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#internet #marketer
  • Profile picture of the author Ron.
    ...when you look in your kitchen cabinet to find niche ideas.


    Originally Posted by Sven Schoene View Post

    You know you're an Internet marketer, when...

    ...you have to help your 11-year old son to write an essay about Abraham Lincoln for school and it ends up sounding like a sales-letter selling Abraham Lincoln.

    ...when you move out of your house you post a WSO to get rid of your old couch you don't want to take with you.

    ...you give Google AdWord-coupons as a gift to your wife at christmas.

    ...you have the WarriorForum as your browser's start-page.

    ...you are disappointed every time you buy at Walmart that you don't get a free bonus together with your purchase.

    ...you're best friend is asking you to help him finding a buyer for his old PC, you ask him for the affiliate link.

    ...instead of using Google you use the Google Keyword Research tool.

    ...you try to put AdSense on your Facebook-page.

    ...your friends have forbidden you from emailing them because you include affiliate links in your personals emails.

    ...you know more names of famous Internet marketers than politicians.

    ...you would rather spend money on good advertising than a great holiday with your family.

    ...you feel like people are stupid every time someone asks what you're doing for a living.

    ...you speak to your friends so that your sentences contain a high keyword-density for your main niche.

    ...everytime someone says to you "I'm interested in xxx" you answer by "Well, this isn't a profitable niche."

    ...your wife is mad at you because everytime you come up with a new idea for a product you instantly register ten domain-names.

    ...you plan your holiday like a product launch.

    ...you treat your friends like your email-list.

    ...you ask everybody you meet for their first name and email address.

    ...you value people by the size of their list.

    ...your wife gets angry at you for not helping around the house you just reply "Honey, just try to outsource it."

    ...you always look for a hidden membership-program every time a friend offers you help for free.


    Feel free to add more!
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    "Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody"
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  • Profile picture of the author BlackWaterBlog
    Yup, I sense a legendary thread in the making. Definitely subscribing and bookmarking this thread to keep an eye on it. Was laughing so hard at the ones OP made.
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  • Profile picture of the author Amber Jalink
    LOL! You guys mind if I post this on one of my sites?

    I can link back to you

    Here's a few I had sitting on my pc from ages ago...

    .. if you take your laptop to the bathroom instead of a newspaper

    ... when the word "viral" is used in the offline world, you automatically think "viral marketing" rather than sickness as the person meant.


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    • Profile picture of the author AdamHolland
      Originally Posted by dimeco View Post

      .. if you take your laptop to the bathroom instead of a newspaper
      Omfg - I so glad someone else does this and not just me.. haha

      Newspaper? what's THAT!?


      Adam Holland
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      Powerful Training - RevolutionProfits.com

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  • Profile picture of the author stgga
    ...can't watch TV without commenting on the commercials and seeing how you could do better.
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    Always looking for feedback on internet marketing courses-good, bad or boring. Email me your report.

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  • Profile picture of the author jalamo
    Sven---AWESOME post! I really enjoyed reading that, and the best part is we all can relate
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    • Profile picture of the author Steve Campbell
      Originally Posted by jalamo View Post

      Sven---AWESOME post! I really enjoyed reading that, and the best part is we all can relate
      Definitely 'laughed out loud' for a lot of those. So true..
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  • Profile picture of the author Sheryl Polomka
    .....when you're kids ask if they can do a job to earn pocket money you tell them to build a blog.....

    .....when you're husband complains that you spend more time with the laptop than with him.....

    .....when the ironing starts piling up around your desk and never gets done....
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  • Profile picture of the author Sheryl Polomka
    ...you feel like people are stupid every time someone asks what you're doing for a living.
    I love this one, I do feel stupid every time someone asks what I do, then you have to try and explain it and they really just have no idea
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    • Profile picture of the author RobertAxelsen
      Great thread, Sven!!! Thx a lot

      Originally Posted by Sheryl Polomka View Post

      I love this one, I do feel stupid every time someone asks what I do, then you have to try and explain it and they really just have no idea
      Me too. Can sooo relate to this one. I have recently just started replying "I'm in marketing"

      ...you get irritated that sales in off-line shops are advertised with only a simple "SALES" sign, and not "SALE: Offer Ends Today. Limited Stock."
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  • Profile picture of the author hangtimenino
    when you always consider everyday stuff, as a possible niche.lol
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  • Profile picture of the author globalpro
    - you jump the clerk in the store when you buy something and they don't try to upsell you.

