. you see a billboard while driving and immediately ask yourself what the clickthrough rate and CPM could be

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Mr Eagle

17 years ago

...When you start you copy with" Dear friend "as if you have met the person before

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daver99

17 years ago

.... When you "split test" your Dunkin Donuts order to see which prompts a faster response!

.... When you your wife asks you to "pass the ketchup" and you throw in a "one time offer" that leads to a continuity program!

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Russ Reynolds

17 years ago

...you finish every conversation with 'But if you act now, in the next 10 minutes'

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googlerankingexpert

Banned 17 years ago

This is an awesome post Sven. Most of this stuff I don't do though, hahaha

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Alminc

17 years ago

... when your wife can't get pregnant and you start thinking how to generate more
'targeted traffic' or how to improve her 'conversion rate'

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Slyknight

17 years ago

...When you actually read every single word in this thread because you find it funny.

...When you wake up and feel annoyed about having to delete all these Payment Notification e-mails.

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Arunabh Singh

17 years ago

When you go to bed money making ideas are floating in your mind.

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Emily Meeks

17 years ago

When you wonder why chain stores don't hold Giveaway Events.

When you start giving friends Free Reports when they ask for advice.

When your children tell their teachers they'll do a 500-word assignment for $20 (but if they act RIGHT NOW...)

Your husband thinks you're a shopaholic because all you ever do is browse WSOs.

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sega001

17 years ago

. . when your on vacation and the hotel your staying at has a computer room and you find yourself staying there all night on the web

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kswr123

17 years ago

...When you spend so much time on the computer that you have to bury it when it eventually dies

...When you speak in abbreviations (PPC, SEO, MMR, WSO) to people who have NO idea what you are talking about

...When you GASP at the idea of NOT having a website

...You who is lookup websites that your friends own

...You use Google for anything other than a search engine

...You use youtube for something other than watching Lolcats

...You wish there was a 'Hello' magazine for im celebrities

...You choke when people tell you they have no idea what article marketing is

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Kezz 17 years ago

Originally Posted by Mubarak Waseem

...You wish there was a 'Hello' magazine for im celebrities

By the way someone should totally do that. It would be HUGE, don't you think? Of course it would have to be an ezine - paid access to content anyone?
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kswr123

17 years ago

When you think of improving the conversion or Click-thru rate of your homework assignments :S

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Gclunis

17 years ago

..you finish your work day early and still spend hours just browsing through the warrior forums.

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elle56

17 years ago

This is hilarious but true! If I try to explain what I do online with my mom, she'll give me that blank stare as if I'm talking gibberish.

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Harvey Segal 17 years ago

. . . when your note to the milkman contains bullet points

Harvey
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Marc Jager

17 years ago

*LMAO* @ the OP - Thanks for cheering me up at work.

*LOL* @ genietoast's "...when people say they hate traffic, you gasp in horror."

*LOL* @ Ben_Curtis' "When you gotta get out of bed to write down an idea for an ebook you thought of as you went to sleep..........."

Which brings me to mine - ...when you go to sleep Your dreams consist only of IM related matters(I get a lot of good ideas in bed)

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falcon_warrior

17 years ago

Nice ones XD

.....when you draw a Johnson box around everything you want others to put their attention to

...when you meet new people you automatically ask for their email addresses

...you tell everyone "I bought this before. Guess what I found?"

...you ask for the 'conversion rate' when applying to college/a job/whatever that has a percentage chance of getting into

...you tend to click the "ok" instead of the "cancel" button in a popup

...you write an article in 7 minutes, and feel good about it

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George Tee

17 years ago

.. when you think that everyone in university is STUPIDLY struggling to get a perfect GPA so that they can ensure a good career.

.. when everything in your eyes everywhere is about opportunities, risk and money..

.. when you buy domains like the way you eat apples. "a domain a day keeps the doctor away. "

.. when everyone is out at work and you are the only one at home.

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TorontoCarol

17 years ago

...when you see a great bargain at the store and immediately wonder how much you could sell it for on eBay.
..... when you hear that a relative or friend is having financial problems, you immediately think how they could sell their expertise online.
----when you can't figure out why offline businesses can't see the need to update their websites or do things to get traffic.
...when you love those times when the family all go out and leave you and your computer alone together for awhile.

