I critique a lot of emails from both clients as well as students I coach.
One of the biggest mistakes I see them both make... is not asking for the damn sale!
Don't be pamby mamby and tip toe around the sale... tell them to order now... and then drop the link in front of them.
Look, people need direction... they need to be led.
And the worse thing you can do is get them hot and bothered... and drop the ball at the end of the email and not...