    Thanks,

    John
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    • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
      ... when people on other continents recognize your name, and your next-door neighbor doesn't.
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  • Profile picture of the author Eric Stanley
    ... when your GA fails to report your KPIs of your PPC campaign and you worry about how you spent too much time worrying about your SEM skills when you really should be concerned with your SMM skills, not to mention the lack of taking advantage of CPA and learning how to maximize your ROI with CPM and PPV campaigns...

    Just another day at the office... yawn..
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    • Profile picture of the author jestershaw
      Awesome, I can't believe that I read this out loud and didn't miss a thing. Us IM'ers are the new GEEKS!!!

      ...when you tweet to your family that you are getting married...true story.

      Originally Posted by Eric Stanley View Post

      ... when your GA fails to report your KPIs of your PPC campaign and you worry about how you spent too much time worrying about your SEM skills when you really should be concerned with your SMM skills, not to mention the lack of taking advantage of CPA and learning how to maximize your ROI with CPM and PPV campaigns...

      Just another day at the office... yawn..
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    • Profile picture of the author Gclunis
      Originally Posted by Eric Stanley View Post

      ... when your GA fails to report your KPIs of your PPC campaign and you worry about how you spent too much time worrying about your SEM skills when you really should be concerned with your SMM skills, not to mention the lack of taking advantage of CPA and learning how to maximize your ROI with CPM and PPV campaigns...

      Just another day at the office... yawn..

      ...when you can understand that statement as easily as you understand a sentence in your main language.
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      • Profile picture of the author reapr
        Your more concerned about what is on primetime ustream than primetime tv.

        The thought of your computer going dead is more troublesome than the tv doing the same.

        Power goes out longer than it takes to get a cup of coffee and you get shaky.

        When a friend asks how many domains you have you might say a couple of dozen active ones and a few spares laying around but not sure how many.

        When you think its 1am and its 6am.

        Every new gadget or toy the kids bring home the conversations usually begins with how popular is that and where can you get it.
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  • Profile picture of the author CurtisN
    ...your social life consists of posting in the OT section instead of the main forums.

    ...you turn a sickly shade of green and start shivering when you're disconnected from the Internet for too long.
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    Curtis Ng (blog) - Product Launch Manager
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    • Profile picture of the author genietoast
      ...when people say they hate traffic, you gasp in horror.
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      • Profile picture of the author DarioMontesdeOca
        All I can say is WOW.

        I've been Laughing My A** Off at every other reply because I can relate!


        My favorites from the list so far...

        ...you know more names of famous Internet marketers than politicians.
        ...you plan your holiday like a product launch.
        ...you title the birthday cards you send out with "SHOCKING REPORT!".
        ...your friends ask you why you don't get a "real job" and you just reply "The ROI is not worth it."

        - Sven Schoene


        ... when the word "viral" is used in the offline world, you automatically think "viral marketing" rather than sickness as the person meant.
        (I HAVE THOUGHT THE EXACT SAME THING!)

        - dimeco


        ...when people say they hate traffic, you gasp in horror.

        - genietoast


        ...you get out of bed at 2pm, bleary eyed, and walk in a direct line from the bed to the PC.
        ...you go to bed at 4am, bleary eyed, and walk in a direct line from the PC to the bed.

        - ramone johnny


        You pick up the snail mail and wonder if you opted in or not?

        - Michael Mayo


        .. you see a billboard while driving and immediately ask yourself what the clickthrough rate and CPM could be

        - sbyholm


        ...When you actually read every single word in this thread because you find it funny.

        - Slyknight


        -When your wife wants to cuddle to sleep after lovemaking, but you just GOTTA get up and go check your stats.
        (THAT IS JUST WRONG. LOL!)

        - kadensnga


        When you 'grade' advertisements you see during the day.

        - Michael Motley


        -- When you your wife is upset and asks you a question, you think about split-testing your reply...

        - dave830


        .............. you work at all odd hours!

        - Poppy61


        Thank you Warriors for posting these. And thank you Sven Schoene for starting this thread, this post made my night!

        Dario
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  • Profile picture of the author Ben_Curtis
    When you gotta get out of bed to write down an idea for an ebook you thought of as you went to sleep...........
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  • Profile picture of the author neruos
    ... you give your spouse a timed offer for dinner at a fancy restaurant and if they do not make up their mind in 2 hours take them to Burger King instead
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    NicheDemon - The Niche Marketing System to make a REAL Living Online
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  • Profile picture of the author Guitarnut
    when you go to bed when everyone else is getting up.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jeremy Morgan
      ... you tell your friends who own brick and mortar businesses ideas on how to get more "traffic" and don't even realize it.