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John Durham 17 years ago

.

- when you have been telling yourself for 2 hours that you're gonna go get a starbucks in a few minutes, and you're still at your pc.

-when you finally get there you order 5 coffee's so you wont have to get up again for 15 hours straight.

- when you didn't even know it was a national holiday until the day arrived and someone told you "Today is a holiday"... and you are like "DAMN that sucks"!!

-When your wife wants to cuddle to sleep after lovemaking, but you just GOTTA get up and go check your stats.

-When she say's "we need to spend more time together" and you suggest working side by side on an adwords campaign telling her "it'll be fun".

Finally,

- When your kids say "Dad, I want to go to college" and you respond "where's the future in that..."?

.
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Gee S

17 years ago

- When you spend more time on the Warrior Forum, than you do with your partner!

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vneely 17 years ago

... you skim through magazines for profitable niche ideas.

... you actually read your junk mail to study their advertising techniques.

... you get excited about a new hobby because not only is it fun, you plan to write and sell an eBook about it.

... your skin crawls when you think about getting a "real job."
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Michael Motley

17 years ago

When you find yourself critiqueing tv commercials

When you give telemarketers feedback when they call

When you 'grade' advertisements you see during the day.

When spam doesn't piss you off because you get it, but because of sloppy execution (and you mail the originator with feedback)

Thanks
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John Durham 17 years ago

Originally Posted by Michael Motley

When spam doesn't piss you off because you get it, but because of sloppy execution (and you mail the originator with feedback)

Yeah. lol When you are "impressed with good spam campaigns".
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dave830

17 years ago

-- When you your wife is upset and asks you a question, you think about split-testing your reply...

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Michael Motley

17 years ago

I find myself forever checking out marketing, even offline.

For instance i was sitting at a stoplight the other day at a fairly busy intersection. It occurred to me that within my field if vision there were over 85 advertisements in the form of billboards at varying heights and i tell my girlfriend this, then start talking about how height, lit vs non-lit, colors, location from intersection, type of billboard being used could possibly effect the various ads.

Here eyes glazed over in the same fashion mine do when she starts talking about shoes.

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Poppy61

17 years ago

.............. you work at all odd hours!
..............you work in your bathroom slippers!
..............get up at 4 am to check your paypal account or how many sales you have made
..............find it difficult to explain people what you do
..............think of hot niches before you finally fall asleep

That's me!

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John Willer

17 years ago

A lot of these hit home!

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Kezz

17 years ago

When the only sign that you ever move is the RSI in your mouse wrist.

When you have the Vitamin D levels of a 90 year old in a home.

When someone tells you they're having financial trouble, and your first thought is what ebook topic to suggest to them.

When instead of buying gifts for people you build them a website - the gift that keeps on giving.

Thanks

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kswr123

17 years ago

When you give a bum some money, hoping that the 'law of reciprocity' will come into play, and he'll give you his millions some day...

When you have an Aweber list with all your friends and family on it, so you can just mail them all with your latest updates

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GregtheWriter

17 years ago

when all your friends are marketers and love them all for all the free stuff they give each other.

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Sven Schoene 17 years ago

[DELETED]

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- Dan C. Rinnert 17 years ago
  
  ...when you think fast food joints could sell more food if they posted details of their current specials on their websites instead of only in their TV ads.
  
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Calvin Woon

17 years ago

when you are travelling on a vacation and you're using a laptop on a beach desperately trying to send out an email promo for your friend's launch

gosh.. I'm really loving this! LOL.. thanks Warriors for the great laugh!

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Calvin Woon

17 years ago

when you go to sleep at night with your laptop switched on beside you..

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BradCarroll

17 years ago

...when your daughter tries to wake you up and you say, "Quit yelling keywords at me!"

...when you are half-awake and looking at your cat, thinking about how he does keywords and marketing.

My girlfriend did the first one and I have done the second. Seems like there are a few more but these two really stand out.