      ... you can't watch TV without running over to google and checking keywords for something you saw on tv

      ... your IM buddy list is empty until noon

      Great idea!
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      Jeremy Morgan, Software Developer / SEO
      Check out my Programming Blog for news, tips and tutorials
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  • Profile picture of the author T.I.M.
    When you tell everyone you're signing up for/just signed up for an online coaching program and the first words out of everyones mouth are "Is it a scam"?

    Originally Posted by Sven Schoene View Post

    You know you're an Internet marketer, when...

    ...your friends have forbidden you from emailing them because you include affiliate links in your personals emails.
    Funny because I was trying to help a friend sign up for hosting and sent him a hosting company w/ aff link and when he texted I told him to check in the spam.... there it was LOL
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    • Profile picture of the author taberdude2
      When you try to explain to your spouse/significant other (who is a non im'er) what you do all day on the computer and his or her eyes glaze over.
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      Local Citations & Listings Made EZ!

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  • Profile picture of the author Doug McIsaac
    ...when you've done five figure launches with people you've never met
    ...when you're planning a 7 figure launch with people you've never met face to face and you don't think it's THAT unusual :-)

    Doug
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  • Profile picture of the author Pete223
    ... when your wife creates a Warrior profile to PM you

    Thanks for the laugh guys!!!

    Cheers, Pete
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  • when you feel no life, your eyes tired, your low back pain, but you don't need to worry about money.
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  • Profile picture of the author Clayton Jolin
    ...When you BUMP your local classifieds as soon as they hit the Page 3.
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  • Profile picture of the author zuberr
    ... when you start to have fat accumulating at the tummy area because you spend too many hours in front of the 2 big screens (TV and PC)

    ... when you wake up in the morning, brush your teeth, have your breakfast and then go for another one hour nap
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  • Profile picture of the author John Taylor
    - When you try to pay for your goceries with your Paypal account.
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    John's Internet Marketing News, Views & Reviews: John Taylor Online
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    • Profile picture of the author BlackWaterBlog
      Originally Posted by John Taylor View Post

      - When you try to pay for your goceries with your Paypal account.
      I actually think this one is possible. I've heard about online grocery stores that you can pay for and have the food delivered right to your door. Not sure if Paypal is a method of payment, but could be!
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    • Profile picture of the author George Wright
      John,

      I haven't used anything but my paypal account (paypal debit card) to pay for groceries in years.

      George Wright

      Originally Posted by John Taylor View Post

      - When you try to pay for your goceries with your Paypal account.
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      "The first chapter sells the book; the last chapter sells the next book." Mickey Spillane
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  • Profile picture of the author Joeman
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author aneel90
      Originally Posted by Joeman View Post

      ... when you get up in the morning and turn on your laptop before you clean your teeth.

      ... you spend the hottest day of the year locked away in your house glued to your PC.

      ... people wearing suits look at your oddly as you wander about in t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops in the middle of the day.

      ... everyone in your neighbourhood assumes you're unemployed as they never see you going to work

      ... you spend more per month on hosting your websites than you do on food!


      ^^ all from personal experience...
      wow I can so relate especially with this post... lol!

      thanx guys!
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    • Profile picture of the author John Boyd
      Originally Posted by Joeman View Post

      ... when you get up in the morning and turn on your laptop before you clean your teeth.

      ... you spend the hottest day of the year locked away in your house glued to your PC.

      ... people wearing suits look at your oddly as you wander about in t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops in the middle of the day.

      ... everyone in your neighbourhood assumes you're unemployed as they never see you going to work

      ... you spend more per month on hosting your websites than you do on food!



      ^^ all from personal experience...
      Good one Joeman!
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    • Profile picture of the author shirland
      Originally Posted by Joeman View Post

      ... when you get up in the morning and turn on your laptop before you clean your teeth.

      ... you spend the hottest day of the year locked away in your house glued to your PC.

      ... people wearing suits look at your oddly as you wander about in t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops in the middle of the day.

      ... everyone in your neighbourhood assumes you're unemployed as they never see you going to work

      ... you spend more per month on hosting your websites than you do on food!


      ^^ all from personal experience...
      All of my neighbors do give me strange looks when I am running in the morning everyday and my car hardly ever move from it spot in front of the house.
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    • Profile picture of the author wbakhos
      Originally Posted by Joeman View Post


      ... people wearing suits look at your oddly as you wander about in t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops in the middle of the day.

      ... everyone in your neighbourhood assumes you're unemployed as they never see you going to work
      This is me!! so funny I saw myself in this post

      great stuff
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Tracey
    When you skype your wife whose computer is a short passage away

    Michael
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris_Willow
    ...you've got a bunch of unused domains laying around

    ...you've started blogging about internet marketing (if you aren't you're not an IMer )

    ...your friends think you've got super powers when you're getting "payment received" notifications on your blackberry while sitting at a bar.

    ...you've spent more than $1000 on various IM courses and ebooks

    ...you work late and sleep till noon

    Chris
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  • Profile picture of the author ghyphena
    ...you've had to define "e-book" over 500 times

    ...you're shocked when people you talk to don't know what Google Adwords is ("you know, the little ones at the side...")

    ...you have to explain, over and over, that copywriting has nothing to do with intellectual property protection
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    Gil-Ad Schwartz

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  • Profile picture of the author cypherslock
    You know you're an Internet marketer when you've made your first money online, can show the proof and yet people still ask when you're going to get a "real J-O-B?"
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  • Profile picture of the author Brad Gosse
    -- your neighbor asks you if your "webmastr" license plate is a spiderman reference
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  • Profile picture of the author TorontoCarol
    your kids want you to babysit or go out with them every day since you're at home and seem to be doing nothing.
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    • Profile picture of the author Killer Joe
      When all your email subject lines to your freinds start with "Bad News".

      You pay your kids' allowances with your PayPal account.

      They ask you "Paper or plastic?" and think "No download?".

      You just Tweeted "What's for dinner?"

      You get back from a restaurant and immediately file a chargeback.

      The sperm guard on your keyboard hasn't been used in months.

      KJ
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    • Profile picture of the author Susan Hope
      Originally Posted by TorontoCarol View Post

      your kids want you to babysit or go out with them every day since you're at home and seem to be doing nothing.
      I can so relate to this one (well most of the others as well LOL) but this one, wow, I have had to say to my daughter on a few occasions "If I held down a 9 to 5 job outside of the home, you wouldn't be able to ask me to do that, and that and that and that etc.." she still doesn't really get it, I can tell "yeah but Mum, it will only take you 30 minutes to run that "whatever item" over to me"..

      OK I am too much of a soft touch I think..

      Sue
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  • Profile picture of the author ken_p
    if you spend at least 2 hours in the computer everyday.:-)
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    hates the rain
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  • Profile picture of the author CDarklock
    ...you get more email from opt-in lists than you get in your spam folder.
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    "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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  • Profile picture of the author xohaibx
    Absolutely hilarious! lol
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  • Profile picture of the author yves
    When you develop a strange ability to bring ANY conversation topic back to IM.

    When your friends and family know this is a certainty and are through with being polite
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    • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
      You know you're an Internet marketer, when...

      you successfully stop your children from crying with a One Time Offer.

      You purchase something in a brick and motor store and leave it thinking you can download it later.

      Your wife tells you the grass needs to be cut and you outsource the job.

      You receive a call from a salesman and end up selling them something.

      You pick up the snail mail and wonder if you opted in or not?

      Have a Great Day!
      Michael
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    • Profile picture of the author brendgard
      .... When GoDaddy sends you birthday, and Christmas cards

      .... When you get them you think "wtf, when did they start making paper ones?"


      Ouch, a little too close to home there, not funny, seriously, not funny guys! Why are you laughing and pointing at me?
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    • Profile picture of the author anth.elias
      When consider regular everyday conversation with people as content and want to put it on you Word Press Blog.
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    • Profile picture of the author michelle0804
      An internet marketer must know how IM really works.The basic,strategy,sales and get earnings from working hard online.
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      • Profile picture of the author Lisa Gergets
        ...your husband begins giving the netbook dirty looks.

        ...your son hides said netbook to get some time with you.

        ...you begin to think that insuring your netbook with Lloyds of London is maybe not so extreme.

        ...you get butterflies in your stomach not from your mate, but from finding the perfect niche phrase.

        ...your netbook is at your bedside so that you can check stats upon waking or look up a niche you dreamed about.

        ...you have to physically step away from the computer while looking at WSO's.
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      • Profile picture of the author George Wright
        When you see someone posting oneliners that don't fit the thread but you don't hit the report this thread button because you're just having too much fun reading this thread.

        Originally Posted by michelle0804 View Post

        An internet marketer must know how IM really works.The basic,strategy,sales and get earnings from working hard online.