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enrikole

17 years ago

This is probably the funniest thread I've read in months. LOL

-- When you your wife is upset and asks you a question, you think about split-testing your reply...

my favorite

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mikemcmillan

17 years ago

Gads this is the most entertainment I've seen here in forever. Sven, this one you gave-- "...you have a link to your opt-in-page on your business card." oh my gosh, what a gem!

The only one I can think of is... When you go to the grocery store and see a sign saying "new product" over an item, and you ask the manager for the link to the leader board and affiliate page.

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blackballarena

17 years ago

When you sleep by your laptop, and first thing when you wake up, is to see if there are any new WSOs that you want.

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iw

17 years ago

after having your breakfast, start your daily activity with checking stats and traffic..

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Kezz 17 years ago

Originally Posted by iw

after having your breakfast, start your daily activity with checking stats and traffic..

Or in my case, before breakfast....

Man, I'm hungry and I need coffee!

Which reminds me of another one.

"When you drink at least five times the healthy allowance of coffee per day"
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BurgerBoy

17 years ago

When you quit your day job and sit at your computer at home all day and night trying to make easy money - and find out that you work harder at home than you did when you had a day job.

When your wife tells you to mow the yard instead of playing at the computer all day and you tell her that as long as the grass is not as tall as the house we can still find where we live and if it gets taller than the house we can still find the house because we know it's at the back of the lot with the tall weeds in the neighborhood.

When you wife doesn't even try to get you to eat with the family anymore - she just brings your plate to you at your computer.

When company comes over your wife has to entertainment them by herself because you stay at the computer - and close the door to the room - because they are making so much noise you can't think.

It makes you mad when you're in the middle of doing something to your website and you have to go to the bathroom.

When you buy a walkie-talkie set and tell your wife to keep hers with her at all times so if you need some coffee or something you can call her and tell her without having to leave the computer and what you're working on.

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Festinho

17 years ago

...you make ur first sale :-)
- your friends look at u suspiciously
- you stop having time for idle friends

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patlondon

17 years ago

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patlondon 17 years ago

Very funny- especially the getting a free upgrade with purchase at Walmart!

I'd also add that you know you're a marketer when it takes you till midnite to even get that first cup o coffee cause you wanted to check your stats real quick first!
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DougBarger

17 years ago

....When your family member calls you and asks you if they can talk to you for a minute and you find yourself either pitching them on your coaching program or ask them to submit a support ticket at the help desk.

...Your barber or hair stylist makes the usual small talk and ends up becoming your latest offline gold client

...You go to the bookstores and insert your business cards into the books that deal with how to make money, the internet, marketing, etc.

...You pay your weekly tithe sending the pastor your 10% via paypal and write "tithe" in the subject line.

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howudoin

17 years ago

....When you look at recent successful online models (like Twitter) and think how to better that idea to make your first billion

Bhupinder

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Thomas Wilkinson

17 years ago

You phone your elderly Mother at 4:00 am to celebrate getting
Filezilla to work properly.

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Raiel Schwartz

17 years ago

When you pay someone to do your homework and call it outsourcing <--- True Story

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ChrisBa

17 years ago

good share!

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Kim Standerline

17 years ago

You buy the grandkids a pony and whilst watching your friend schooling it have a brilliant idea for a membership site (that was me yesterday lol)

Kim

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Shane Hale

17 years ago

You look for traffic stats in the morning paper...

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JohnMcCabe

17 years ago

> When you and your wife email each other, even though you're only sitting 20 feet apart.

> When that isn't working, you consider teaching her about Instant Messaging...

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Chris Faraday

17 years ago

You freak out!!! When you misplace your dictation machine... =0

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homebasedmom

17 years ago

I have still a lot to learn to be called Internet marketer. I don't consider myself as one cause I am still on the process of gathering info's and tips on how to be one.

Eventually soon I will get there.

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AnubisSeth

17 years ago

when you see yourself in almost each of these posts, laugh hysterically, and then proceed to get depro because its now over

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avani

17 years ago

When you see "IM" and you think it stands for "Internet Marketing".

When you read that and think "but of course, what else could it possibly stand for?!"...

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DougBarger

17 years ago

When you walk to your mailbox and smile because instead of another bill,
it's another clickbank check.

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