        EDIT: When you go back to notice they have gone from 7 posts to 10 posts in the time it took you to make this post, and you start to get annoyed because ther post average is 10 posts per day and they only have 10 posts. And you think WOW at this rate they will be banned form here in about 5 minutes.
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        "The first chapter sells the book; the last chapter sells the next book." Mickey Spillane
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  • Profile picture of the author crissanteiro
    you don't leave your house and your computer for 3 days in a row...

    you discover an IM secret and feel like you "cracked the code"...

    you wonder why people still want to have other jobs...
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  • Profile picture of the author John Romaine
    ...you get out of bed at 2pm, bleary eyed, and walk in a direct line from the bed to the PC.

    ...you go to bed at 4am, bleary eyed, and walk in a direct line from the PC to the bed.
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  • Profile picture of the author metaphors
    Can't visit a website without seeing how it is being monetized.

    you have to explain to your friends that if they click on that link someone makes 50 cents to 3 dollars.

    you have more than 10 email addresses.
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  • Profile picture of the author George Wright
    When you tell your friend that the simple solution to his immediate financial dilemma is to write an ebook and sell it online. ("Just write about your passion.")

    When you can't understand why the GREAT website you put up to wish your friend Happy Anniversary wasn't clicked on more than once. (Don't they show it to EVERYONE)

    When you fall asleep at the keyboard and wake up to see a complete 450 page article on your latest "passion."

    When you finally let a URL expire after not using it for 4 years and still feel like you've lost a child. And, when you feel bitter toward the terrible person who registered that URL you let expire. (Kidnapper)

    When you HAVE to have the Internet and email feature on your cell phone.

    When you wake up in the middle of the night and register the GREAT URL that popped up in a dream, and later wonder what it means. Just two of mine, long since expired, were xoflax.com and investingurl.com ..... what the heck is a xoflax?

    When your host goes down for 5 minutes and you think it's the end of your world as you know it.

    When it's time to pay for hosting and it's either hosting or eating. Paying the hosting is a no brainer.

    When you could set and type answers to this thread and others can come up with more answers and there is very little Dupe Content.

    George Wright
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    "The first chapter sells the book; the last chapter sells the next book." Mickey Spillane
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  • Profile picture of the author Mike Hill
    Originally Posted by Sven Schoene View Post

    You know you're an Internet marketer, when...

    ...you have to help your 11-year old son to write an essay about Abraham Lincoln for school and it ends up sounding like a sales-letter selling Abraham Lincoln.

    ...when you move out of your house you post a WSO to get rid of your old couch you don't want to take with you.

    ...you give Google AdWord-coupons as a gift to your wife at christmas.

    ...you have the WarriorForum as your browser's start-page.

    ...you are disappointed every time you buy at Walmart that you don't get a free bonus together with your purchase.

    ...you're best friend is asking you to help him finding a buyer for his old PC, you ask him for the affiliate link.

    ...instead of using Google you use the Google Keyword Research tool.

    ...you try to put AdSense on your Facebook-page.

    ...your friends have forbidden you from emailing them because you include affiliate links in your personals emails.

    ...you know more names of famous Internet marketers than politicians.

    ...you would rather spend money on good advertising than a great holiday with your family.

    ...you feel like people are stupid every time someone asks what you're doing for a living.

    ...you speak to your friends so that your sentences contain a high keyword-density for your main niche.

    ...everytime someone says to you "I'm interested in xxx" you answer by "Well, this isn't a profitable niche."

    ...your wife is mad at you because everytime you come up with a new idea for a product you instantly register ten domain-names.

    ...you plan your holiday like a product launch.

    ...you treat your friends like your email-list.

    ...you ask everybody you meet for their first name and email address.

    ...you value people by the size of their list.

    ...your wife gets angry at you for not helping around the house you just reply "Honey, just try to outsource it."

    ...you always look for a hidden membership-program every time a friend offers you help for free.


    Feel free to add more!

    Ha... this is classic

    I remember helping my 12 year old son with a few projects and all of them sounded like sales letters... Then he came home one day and had to develop an infomercial - I was in heaven and together we created a dam good infomercial.

    Needless to say he got an A+

    I find my internet marketing skills are used every day in everything I do anywhere at any time... LOL

    Mike Hill
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    • Profile picture of the author brucemcc
      Originally Posted by Mike Hill View Post

      Ha... this is classic

      I remember helping my 12 year old son with a few projects and all of them sounded like sales letters... Then he came home one day and had to develop an infomercial - I was in heaven and together we created a dam good infomercial.

      Needless to say he got an A+

      I find my internet marketing skills are used every day in everything I do anywhere at any time... LOL

      Mike Hill
      I can relate to this one. My son had to do a report on Winston Churchill. He said he could put the report on a website instead of turning in a printed copy. I was in heaven.
      20thCenturyHero dot com
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  • Profile picture of the author Gclunis
    ..when you start reading books on business and IM and actually find the interesting.

    ..when you can sit and read a 200 page report on how to improve your traffic and actually take something away from it.

    ..when you have dreams about what you should be doing next to improve your business.
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  • Profile picture of the author visiontodream
    ha! That is great!
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  • Profile picture of the author hipnol
    never ending awesome laughter list... thanks everyone
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  • Profile picture of the author jayguy
    You donĀ“t shave for a week!
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  • Profile picture of the author sbyholm
    .. when someone in the marketing dept (at your day job) has a new product idea and you immediately use the Google keyword tool to see of there is a market for it.
    .. when you make a website ranking well on Google to sell your car
    .. you get snail mail from a local business and you almost call them to suggest using a bigger font and a clear call to action.
    .. you can't visit a website without asking yourself how it's monetized
    .. you see a billboard while driving and immediately ask yourself what the clickthrough rate and CPM could be
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  • Profile picture of the author Mr Eagle
    ...When you start you copy with" Dear friend "as if you have met the person before
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  • Profile picture of the author daver99
    .... When you "split test" your Dunkin Donuts order to see which prompts a faster response!

    .... When you your wife asks you to "pass the ketchup" and you throw in a "one time offer" that leads to a continuity program!
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  • Profile picture of the author Russ Reynolds
    ...you finish every conversation with 'But if you act now, in the next 10 minutes'
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  • Profile picture of the author googlerankingexpert
    Banned
    This is an awesome post Sven. Most of this stuff I don't do though, hahaha
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  • Profile picture of the author Alminc
    ... when your wife can't get pregnant and you start thinking how to generate more
    'targeted traffic' or how to improve her 'conversion rate'
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  • Profile picture of the author Slyknight
    ...When you actually read every single word in this thread because you find it funny.

    ...When you wake up and feel annoyed about having to delete all these Payment Notification e-mails.
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  • Profile picture of the author Arunabh Singh
    When you go to bed money making ideas are floating in your mind.
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  • Profile picture of the author Emily Meeks
    When you wonder why chain stores don't hold Giveaway Events.

    When you start giving friends Free Reports when they ask for advice.

    When your children tell their teachers they'll do a 500-word assignment for $20 (but if they act RIGHT NOW...)

    Your husband thinks you're a shopaholic because all you ever do is browse WSOs.
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  • Profile picture of the author sega001
    . . when your on vacation and the hotel your staying at has a computer room and you find yourself staying there all night on the web
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  • Profile picture of the author kswr123
    ...When you spend so much time on the computer that you have to bury it when it eventually dies

    ...When you speak in abbreviations (PPC, SEO, MMR, WSO) to people who have NO idea what you are talking about

    ...When you GASP at the idea of NOT having a website

    ...You who is lookup websites that your friends own

    ...You use Google for anything other than a search engine

    ...You use youtube for something other than watching Lolcats

    ...You wish there was a 'Hello' magazine for im celebrities

    ...You choke when people tell you they have no idea what article marketing is
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  • Profile picture of the author kswr123
    When you think of improving the conversion or Click-thru rate of your homework assignments :S
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  • Profile picture of the author Gclunis
    ..you finish your work day early and still spend hours just browsing through the warrior forums.
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  • Profile picture of the author elle56
    This is hilarious but true! If I try to explain what I do online with my mom, she'll give me that blank stare as if I'm talking gibberish.
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  • Profile picture of the author Marc Jager
    *LMAO* @ the OP - Thanks for cheering me up at work.

    *LOL* @ genietoast's "...when people say they hate traffic, you gasp in horror."

    *LOL* @ Ben_Curtis' "When you gotta get out of bed to write down an idea for an ebook you thought of as you went to sleep..........."

    Which brings me to mine - ...when you go to sleep Your dreams consist only of IM related matters(I get a lot of good ideas in bed)
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  • Profile picture of the author falcon_warrior
    Nice ones XD

    .....when you draw a Johnson box around everything you want others to put their attention to

    ...when you meet new people you automatically ask for their email addresses

    ...you tell everyone "I bought this before. Guess what I found?"

    ...you ask for the 'conversion rate' when applying to college/a job/whatever that has a percentage chance of getting into

    ...you tend to click the "ok" instead of the "cancel" button in a popup

    ...you write an article in 7 minutes, and feel good about it
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  • Profile picture of the author George Tee
    .. when you think that everyone in university is STUPIDLY struggling to get a perfect GPA so that they can ensure a good career.

    .. when everything in your eyes everywhere is about opportunities, risk and money..

    .. when you buy domains like the way you eat apples. "a domain a day keeps the doctor away. "

    .. when everyone is out at work and you are the only one at home.
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  • Profile picture of the author TorontoCarol
    ...when you see a great bargain at the store and immediately wonder how much you could sell it for on eBay.
    ..... when you hear that a relative or friend is having financial problems, you immediately think how they could sell their expertise online.
    ----when you can't figure out why offline businesses can't see the need to update their websites or do things to get traffic.
    ...when you love those times when the family all go out and leave you and your computer alone together for awhile.
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    • Profile picture of the author John Durham
      .


      - when you have been telling yourself for 2 hours that you're gonna go get a starbucks in a few minutes, and you're still at your pc.

      -when you finally get there you order 5 coffee's so you wont have to get up again for 15 hours straight.

      - when you didn't even know it was a national holiday until the day arrived and someone told you "Today is a holiday"... and you are like "DAMN that sucks"!!

      -When your wife wants to cuddle to sleep after lovemaking, but you just GOTTA get up and go check your stats.

      -When she say's "we need to spend more time together" and you suggest working side by side on an adwords campaign telling her "it'll be fun".

      Finally,

      - When your kids say "Dad, I want to go to college" and you respond "where's the future in that..."?


      .
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  • Profile picture of the author Gee S
    - When you spend more time on the Warrior Forum, than you do with your partner!
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    • Profile picture of the author vneely
      ... you skim through magazines for profitable niche ideas.

      ... you actually read your junk mail to study their advertising techniques.

      ... you get excited about a new hobby because not only is it fun, you plan to write and sell an eBook about it.

      ... your skin crawls when you think about getting a "real job."
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
    When you find yourself critiqueing tv commercials

    When you give telemarketers feedback when they call

    When you 'grade' advertisements you see during the day.

    When spam doesn't piss you off because you get it, but because of sloppy execution (and you mail the originator with feedback)
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    • Profile picture of the author John Durham
      Originally Posted by Michael Motley View Post

      When spam doesn't piss you off because you get it, but because of sloppy execution (and you mail the originator with feedback)
      Yeah. lol When you are "impressed with good spam campaigns".
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  • Profile picture of the author dave830
    -- When you your wife is upset and asks you a question, you think about split-testing your reply...
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Motley
    I find myself forever checking out marketing, even offline.

    For instance i was sitting at a stoplight the other day at a fairly busy intersection. It occurred to me that within my field if vision there were over 85 advertisements in the form of billboards at varying heights and i tell my girlfriend this, then start talking about how height, lit vs non-lit, colors, location from intersection, type of billboard being used could possibly effect the various ads.

    Here eyes glazed over in the same fashion mine do when she starts talking about shoes.
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  • Profile picture of the author Poppy61
    .............. you work at all odd hours!
    ..............you work in your bathroom slippers!
    ..............get up at 4 am to check your paypal account or how many sales you have made
    ..............find it difficult to explain people what you do
    ..............think of hot niches before you finally fall asleep



    That's me!
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  • Profile picture of the author John Willer
    A lot of these hit home!
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  • Profile picture of the author Kezz
    When the only sign that you ever move is the RSI in your mouse wrist.

    When you have the Vitamin D levels of a 90 year old in a home.

    When someone tells you they're having financial trouble, and your first thought is what ebook topic to suggest to them.

    When instead of buying gifts for people you build them a website - the gift that keeps on giving.
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  • Profile picture of the author kswr123
    When you give a bum some money, hoping that the 'law of reciprocity' will come into play, and he'll give you his millions some day...

    When you have an Aweber list with all your friends and family on it, so you can just mail them all with your latest updates
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  • Profile picture of the author GregtheWriter
    when all your friends are marketers and love them all for all the free stuff they give each other.
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    • Profile picture of the author Sven Schoene
      [DELETED]
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan C. Rinnert
        ...when you think fast food joints could sell more food if they posted details of their current specials on their websites instead of only in their TV ads.
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  • Profile picture of the author Calvin Woon
    when you are travelling on a vacation and you're using a laptop on a beach desperately trying to send out an email promo for your friend's launch

    gosh.. I'm really loving this! LOL.. thanks Warriors for the great laugh!
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  • Profile picture of the author BradCarroll
    ...when your daughter tries to wake you up and you say, "Quit yelling keywords at me!"

    ...when you are half-awake and looking at your cat, thinking about how he does keywords and marketing.

    My girlfriend did the first one and I have done the second. Seems like there are a few more but these two really stand out.
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  • Profile picture of the author enrikole
    This is probably the funniest thread I've read in months. LOL


    -- When you your wife is upset and asks you a question, you think about split-testing your reply...
    my favorite
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  • Profile picture of the author mikemcmillan
    Gads this is the most entertainment I've seen here in forever. Sven, this one you gave-- "...you have a link to your opt-in-page on your business card." oh my gosh, what a gem!

    The only one I can think of is... When you go to the grocery store and see a sign saying "new product" over an item, and you ask the manager for the link to the leader board and affiliate page.
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  • Profile picture of the author blackballarena
    When you sleep by your laptop, and first thing when you wake up, is to see if there are any new WSOs that you want.
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  • Profile picture of the author iw
    after having your breakfast, start your daily activity with checking stats and traffic..
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  • Profile picture of the author BurgerBoy
    When you quit your day job and sit at your computer at home all day and night trying to make easy money - and find out that you work harder at home than you did when you had a day job.

    When your wife tells you to mow the yard instead of playing at the computer all day and you tell her that as long as the grass is not as tall as the house we can still find where we live and if it gets taller than the house we can still find the house because we know it's at the back of the lot with the tall weeds in the neighborhood.

    When you wife doesn't even try to get you to eat with the family anymore - she just brings your plate to you at your computer.

    When company comes over your wife has to entertainment them by herself because you stay at the computer - and close the door to the room - because they are making so much noise you can't think.

    It makes you mad when you're in the middle of doing something to your website and you have to go to the bathroom.

    When you buy a walkie-talkie set and tell your wife to keep hers with her at all times so if you need some coffee or something you can call her and tell her without having to leave the computer and what you're working on.
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  • Profile picture of the author Festinho
    ...you make ur first sale :-)
    - your friends look at u suspiciously
    - you stop having time for idle friends
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  • Profile picture of the author patlondon
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author patlondon
      Very funny- especially the getting a free upgrade with purchase at Walmart!

      I'd also add that you know you're a marketer when it takes you till midnite to even get that first cup o coffee cause you wanted to check your stats real quick first!
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  • Profile picture of the author DougBarger
    ....When your family member calls you and asks you if they can talk to you for a minute and you find yourself either pitching them on your coaching program or ask them to submit a support ticket at the help desk.


    ...Your barber or hair stylist makes the usual small talk and ends up becoming your latest offline gold client

    ...You go to the bookstores and insert your business cards into the books that deal with how to make money, the internet, marketing, etc.

    ...You pay your weekly tithe sending the pastor your 10% via paypal and write "tithe" in the subject line.
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  • Profile picture of the author howudoin
    ....When you look at recent successful online models (like Twitter) and think how to better that idea to make your first billion

    Bhupinder
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  • Profile picture of the author Thomas Wilkinson
    You phone your elderly Mother at 4:00 am to celebrate getting
    Filezilla to work properly.
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    When you hear someone telling you what YOU can't do, they are usually talking about what THEY can't do.
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  • Profile picture of the author Raiel Schwartz
    When you pay someone to do your homework and call it outsourcing <--- True Story
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  • Profile picture of the author Kim Standerline
    You buy the grandkids a pony and whilst watching your friend schooling it have a brilliant idea for a membership site (that was me yesterday lol)

    Kim
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  • Profile picture of the author Shane Hale
    You look for traffic stats in the morning paper...
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  • Profile picture of the author JohnMcCabe
    > When you and your wife email each other, even though you're only sitting 20 feet apart.

    > When that isn't working, you consider teaching her about Instant Messaging...
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris Faraday
    You freak out!!! When you misplace your dictation machine... =0
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    Super-Conscious Affiliate

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  • Profile picture of the author homebasedmom
    I have still a lot to learn to be called Internet marketer. I don't consider myself as one cause I am still on the process of gathering info's and tips on how to be one.

    Eventually soon I will get there.
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  • Profile picture of the author AnubisSeth
    when you see yourself in almost each of these posts, laugh hysterically, and then proceed to get depro because its now over
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  • Profile picture of the author avani
    When you see "IM" and you think it stands for "Internet Marketing".

    When you read that and think "but of course, what else could it possibly stand for?!"...


    Signature
    Does your wordpress blog stick out of the rest of your website?

    Wouldn't you like it to blend in?*

    *Send me a PM for details.
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  • Profile picture of the author DougBarger
    When you walk to your mailbox and smile because instead of another bill,
    it's another clickbank check.
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